its about orgasms.
context:
my bf (25F) and I (24F) are LDR and we are both going to have sex for the first time. but the problems are..
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i dont moan and I feel like its the only green signal for him
– ive masturbated but quietly and with no volume on videos because i didnt want to get caught at home, so i conditioned myself to have my eyes open and lips shut. my bf and i have briefly touched and cuddled each other, but i acted like a stone and also overthought that he might not like me. so how do i undo this? Dx how do i give him green signals when we try it to together? because i am very much in love with him and interested -
when i masturbated, ive only had clitoral and no vaginal. so im scared to as how it will feel and if i will even have any when i do it with him. this will sound funny, but i used a back massager with a different tip to help me feel a vaginal orgasm.. and it didn’t work. i did get slimey and my eyes teared up when i tried to push against the massager when it was slightly in (its a small tip, not one of those toys). then i used a carrot thinking maybe it needs to be deeper, last time (months ago) i tried this … i bled a little… and when i tried recently (it kinda hurt, maybe i was aiming back and not up or forward or … I HAVE NO IDEA). and this was only the skinnier part of the carrot cause i dont think the thicker part would have gone in at all.
sorry for the tmi but im just lost and worried our first time will not be as exciting as we are hoping it to be, or if .. i end up having to act, which is even more horrible coz im not so good at it.
any help? T_T
Comments
Just try the thing. It will probably be underwhelming anyways. Lots of pressure and expectations can be hard to meet. Have him start with you so you’re more ready.
Don’t worry about it so much, you don’t need to be perfect in it
Bleeding in the first time is normal
Communication is EXTREMELY important. Talk to him, tell him what you think and everything you wrote here. Good couples get through things together.
The first time for both of you isn’t going to be amazing and it shouldn’t be. It’ll be awkward and quick. Just go with it and learn together. Don’t worry about an orgasm just be together
Practice makes perfect. Have a lot of sex and it’ll slowly get better.
Start with fingers
Have you ever tried masturbating when you’re home alone, just letting yourself go, thinking only about the physical sensations to see whether any moans would come naturally?
Have you talked to him about what you’re afraid of?
There are many other ways you can show him you like it, if the moans just don’t come naturally to you. You can kiss him, you can touch him everywhere, you can be on top (that would probably be best to begin with since you are more likely to be in pain and it would be better, if you could control the depth and the speed). You could tell him how much you like it or whisper it in his ear. You could show him through your facial expression. You could hold him close to you. You could wrap your legs around him (but I’d suggest starting with handjob and oral). You could grab his ass and push his dick against your pussy. You could dig your nails into his back (not too much). You could tell him what else you want to do with him, how much you can’t wait to do it again, what you liked about it, what you like about him…You can initiate the whole thing.
You two can stimulate your clit while you’re going for penetration. Most women need clit stimulation to orgasm.
You should never use any objects (body parts are something else) that are not clean sex toys that you do not share with anyone for this.
It doesn’t need to be deeper. The most sensitive part is right at the beginning.
I suggest not concerning yourselves with orgasms at all, just enjoy and explore. Not having any is not a failure, you know?
At first I thought “Ooh, a biology question! What organisms did you wanna learn about…. Oh, ORGASMS. MY B.”