I have a really memorable phone number—like “123-4567” level distinct—so people often think I’m making it up when I give it out. For years now, some businessman named Dan (I’ll leave out his last name) has been giving out my number to clients or people he doesn’t want to deal with, just to brush them off.
I’ve usually been polite when these people call, just letting them know they have the wrong number. Over time, I’ve picked up a surprising amount of info about Dan just by talking to the callers—his full name, job title, the company he works for. He’s very real. I never wanted to get involved or reach out to him directly.
But after years of this nonsense, I’ve had enough. Lately, when someone calls asking for Dan, I tell them he moved to Arizona because of “some legal issues and embezzlement.” And if they ask if there’s a new contact at the company, I say the whole operation is under investigation.
I really hope this rumor makes its way back to him, because—Dan, stop giving out my number. Seriously.
Comments
Wow, that’s a, uh, devious and inventive way to retaliate. Kudos on thinking outside the box! (Although maybe it’s time Dan got a taste of real deceit.)
Hilarious. This. Exactly this. I can’t believe he thought he could give your digits out like candy at a birthday party, you go girl. Kudos to you for turning the tables on Dan with such a devilish twist, sending shivers up his spine now that he’s tangled in his own embezzlement web. Pure genius!
Why stop there?
Go wilder. He is currently on a gay swinger’s cruise/He was caught selling meth and is on the run/he is under investigation for pedophilia/he is at a Diddy party…
The list goes on.
Why not give people his actual work number and maybe even company address?
Imagine how confused he would be if people started calling him and saying some nice person gave them his real number when he gave them a fake one.
You just cut the legs out from under lieutenant dan.
You could get in trouble for libel. You know he’s real and you are deliberately lying about him and his company. He definitely has your phone number. Have you thought this through?
Ever thought of picking a fight? Call the caller every name under the Sun and tell him/her to come to his business address.
That’s top drawer petty revenge right there!
I would almost consider paying one of those online information finders and discover the guys actual personal and business phone numbers.
So when someone calls you asking for him, after telling the above mentioned tales, say : “here is his last known personal number”, and additionally give them his office number too, and state: “this is his parole officers number, they would really like to find him if you see him.”
My best friend growing up had a number one digit off from a local pizza place.
His parents would calmly take pizza orders, quote a price, promise delivery, and get off the phone.
As far as they were concerned, it was the pizza place’s problem.
This is brilliant
I had a guy doing this with a number of mine. I started telling the people who called, “When you see this guy next time punch/slap him in the face for me. He can’t figure out his own phone number and I’m being harassed.”
At the risk of being a party pooper, watch out for the possibility of being sued for defamation. If it affects his business and he finds out, you might be vulnerable.
Well done! Be sure to say”allegedly” so he can’t sure you later
I have a Dave who gives out my email address. He’s a doctor so I looked him up and he is at a university hospital on staff which also had his email. So I go sign him up for all the bs I get.
An old employee at my company (I never met them) gave out his old work number to people he didn’t want to deal with. Since I inherited that number, it was not fun.
At first I was nice, and thought it was just people he didn’t talk to, but after a while it was obvious he was still giving it out. I started telling people “Oh, Michael hasn’t had that number for years, he only gives it out to people he doesn’t actually want to talk to. Of course then I get the calls, and I have to tell you that Micheal thinks so little of you that he gave you his old number to avoid you. It’s a dick move for sure”
Remarkably after 3-4 times of that, he stopped giving his old number out.
Careful of slander.
You have his real number? Scientologiy sign up it is. They NEVER give up.
Edited to correct slander
Maybe you don’t want it to get back to him….
I don’t mean to be a downer but this is slander. If one of those people you lied to on the phone gets a hold of Dan, he has a very strong slander case. (Slander: the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation.) All he has to prove is you said those things to cause him harm purposefully (ahem, this post) and Dan own’s your house and your future income.
I will probably get downvoted for being Henny Penny but… you are not anonymous to Dan. He uses your phone number and can probably get your name and address after a five minute web search.
He could lose a big contract because you told people he was embezzling. His company could lose a big contract because you made up “legal Issues.” You have given Dan, or his company, a LOT of reason to find out who you are. Once they do, then yo have to worry: is a furious Dan going to show up at your door or is his lawyer gonna show up? They sure aren’t going to laugh off their reputations being slandered for fun and giggles.
Lame-ass fake bullshit
“I’m sorry, Dan is no longer with us. He lived too close to a school for his probation so he was forced to move and decided to take himself out of state.”
10 bucks says this person’s name is Jenny. 🙂
Love this. You really need to see the movie Ruthless People. Bette Midler and Danny Devito. Someone calls Danny Devito’s office and he tells the caller she can’t come to the phone right now because she has his d**k in her mouth and hangs up. He then says “I love wrong numbers.”
Give his information to the Church of Scientology.
Wasn’t me!
You can also ask the caller if Dan has registered with the State Police where he is living now. Any follow up question gets, “You should really ask Dan to explain why that is necessary. Not for me to share.”
Or ask if they are chasing some kind of collections. You don’t what’s up, but suddenly Dan is getting a lot of calls from collection agencies.
I have a lady who’s been doing this to me for years. Turns out she used to have my old number. So I looked my number up on a background check website, found her and her new number, and I just give that to people now lol
I had two different people using my number. One using it so much so when I Google my number the internet comes up with his name. The first person (I forget her name now) had vet appointments come to me, tanning appointments, all sorts of whatever. The last call I ever got was a pharmacy calling to say the emergency script was just filled, they could stay open just a little late for the pills to be picked up, but hurry! I explained I was not the person who needed emergency medication, and asked if they could try to call her some other way. They said it was the only number they had, confirmed I really didn’t know her and…I just hope they weren’t life saving pills. Though, I never got a call for her again. The second person, the one whose number is on the internet, is clearly a jerk if he uses my number that much. So, I figured out his work phone number and started politely giving everyone who called or texted the correct number to call. To note, he was not very high in the company, and the number I gave out was for someone who was. Eventually after years of it those calls stopped as well. I guess it’s time to get a new jerk using my number.
Be extremely careful with this. Its one thing to name Danny boy himself – but naming the company is playing chicken with a company who might be able to out-pay you in lawyers fees. I’d keep any rumors about the company just wacky enough to be conceivably jokes, just so you don’t have them incur any loss of income based on a rumor you start & set yourself up in a bad way.
These are people he’s already brushed off, I don’t think he’ll notice.
Have you considered putting call divert on to go to either the reception or the most important person you can get a direct line for at his company? Then just let any number you don’t recognise get diverted.
Ideally his boss chews him out, or hopefully he changes his fake number once it is no longer effective
I’d get his real number and give it out to everyone
Just make appointments to see them at his work
New outgoing voicemail message:
Hi, you’ve reached Dan’s voicemail. If this is law enforcement, process servers or involving the pending litigation or paternity suits, please reach out to my attorneys. If this is Steve from Miami, make an appointment with the clinic ASAP!
When I was young I asked a girl her number at a concert And she said I wouldn’t believe her if she gave it to me and it was something like 588-8888 … The very real phone number for her father’s home business lol
A person I knew in college purposely chose the phone number 382-5968 for his land line because people would give it out as a fake number to someone hitting on them.
I had a similar problem, but not a bad one. A realtor in town had the same number as I do and would reverse 2 numbers in the prefix, reversing 68 to 86 while all the rest of the numbers were the same. Finally, after getting lots of calls, I found who he was and let him know. He said he was dyslexic and did that a lot, sorry! He was really nice so any time I got one of his clients I gave them the correct number.
Since you have his info, I’m sure you could find his current work number. Why not just tell people his number changed and give them his actual number. Seems that would be the best revenge.
Omg the same exact thing for me… someone named David who apparently likes to invest uses my number. I get 3-5 calls a week and it’s been 7 years.
I love this!!! Bravo.
Yeah. Hey Robert, pay your damn bills or don’t give creditors my phone number.
Oh man, I wish I could figure out something similar to tell the debt collectors that constantly call me looking for “Leonora”…. My number has never been her number yet I get multiple calls a day for her.
Recently a real estate agent has also started using my number, I’ve been getting daily automated calls asking to confirm showings for a property she’s listed.. I’ve started hitting the number that cancels the showing appointment. 🙃
Tell you want to talk to them about a car warranty.
If it is for insurance or some legal office calling, tell them he died. Eventually that will make things a mess for him trying to convince the government or whoever that “I’m not dead!” and maybe he will stop giving out your number.,
screw Dan…
My Dad’s old phone number was one digit off on the phone keypad from a local volleyball bar. Girls were constantly calling around 7:30PM-10PM asking if their boyfriend was there.
At first Dad would tell them it’s a wrong number, but many of these girls just wouldn’t listen. They INSISTED that Dad was just covering for their boyfriend and yell at him.
Finally Dad started saying, “Oh, sure, he’s here but he’s busy talking to Cheryl” or whatever random girl name he could think of at that moment, e.g. Donna, Michelle, Caroline, Angelique, name it.
He could hear the jealous girls on the phone absolutely blowing up with rage, demanding that the boyfriend be put on the line IMMEDIATELY, but Dad just said, “Sorry we’re really busy right now” and hung up.
Who knows how many girls went storming over to that place looking for their boyfriends hoping to catch him cheating with Cherise or whoever.
Our COA has a number like that: it ends in “something thousand,” and we get a lot of wrong calls on the voicemail.