(NSFW, trigger warn?) —- Crying after sex

Hi everyone!

I wanted to ask if any of y’all have experienced this, and maybe why it was the case or what was going on for you. I also would appreciate any perspective or advice if you feel like you are seeing something here I don’t. Also this is kinda depressing and maybe post-trauma.

I’m going out with a dude, last night we had sex for the first time after 3 wks of dating. I’m not even sure what context to share here, let me just say he’s a good guy, attentive, I’ve been with not so good guys a while back and would cry silently after having sex with them– dark times…

Now last night here we are, we’re having sex, I’m having few feelings/ no clear feelings. I’d wanted to but now that we are, yeah. But I continue because I guess I want to … learn to … enjoy myself? I don’t know. Nothing was changing just avoiding relationships, ya know.

Then afterwards, I just start crying unhappily, (openly cuz he’s safe), also can’t distinguish any feelings. He asks what’s wrong but I don’t really know. He lays there and comforts me but I don’t feel comfort.

Does anyone have similar experiences? Thoughts? I’m in therapy btw lol but yeah I dunno