TLDR: i am in a 7 year relationship that is feeling very disconnected, not sure if it’s salvageable with some sort of work or if we’re toast.
I (24nb) have been with my partner (25m) for close to 7years now. We moved in together at about 9 months in and have been in a relatively happy and healthy relationship since. A relationship with communication and respect, one that i have always been proud of.
We’ve had struggles, mainly stress (usually financial) and mental health issues on both sides.
But the past year or so we’ve really started growing apart and feeling disconnected. He doesnt seem to think it’s as much of an issue and is at a point in his mental health where when i ask how he is or what he needs from me it’s always “i dont know what to say”.
I dont really know what to do at this point. i am in therapy but he refuses to go himself or together, which he definitely needs.
I’ve asked for it to be worked on for so long with minimal progress, and while i love him and really really WANT it to work, im getting tired of just waiting for it to get better.
So my question is: once you get deep into a long term relationship and start to feel disconnected, is it already too late? Or is it possible to “fix” it and make it feel whole again?
Comments
Very few problems in a relationship (outside of clear violations of trust e.g. cheating) are unfixable, but both partners need to agree on what they are and commit to working on them together.
If he doesn’t want to go to couple’s counseling, that’s certainly not helpful. If you can have an open dialogue about what’s not working and what you can do to work on it, that would help. It’s going to take work no matter what.