hey I’m 20F and I’m dating my gf 21F , we have been together for around 11 months. Next week we are going for 2 nights at the beach for our one year anniversary. We have done things but we haven’t done what we deem sex yet which is using a strap.
My girlfriend asked me if she can use the strap on me on our one year anniversary. I do really want to. I got lingerie for the occasion but I guess I’m just nervous. Being with a girl, it’s not as spontaneous and you got to plan and buy a strap for the occasion, I guess I’m just nervous of all this planning and chats I have had her. She is the top and I’m the bottom and I guess I’m just nervous.
She tells me it’s okay and we can wait but I do really want to do it, I’m just nervous and like worried that I’m going to lose my virginity and we won’t stay together forever. Am I naive? It’ll be a perfect moment. Alone and on our one year anniversary. Any advice for a first time? Or what can help me decide on doing it? I do want to, just anxious if it’s the right time.
Comments
If you feel ready, go for it! You can always say, “Hey, I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m ready for this yet. Can we slow things down,” if it doesn’t feel right in the moment. Both of you should feel confortable and ready for this next step in your relationship.
It’s ok to feel nervous, awkward or even embarrassed your first time. After all – this is as intimate and personal as you can get with someone!
Get some good lube, some massage ouls, etc. You may want to consider a relaxing shower or bath together.
Take things slowly and find out what feels good together. Don’t be shy about asking to try something, or telling her if it feels good.
Let your partner know that you enjoy what is happening, and that you are glad it’s with her.
Don’t be disappointed if it ISN’T a huge thrill the first time. Sex is like most things in life: it gets better and better with practice.
There are lots of books and instructional videos about female-female lovemaking. “Sex For Dummies” (yes, there is one, and by a renowned sex therapist) and other manuals can be found online and in your local public library.
Yes – this might not be your forever relationship. That doesn’t mean it was a waste if you break up later. Part of who we are is whom we have loved, and we learn something new about ourselves, love and life with every partner. No experience is a waste!
I hope your first time is everything you hope, and best wishes to you and your beautiful lady!
Ayoo
Pero es que no es necesario usar un consolador soy les desde que me acuerdo, y perdí la virginidad a los 18 tengo 30 y nunca eh usado un consolador.. Tengo 6 años con mi pareja actual solos versátiles y no lo úsamos y mi pareja me ah dado los órgasmo más placentero y ricos que eh podido tener.. Solo se trata de como estimular a una mujer con los dedos
Go for it, why not
It’s perfectly normal to be nervous.
Don’t get hung up on what will or won’t be the future.
Enjoy each other’s company and live in that moment.
Also, neither of you will be perfect at it. There may be awkward or embarrassing moments.
That’s ok. It’s perfectly normal. Have fun with it.
Trust your instincts. They’re there for a reason. That cognitive dissonance you’re feeling isn’t anxiety. It’s telling you something.
I’ll just give you a heads up. Whether your first time is next week or next year, it won’t be “perfect”. It’ll be awkward, sweaty, and barely enjoyable. That’s everyone’s first time. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t live up to the idea you have in your head
There’s no such thing a a perfect first time no matter when you do it it’ll be nerve wracking maybe painful, but hey that just what happens when you have sex for the first time.
You’re never going to not be nervous. I lost my virginity last month and I have been with the same person for over 5 years. I was soooo nervous before it happened but when it was actually happening, nothing had ever felt so right. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to be scared, just make sure that you make your needs and wants known beforehand so everyone knows what is and is not okay.