One for my Canadian peeps: Quebec and Alberta are soulmates

Quebec and Alberta are Canada’s grumpy divorced parents who secretly still love each other but communicate exclusively through passive-aggressive press releases. On paper, they’re opposites: one listens to indie French folk music and writes poetry in cafes; the other rides a horse to a Tim Hortons drive-thru while muttering about pipelines. And yet—somehow—they’re soulmates.

Both believe they’re the main character in the Canadian narrative and that everyone else is stealing their lunch money. Quebec is like, “We’re unique and poetic and keep this country interesting!” while Alberta’s shouting, “We PAY for your uniqueness with OIL MONEY!” Cue dramatic eye-rolls on both sides.

But deep down? Same vibe. Same existential rage. Same suspicion that Ontario is the teacher’s pet. They both want independence but panic when anyone suggests they go no-contact with Ottawa. They’re like two raccoons in different dumpsters—yelling at the same moon, mad about the same garbage.

And they complement each other perfectly. Quebec brings cheese, wine, and centuries of brooding existentialism. Alberta brings beef, beer, and the ability to rebuild a shed using only spite. Quebec will write a love song about the land; Alberta will buy the land and drill a well on it. It works.

Together, they are the spicy-sweet combo no one asked for but Canada absolutely needs. A chaotic love story built on resentment, pride, and mutual loathing of federal bureaucracy. Adorable.