For many years she was always the only single/childless one in the friend group and I know from our conversations that was hard on her. She married her husband in the summer of 2022. They got pregnant fast and had their oldest daughter nine months after the wedding. Four months later, she told me they were already expecting again and that it was planned, at one point telling me she knew her reproduction clock was ticking and she knew she’d have to make up for lost time.
Their 1st/2nd daughters are 11 months apart. They had a third girl in January making 2/3 just over 11 months apart as well. So she birthed three babies in the span of 22 months. She’s recently announced her fourth pregnancy, currently about three months along. I am at a loss for words. The first three (and so far the current one) have all been smooth sailing according to her but I can’t imagine this is good for her body long term. Quite honestly, I’m all shocked how fertile she still is! She credits having a younger husband (he’s 28), but from my understanding, one partner having high fertility doesn’t offset the others low fertility so I’m guessing they are both just super fertile?
Everything has seemingly worked out well for her, their babies are healthy, no notable issues during pregnancy, she’s been able to have natural births with all three so far. I can’t imagine this lasting though if they continue at such a rapid rate and really do worry for her. I’ve read stories about the damage having Irish twins can do to a woman’s body and she’s on her 4th in a row now.
I’ve thought about bringing my concerns up in a nice way but feel like that wouldn’t be the right move. She’s truly joyful in this current season of life she’s in and I don’t want to make her scared or feel bad but I also don’t want to lose her to a freak health incident. Really conflicted here.
Comments
Maybe the conversation will happen organically after this one. I would assume your concern wouldn’t make her terminate so what would be the point?
Have a high-school classmate that had 13 last I heard but that was 15 years ago. Could easily have had another 10 before aging biology starts interfering.
If your friend is happy and her body is handling it well I think you should just be happy for her
Women who had children live longer then women who didn’t , has to be like atleast one year apart from pregnancies but if she is healthy and the babies are healthy i see no problem
Mind your own buisness.If she is happy,it shouldn’t bother you.
It’s not your body, not your concern, and not your family either.
Honestly, mind your business. If there’s a problem, her doctor will say something. What will your words do?
There’s a family in the UK that has 22 kids. 1 mum 1 dad. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
Jeez, Talk about jealous. I think your friend needs to find a new friend.
Don’t tell me you’re the same age as her? You’ve got 40 years ahead of you to moan and moan about nothing.
Sad!
Mind your own business I say this respectfully, she is a grown woman at 40, and fully capable of deciding if she wants a whole bunch of children. If she is happy, be happy for her.
I appreciate that you are worried for your friend, but as someone who got married mid 30s and is about to have my 3rd baby in three years (and wants a 4th), I think you need to assume your friend knows the risks and has decided to create the family she wants anyway. She has doctors, she has the internet, she doesn’t need you to weigh in. My husband and I both want four children and unfortunately we didn’t meet until later in life. So far, we’ve been incredibly lucky to get pregnant easily and have healthy and happy babies. I’m healthy too, and even if this is taking some hidden toll on my body, it’s worth it to me to have this wonderful family that for so long I could only dream of. I’m well educated, I have a successful career, and I’m capable of making my own decisions without needing the opinion of potentially well meaning but slightly judgmental sounding friends such as yourself.
If the kids r well looked after and they are happy .. I see no problem … my cousins grandparents had 20 kids .. 1 of my mates has 9 kids .. and there is nothing wrong with her .. I have 4 kids .. had Irish twins.. wish her well huni .. I had my last child at 39 .. I get where your friend is coming from
Are you her doctor? If not mind your business.
How often do you go up to pregnant women? Tell them it might not be good for them to keep having babies. I really don’t think it’s your business to get involved and maybe have a nice conversation with her if necessary but if she wants to keep having babies that is on her and if it becomes medically unwise Doctors will tell her that I’m not sure why you’re trying to get so involved in her life so deeply. Her reproduction health is only her business, not yours.
I’m operating on the assumption that she’s not squatting in a cave to give birth here, so forgive me if I’m wrong. But I feel like her OBGYN + perinatologist have told her all of the possible complications having four back to back pregnancies bring on board and she’s made that choice with this information in mind. You sharing your concerns would be.. selfish. You’d be doing it to make YOURSELF feel better, at best. So my advice would be to stay in your lane. Support your friend through her goals of being a mom. Celebrate her victories. Mourn her losses. Yanno, be a good friend. Not so much a selfish one.
And just for funsies. Yes, your friend is considered more fertile than most of her peers. Her young husband has nothing to do with it. Woman have a difficult time getting pregnant at middle age due to a decreased amount of viable eggs. We’re born with all the eggs will ever have. Egg you was inside your grandmother when she was pregnant with your mom. We lose roughly thirty of our eggs every single day. So by thirty-five / forty we have a lot less eggs than we did at twenty-five and our bodies aren’t so great at maturing them anymore. The limited amount of eggs women in that age bracket can mature tend to be genetically.. wonky. Wonky eggs don’t like to develop well, if at all.
4 babies is not an unusual number
It sounds like you’re jealous
WTF would this be your concern in any way? Legit this was NORMAL for 3000 years of recent human history
Jesus Christ people are fucking busybodies
Both of my grandmothers had 9 kids in like 13-14 years….
What is bringing it up going to do? It’s not like she’s going to have an abortion.
I don’t get it…Are you jealous? Overly nosy? Discontent in some way with your own life? Unless there are signs of abuse or lack of reasonable proper medical care or proper childcare, what she does really isn’t your business. She can go to her doctor for health advice… Unless there are clear signs of abuse/harm/neglect etc it’s really none of your business at all in any way l. It’s normal for people to have kids at am older age, her life, her choice. She certainly doesn’t need you asking reddit for advice about her health and life choices – worry more about your own life and less about this person’s life.
Tbf, this is absolutely nothing to do with you. They’re obviously planning their family as they see fit. She’s presumably under medical care whilst being pregnant and I’ve no doubt her obstetrician will be informing her of any problems.
Some women are just lucky enough to birth kids like shelling peas, sounds like your friend is one of them even though she’s a late starter
I dont understand why this is of concern to you. You aren’t carrying, birthing, raising, or supporting her, her husband, or their children. If she has/will have health concerns related to her close pregnancies, this is her Dr’s place to have a conversation with her, not you. You honestly seem like you are jealous or bitter that she has gone from the friend without children to happily married with a family. Leave her alone and keep your opinions to yourself.
It is awesome that you are concerned because you love her. But honestly she has doctors who can tell her if it is a problem. And also, at 39 she does not have a lot of time to have more kids. Just like you were accepting of her childless years, you should be supportive of her choices now. Again, if her body is getting pregnant, she will have doctors to watch for concerns and sometimes it is just what she wants. But your concern shows you care for her deeply and that is very important for a good friend.
You need to mind your business.