How do old people who are single and not much family nearby continue to live gracefully and humanely until their last breath? There must be some ways to make this kind of existence dignified and not desperate, I believe.
How do old people who are single and not much family nearby continue to live gracefully and humanely until their last breath? There must be some ways to make this kind of existence dignified and not desperate, I believe.
Comments
Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X or older (born 1980 or before). See this post, the rules, and the sidebar for details. Thank you for your submission, Frequently_Abroad_00.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Exercise, work n talk to neighbors
Really could not care less what happens after I’m dead.
You need friends.
Be a good neighbor. Make friends with other people and check in each other. Or live in a 55+ community and do likewise.
I’m only in my 40s and have a spouse but I have thought about this, as I am an only child and not that close to my cousins/ extended family, and all my close friends live in other countries — that if I end up a widow (which is a common scenario for women), I would probably try to move somewhere close to one of my close friends, maybe even move in together if they are in a similar situation.
My wife and I live apart, happily, in a great relationship. We send a good morning text. If no response after a few hours we call. If no answer we go to the house to check on each other.
You could do this with a trusted friend or family member. Takes barely a minute out of your daily routine.
My Mom had a lifeline button she wore, it gave all of us peace of mind. I also spoke to her each day, so I knew her schedule.
Regular phone contact with children.
Apple Watch so I can call for help, or it can, if I fall.
Life Vac for if I’m choking.
I am much more careful doing regular activities: use the handrail on the stairs every time, even though I am perfectly steady.
There are free check-in apps you can subscribe to, that will alert someone if you missed your regular check in.
Disaster can befall you whether you’re alone or in a crowd; I don’t dwell on it.
Nothing.
Once my wife and brother are gone it’s going to be me and the dogs. Some day will my last walk. It will probably be a few years before anyone really notices.
I use the check-in app Snug and it will contact my nephew if I don’t check in daily. I use the free version and it works well.
I have been living by myself since decades, but I have a lot of neighbors who are like family to me, if not more than that. I am perfectly healthy and if I get sick, they do take care of me. About dying, my biggest fear is that I my loved ones will miss me, considering how much they love me.
I have an AI agent running that acts as a dead mans switch
My aunt would text my cousin every night and say good night. That’s it. No text would mean that my cousin would call one of her brothers. They would be headed over to the apartment and check on her within the hour.
I’m a 72 year old retired widower with family about 90 minutes away. I get a ‘checking in’ text daily from one of them; my 3 kids, 2 grandkids, their spouses and now even my great-granddaughter. They will call me up if I don’t respond quickly to the text.
The town’s senior citizens center also has a ‘morning phone chain’ started by a very, VERY annoying overly cheerful woman who 55 years ago was the head cheerleader and high school senior class president. If you don’t answer her phone chain the police come knocking for a wellness check. I’m now on a first name basis with all the cops.
My emergency contact checks in with me if she hasn’t heard from me in three days
We’re in our mid fifties, but my grandmother used to open her front drapes every morning around the same time to let the neighbors know she was awake and ok. Would it help in an emergency? No, but it would avoid being left for weeks with no one knowing you were dead, too. It also would help if she had fallen but wasn’t near a phone.
I’m in good health (fortunately), but if I suddenly died at home it could easily be several days before anyone would find me. My best friend and I live hundreds of miles apart, but talk on the phone 4-5 days/week. She wouldn’t be alarmed if she couldn’t get in touch with me for a day or two, but she would request a wellness check if it was much longer than that. My son lives ~15 miles away and we’re also very close, but we can go a week or so without being in contact. I just wouldn’t want him to be the one who finds my carcass.
In Australia you can get the Red Cross to call you every day to check in and they also provide an emergency button that’s worn around the neck. I’m guessing other countries do similar things for elderly people.
Friends and neighbors.
Get out and do stuff with other people. Not only does it give one’s day and week structure after retirement, it means there are people who will notice if you’re missing or even if you seem a bit off from your usual self. Take a community college course for 55+ers, get a regular volunteer gig at an animal shelter, food bank, library, or similar place. Sign up for a hobby group that meets regularly. I’m remarried now, but the years I was single after my first spouse died, having community band rehearsals to go to every week was part of what kept me going and what gave me friends who cared about me, as did belonging to an interest club that met monthly. Depending on one’s tastes, that could be anything from a walking group to a charity knitting group to a model train club. People form strong friendships over mutual interests like that.
the snug app has you check in each day. so you won’t be dead more than a day if that gives you comfort
my mom and her friends call each other daily to check in.
Single male at 73 with a multitude of medical problems.
I have no family or friends left. I don’t even know my neighbors name. This is as planned except loosing my family.
Friends/neighbors, but I also use the Snug app which will notify my sister if I don’t wake up….
I have ALEXA in every room, if I’m conscious I can ask it to call someone, for example if I broke my hip. My kids call daily and know the combination to my locks and the phone numbers of nearby friends and relatives.
Eh, that’s someone else’s problem, I’m dead
My sister is single and I was concerned about her living alone after my mom died she had been with momma all her life . But she’s thriving. She has several friends who also live alone and they all call and check on each other .also her neighbors look out for her
My grandma died 40 years ago. She lived in a senior citizens high rise. The crafty women (including my grandma) crocheted around the rubber rings used for canning jars (bc functional doesn’t have to be ugly). Residents hung the rings on their door handles each night, took them in each morning. I know we have more sophisticated ways to monitor elders now, still I think fondly of this. The residents took care of each other so they could live gracefully.
I think I’ll be ok until the end. None of my ancestors going back 4 generations lingered. My basic plan is to die on the toilet. All my bills are set to autopay from a fund which is sufficient to last 30 years. I’m sure I’ll be discovered after 3 or 4 years but who knows? Could be a lot longer
At some point, if I lose my husband, I’ll get an emergency button. I don’t have family, don’t know my neighbours, and my friends live in another part of the country.
A rich social life is the biggest indicator of a long and happy life…
I’d be found when the rent is due lol.
When it’s your time then it’s your time.