Location: Pennsylvania
Our 16yo child (only child) is in-patient at a mental hospital (filters prevent me from saying why). Diagnosis has been all over including ODD, DMDD, CD, and more. This is not the first time, there is a four-year history – over a dozen in-patient stays and two residentials – with two discharges (one each) due to aggression. We have tried everything from partial treatment (going half-day to group therapy), individual therapy, family therapy, and of course trying several different medications.
We are hoping that a residential treatment facility will accept our child; however, they have all declined in the past. While our child claims to be fine now, it is definitely not true.
Sorry I can’t give details as when I do the post is declined/removed 🙁
My question is, if in-patient discharges our child and we refuse to pick up, what can we expect to happen?
Comments
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You should definitely expect to be contacted by CPS.
Edit to add: CPS involvement could end up being helpful for you, ideally. They may have easier access to resources, including residential treatment. But I’d consider reaching out to them and to the facility’s social worker (I’m sure you’re already in touch with them) instead of waiting to be reported.
You could be criminally charged with child abandonment. If you are truly unable to take care of your child then there is a procedure to turn your child over to the state. You should contact a family law attorney.
As someone who has worked in a children/adolescent psych hospital in PA, they won’t release him without a guardian. If the parents refuse to pick him up, they’ll contact child protective services, which could an investigation against the parents, and the child being placed into foster care.
First off, as a parent of a teen who has similar issues, I very much feel for you. He’s ADHD/DMDD/ODD with narcisism and currently stable on 400mg of seroquel and 100mg of lamictal, but has been inpatient I think 6 times now, as well as three sets of domestic violence charges from assaulting me and mom. We alternate between being happy he’s currently doing well, and counting the days until “I’m leaving the day I turn 18”. He thinks he’s getting a full-ride scholarship for track with a C- average and two missed HS seasons due to academic and conduct suspensions from extracurriculars. Or be “specops” in the military, who won’t take him with his diagnosis and current medications.
If you don’t pick him up, the treatment facility *will* call Child Protective Services. How they handle it is up to their policies and procedures, but you’re anywhere from “CPS puts them in temporary foster care until they figure it out” to “police show up at your door and arrest you for child abandonment”, which is a felony in PA.
I’m sure everyone at every facility you’ve been too has told you about programs and services that are available, and if you’re anything like us you don’t qualify for any of them because you’re not on Medicaid. We reached out to NAMI and were able to find more resources that the hospital was able to provide. Their helpline is below.
NAMI HelpLine | National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
I know this is not necessarily the sub for this type of answer, but residential treatment is not so much who will take your child but what you can pay for. If you have tens of thousands each month you can find something residential. If you’re on Medicaid, you’re probably pretty screwed and can basically only have them committed when deemed a threat to himself or others.
It might feel hopeless and there are so many failings in this society for families like yours. But, assuming your child continues to need support into adulthood, each treatment that you try and fail is important documentation for future SSDI claims.
I have a family member whose issues began at a young age, but at 26 got on permanents disability because there had been such a record from youth. It’s not a plus to be dealing with this, but even when there isn’t an immediate outcome, there is some positive of each step.
I’d also recommend the family groups within NAMI. I’ll add a link