It’s been over a month since the only man I have ever been with broke up with me. We were childhood sweethearts. I am 33f and single for the first time as an adult. I don’t plan on dating for a while but I am curious what it’s all like now, is it all apps and stuff? Any advice?
Only been with one man
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It’s crazy from what my single friends say. A lot of those apps are about hump and dump. Which could be a good thing depending on what you want. I suggest you get used to being single, then start dipping the toe at like bars and just talk. But if you’re looking for experience with no strings, attach there’s a plethora of that out there, just one app away. Good luck, but get used to being single first because there’s a lot of manipulation out there today.
You could just go out with some friends and attend events and places where you could might new people. Now a days there is alot of sneaky stuff going on online. Dating apps does not give you a good idea of who you are truly meeting. Again this is just advice.
I just went through something similar. Get comfortable loving yourself and your solitude. If you need a friend to chat, I like to talk. 30M
Take extra caution when seeking. Tons of stds etc going around. If you wanted to meet someone worth talking to, try to do fun activities like rock climbing, art classes, whatever you are into and try to talk to the men there. Going to bars usually end up in hook ups and it’s usually a no go unless u wanted to slut around and live that lifestyle but I wouldn’t recommend it but again, you do you
I’m sorry to hear that you have gone through a break up. I’m a 34F and left a relationship after 10 years. It was hard at first to adjust but it’s been 2 years and single life is fun. It’s nice to do your own thing, meet up with friends/family and pick up a new hobby. I haven’t put myself out there yet to work through things but I’ve heard there are singles Meet Up groups for people in their 30s and speed dating. Those might be worth exploring if the idea of meeting up with someone on a dating app feels like too much pressure. If you are not ready to date, could I suggest an app like Bumble BFF where you could meet up with people with your interest as friends. It’s a way to dip your toe in with less pressure
What is unique about u and not unique about u. U tell me
Message me I’ll give you some advice if you want
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
You’ll be fine. Take your time. Focus on yourself. Dating is a numbers game. Take stock from your last relationship on what are dealbreakers and what you want. Be ready for rejection, disappointment, excitement, and jealousy. That’s all part of the game.
Honestly the apps suck and have ruined dating.
36F married for 8 years, divorced three years ago. I would definitely suggest working on being happy single and healing, counseling can be very useful even if you don’t think you need it. I got into a relationship two and a half years after my divorce and a bunch of problems came out that I didn’t know were problems until I was in a relationship. Mostly trust issues from my marriage. But I was in a very dysfunctional marriage and it’s still going to require more healing. If your relationship was fairly healthy it might not take as long. Also dating sucks. It took two and a half years of using dating apps off and on before I found a relationship, and it failed after 7 months. Most men our age don’t truly want relationships or commitment even if they say they do, a lot of men our age have accumulated varying degrees of trauma and men tend to cope with trauma by being angry and/or emotionally unavailable so be careful.
if they do want a relationship they tend to be much pickier than when they were younger. Either that or they’re desperate and they’ll jump into a relationship with the first woman who wants one, but that’s pretty rare. If you eventually are looking for something with commitment like I was, talk to a guy for at least a week or two before meeting him in person, it not longer. Get to know him. Some guys aren’t willing to do that, it shows they don’t take you seriously. A lot of guys say they want a relationship but all you get from them is Fwb or similar. My solution to this was to not have sex until a guy committed to me.
You need time to heal and to educate yourself on men and the dating world as it is today. It is a brutal, hollow, user culture and it’s very difficult to find a good person unless you know EXACTLY what you’re looking for and where best to find them. But you’re going to want to show up as the best version of you at the very start of this dating journey.
Fill your head with Manifestelle, Shera7, Jade Shinu (if you’re into some woowoo), Pretty Girl Discernment, some Princella the Queenmaker, the list goes on. If you don’t know much about attachment styles then I would strongly suggest getting some books on that.
Glow. The fuck. UP. Get into your best self. Do not allow yourself to mope. Have fun with your new found freedom!
However, personally, I would stay away from dating apps. The lowest of the low are on there looking to mess your life up because theirs is a mess and they want company in their misery. Shera7 teaches you how to go out and put yourself in a power position regarding meeting the kind of man you want or at least where he’s more likely to be. Drink this advice in and really sit and think about it all before you go out there.
At the first sign of a red flag, leave. Don’t be afraid to cut men off dead if they start talking about sex quickly unless that’s what you want. BE PICKY. Know your worth and protect yourself and your heart at all costs. Don’t give men the benefit of the doubt. NEVER give a man money… I could go on and on and on.
Get excited, this is going to be a really thrilling time and you’re going to have some of the most exciting feelings of your life! Just never forget to have your barriers up until you meet someone who is really going to meet your same level and provide what you want. Good luck!
After a split you need to heal and learn to be a whole healthy person instead of half of a couple. Please do not date until you have had time. Rebound relationships are a nightmare and never last.