There are certain, unbreakable rules in life. You don’t mess with a new mom. You especially don’t mess with a new mom who is in the middle of a terrifying, complicated birth. And you ABSOLUTELY do not, under any circumstances, tell that terrified new mom that you can’t be there for her… because your all-inclusive vacation is just too good to leave.
One 52-year-old dad on Reddit is currently in the “Find Out” phase of this exact scenario, and he is just baffled as to why his daughter has put him and his wife in permanent emotional time-out.
Our story starts with the narrator and his wife, six days into a two-week, all-year-in-the-planning, saved-up-all-their-money vacation in lovely Cancun. This trip was, as he notes, paid for before his 26-year-old daughter was even pregnant. This is their time.
But, as babies often do, this one decided to ignore the carefully laid plans. The daughter, whose due date wasn’t for another few weeks, went into labor. Early.
The first call came from the daughter’s boyfriend, saying she was giving birth and that they “had to get on the next plane ride home.” The dad’s response? “Impossible.” He told the frantic, first-time father to just “follow their birthing plan”—a phrase that has literally never been helpful—and keep them updated.
A few hours later, the daughter calls. This is call number two. She’s scared. It’s her first baby, it’s taking longer than expected, and she “really wanted us to be here.” This is the primal “I’m scared and I need my mom” call.
And what did our vacationing parents do? They “assured her everything would be fine” but that they were “unable to just pack up and go.” Translation: “Sucks to be you, honey, but these margaritas aren’t going to drink themselves.” She got upset and hung up.
Then comes the call that should have changed everything. In the middle of the night, they missed it. It was from the boyfriend. “Complications.” “Emergency C-section.” These are the two most terrifying phrases a person in labor can possibly hear.
The next morning, they called back. And the daughter, who is now post-surgery and a new mom, is (justifiably) livid. She told them she was scared, “things could’ve went bad,” and that their “Cancun trip was more important to us then her.”
And… I mean… where is the lie?
The baby is healthy, and the daughter is okay. But the relationship is not. The parents are back home now, and their daughter has “barely spoke to us.” They have only seen their first grandchild… on Facebook. This is a level of “you are dead to me” that is hard to come back from.
But here is the part that truly sends me. The dad still doesn’t get it. He feels his daughter is being “too harsh.” And he’s got a whole list of “logical” justifications for why they were right to stay on the beach.
First: The trip was expensive. (So? Your daughter was being cut open.) Second: Even if they left, they “wouldn’t make it back on time.” (You try. You get on a plane. You show up 12 hours late, sleep-deprived, and holding a teddy bear. You show up.) Third: “Even if we did make it back we couldn’t do anything the doctors couldn’t.”
I am screaming. This is the worst take in the history of takes. You’re not her surgeon, you’re her dad. You’re not supposed to scrub in; you’re supposed to hold her hand, or at the very least, pace the d*mn hallway!
So, is he the ahole? Yes. Yes, he is. He’s not an ahole for being on vacation. He’s not an ahole for the baby coming early. He is the ahole for getting the “emergency C-section” call and deciding the back half of his vacation was still the priority.
This isn’t a “harsh” daughter; this is a daughter who just learned, in the most terrifying moment of her life, exactly where she ranks. And it’s somewhere below the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I think the daughter needs to chill everything worked out fine and holding it against her parents is immature and she’s only hurting herself her baby and the family. I don’t think the parents were wrong in anyway.
Gesh. Daughter. Grow the f up.
I think the daughter needs to grow up….
Patents have their own lives you know.
Father has valid reasons. She sounds spoiled and entied. This generation Right? can’t expect them to just stop drop and roll out when they had paid for plans all ready. Maybe it was their anniversary or something, . though a c section is serious. She was fine. Toughen up, can u imagine. the audacity.
Anything after 18 is gravy.
If she is old enough to be a mother she should be able to deal with the fact that she is an adult and needs to adult! To expect her parents to rush home from vacation is not reasonable! If I were the parents in this scenario I probably would rush home, but my daughter would not demand that I do so! I was in the delivery room when my grandson was born and it was the most amazing day of my life!
I have always lived far away from my parents, my ex husband was in the military when I gave birth to my daughters. I had medical issues and dealt with them on my own, without my parents flying out to hold my hand. I think it’s time for the daughter to grow up. She is a mom now!