I was recently offered a good set of money to have sex with a business man I was talking to from Miami. We spoke for a week or so over the phone and exchange photos he was an attractive wealthy guy. I didn’t go through with it as I was too scared. We also had no conversation about boundaries prior. I went to his hotel panicked and left. I have a profession but currently live with family as the income isn’t enough. The situation has changed my self perception so much. Questions of value and self worth. I’m also having doubts on whether I made the wrong choice especially since I’m financially struggling. I’ve never been paid for sex and it felt wrong to open my legs to a stranger same day of meeting. I feel overwhelmed with the thoughts of the money I lost out on, what it could have done for my life. Tossing and turning every night since. He has now ghosted me. I am regretful but I truly don’t know how it would have gone if I went through with it. I feel myself internally screaming. It has left a void and loneliness. Needing perspective.
Comments
You’ll never have a husband that respects you if you sell yourself. No man worth a damn would ever want to end up with a whore…..I think you made the right choice
You made the correct decision. Once you make the compromise and reap the huge financial benefits it will be much easier continue.
You are obviously attractive. If you want a man to provide for u, I’m sure there are many out there that will via a traditional relationship.
A young woman’s beauty is one of the most valuable commodities. Don’t sell it for short term comforts.
You did the right thing. Don’t sell yourself short. Had you triggered a memory when I was 18 living in Vegas and my best friend and sister were stripping. We were headed back from Vegas to cali and a guy in a E class flashed at us wads of cash. My sister and best friend wanted to pull over and ‘service’. That’s the day I found out they were escorts..
Long story short, I yelled at them for being whores told my sister we weren’t raised as such we had class and wtf were we doing? I essentially told that guy as he was driving to fuck off.
You are capable of doing so much don’t stop at what you think is the end. Have faith and know everything is as it should be. I really didn’t have direction, just my belief and faith.
I have 2 kids, a construction business, a 2015 Amg S63 and a 2017 lifted gmc, and a wonderful husband, we started with nothing and made goals and accomplished a lot together. If I can do it, anyone can do virtually anything
I’m just like you or anyone else in this world looking for a purpose learning from struggles. . Just keep your head up don’t beat yourself up. You got this just as much as the next person, I’ll pray for you to find your peace and happiness, take care, stranger
Remember you did the right thing. You’re special don’t just let anyone have a piece of you stay strong love xo ❤️
Only one can tell you if the decision was right and that is you. You are the one that has to live with it. However imo you probably made the right decision
Unlike other comments, I’m not going to assume that you are a woman or wanting a man to marry you. Base your decisions off what feels good to you. You went, panicked and left. But why. What part made you panic. This is a moment you can truly self examine and learn from potentially. Why did you panic, was it because of lack of boundaries discussion which is important with any type of sexual connection IMO. Have you ever had a hookup, ONS type of situation prior; was the anxiety from that overwhelming everything else? Examine the true cause for you to leave.
You have done nothing wrong on any level, so please do not beat yourself up or feel bad about considering it. Many many many people live off sex work in many ways and there are also many people who would not care if that is something in your past. I know people who are fully functioning adults with spouses and families who make a ton of money just off only fans, which is a form of sex work (only fans has things other than sex related profiles but that’s not my current focus for this discussion. I don’t need anyone yelling only fans doesn’t only have sex, I’m aware).
You seem to be young based off your post, it’s the time in life to experiment, learn and grow from experiences, not be afraid to do anything because of what others may think. Also do not be ashamed for every doing what you feel you need to do to survive and make it on your own. The same people saying you would never find a husband, and just find a relationship to do this for you are assuming you want a husband or relationship but it is fine to not want either of those things. You could seek being a ‘sugar baby’, which doesn’t always involve any physical connection, but does have much more connection and may be something that would interest you.
I hope my words have offered some comfort and help. Keep your head up, don’t let this moment define any part of you, it was one moment of one day.
Edited:formatting
I’m going to be a bit controversial and say even if you did go ahead it won’t have defined you
Women, like guys, should be able to do what they want and settle down later without it being anybody’s business
The key thing is that it is your choice rather than enforced
Anyway glad you didn’t have to go through with it since you were clearly uncomfortable
Hope goes well in your own career and your life
You did the right thing,a lot of male older guys approach me to do this,and I’m a man
speaking as a long term sugar daddy, I think it’s great you reconsidered but the way you left perhaps offended him. Did he completely block you? if not, maybe you can find the time to write a short concise message on why and how you felt in the moment…. it’s understandable if you went through with it, that could have tainted your self esteem, integrity etc. but if he is willing to put in more effort and considerate of your feelings… who knows what could develop. If you are attracted to him maybe you can develop an arrangement with the guy. The transactional proposal sometimes is heat of the moment lust, hot but can be detrimental if you are not like that. You really have to think it through with yourself and determine what you are willing to do for what basically.
It’s dancing w the devil a bit. Some of us do it better than others.
There is something called “gut sense”. Just trust your microbiota they know what they are doing there and don’t overthink. Think about that as something unusual and in a fun way, a story to tell…
Think about who you want to be and become that person. If you sold your body to this man, is this something you’d be okay with in the future? Right now, you may feel regret but one day your life is going to change and hopefully money will come. From experience, quick fixes are always temporary solutions to greater problems.
You would have gotten absolutely abused.
It wouldn’t have been normal, enjoyable sex.
No one can tell you whether your decision is right or wrong. structurally, people know a lot and have opinions about everything. make a decision yourself, and if you regret it, be yourself. take responsibility. what you are going to do may be wrong for someone else, but if it is right for you, no problem.
Why not, do it. It’s just sex, people are doing it for free, set boundaries, what he can do and what not.
Nobody can judge you.
For what it’s worth, you made the right decision for you.
At the end of the day, money comes and goes but the guilt and bad feelings had you gone through with it, remain forever.
Your vagina says thank you. There’s no shame in living with family, especially these days. A Gucci bag will not fulfill your coochie.
Only thing is I wouldn’t have told my friends about it though
You can’t trust anyone with your personal business
How much was he offering?
You made the right choice. Always trust your gut. You can and always will earn more money (even if you’re struggling for the time being), but sleeping with that guy for money… well you would have questioned your own integrity, you probably would have required therapy and whose to say he isn’t some psycho that would have physically harmed you.
Hi, I’m a former sugar baby. I think in this situation, you did what felt right to you, and that’s what is important. I have sometimes said no to potential sugar daddies based only on a bad feeling, and I have sometimes said yes to having sex for money with a guy the first time I meet him, if it feels right to me. I would never say yes if I felt “panicked”, nor would I put myself in uncomfortable situations or compromise my values for money.
All this said, it may be worth reflecting on whether you think there is something morally wrong about having sex for money, since that sounds like what might have caused you to have those panicked thoughts and feel wrong. I have never felt that way about sugar relationships because 1) we both are consenting adults, 2) I don’t have any shame around being a “slut” or someone who will have sex on a first date, so it’s not too different to a first date if I’m also attracted to the guy, and 3) I feel a silly sense of connection to one of the oldest professions in the history of the world. I fortunately never needed the money (it was all a fun side perk), so I could be confident I was making decisions around what I wanted to do rather than out of desperation or a sense of coercion.
Oh and btw, in another comment you said:
>In terms of sugar baby I tend to just attached wealthy men and it’s not a complaint it just comes with controlling dynamics.
Yes, I absolutely get this haha. It’s hot when the guy knows how to take charge, and likes doing it. This is part of why sugar dating sex was so appealing to me. It’s like one of my kinks was built right into the relationship. If you’re interested, there’s a subreddit for it: https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/
Wait how much money are we talking about? Has anyone bothered to ask that yet?
Do it.
Now days you don’t want to take chances out there especially when you have never really met this guy in person .
You say he was filthy rich .I make a lot of money at my business as ND people think I’m rich but far from it I invest alot of my money thinking about my future yeah I bring in over $300,000 a year . I can dress up in nice clothes people that I know see me and say WOW but someone u don’t know I could be a really bad guy .there are so many people not just guys looking to get a woman into a spot where she can’t do anything you never know what could happen my friend she was a dancer ( stripper) and made great money her and a couple friends went to Las Vegas one weekend And in two days made a lot and started going down there every weekend then coming back home and gave the week off well her best friend one night a guy offered good money for a little on the side she left with him and a week later they found her body in the desert outside of Vegas .