I (24M) have been with my partner (24F) for almost 4 years. Both of us have careers, pay our own bills and have our own living spaces. By the time the baby will be born, i’ll be making close to $90,000 and she’ll be making close to $50,000 along with finishing her program that will pay for her grad school. And we both aren’t in the prime of our career yet. Recently we both announced to our parents we were expecting a baby. Her parents couldn’t be more excited as this is their first grandchild and they are eager. Meanwhile, my parents don’t believe its the “right time” and its going to effect our career and we wont recover from it until we’re almost 40-50. Personally, I believe they dont want us to have a baby because it doesn’t fit into their “plan” which is manipulative and coercive.
Recently i’ve been getting texts as the one below concerning the whole situation
“Maybe you should Pray over your situation, as God has a way of making you look at things from an overall perspective and just not based on what sounds good, is right now in the moment, or the easiest to do. Also, you start to realize that the people that really care about you are the one’s that will tell you how it really is or perceived without a motive.
Decisions are long lasting and you have to use your intelligence and not emotions sometimes to make the right decision.
Your Mom and I have previously taken pride in your work ethic and thinking you were strategizing and navigating and building for future success but decisions being made lately severely contradicts those thoughts .
Many have been in the situation that both of you are in right now and are still recovering and will never reach their full potential.
Bright futures fade quickly with poor decisions not thought out in detail.
As someone who has watched you develop until the current day I am truly and sincerely concerned about
1.). You standing up for self
— A real man can voice his opinion in a decision that needs to be made and simply does not go along with the program if it effects them—
2.) You taking ownership
3.) Your future”
Idk if im overreacting or not but it feels manipulative and coercive.
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Ignore your parents. Have your baby, and raise your child and enjoy your life.
So…your parents are religious yet they don’t want to believe that your baby is the product of God’s Will? Suspicious.
Raising a child isn’t necessarily easy but it sounds like you both are in good places.
Stand up for yourself. Tell your parents exactly what you’re thinking, like an adult.
Then tell them to back the fuck up and to keep their opinions to themselves.
You and your partner sound like you have your act together. Congratulations on your baby! Go live your best life and enjoy your new family.
From the perspective of a woman also; she is excited about a baby, her parents are excited about a baby. Are you gonna throw 4 years away and destroy this women’s heart by telling her you don’t want it now, because of your PARENTS?? Sir, this should not be an internet question, this should be you protecting your partner and your future child, even from your parents.
What are they implying,? You somehow have the sole power over your partner, to force her to end the pregnancy? You are both adults, ignore their manipulation, and seriously consider they will need to earn the title of grandparents. I.e. no info on pregnancy, delivery or baby, once it arrives
That is infuriating, manipulative and honestly using God in there to pray about an abortion is horrendous.
Man up and be the father your baby deserves. You have your own family now. Cut the apron strings.
How exactly do they expect you to get rid of a baby you aren’t carrying? Do they expect you to force the person you love to abort a wanted and loved baby, or just abandon them after it’s here?
Why do they think its your decision, OP?
Because the person who decides whether to keep the baby is the pregnant one.
It feels coercive and manipulative because it is. How truly awful. Seriously. I would pull way back from them.
Tell your parents the baby is a gift from God and that you pray for your girlfriend to have a healthy pregnancy and birth! The Good Lord has already blessed both of you and decided this is your path in life!
I’d be suddenly unavailable to see or talk to them, for most of the time, from now on. You’re 24. You mentioned their “plan” for your life. But it’s YOUR life, you get to make plans, not them!
See how they act after the baby is born, then decide how involved you want to let them be in his/her life.
P.S. Your partner may decide she doesn’t want them at the hospital when she has the baby. See how she feels, and support her decision. She may need you to run interference for her.
Also: Your parents might try speaking with your partner if they feel you aren’t listening to them. So be prepared for that.
You get 1 life. Most success is based off of the family you were born into. Nothing else. Those who have more success try to claim they are deserving, they earned it, to excuse why they have success others can never achieve.
It’s been shown that the more comfortable someone is, their true selves come out. So, a poor person actually is more likely to be giving and altruistic, while a person of means is more likely to say something like “If you only did what I’ve done, you’d be just as successful.”
That isn’t true. Plus, the moment you hit a certain point in struggling, it’s been proven its unlikely you will ever financially recover.
They’re spewing toxicity based on this element of “if you don’t do this, that’s why you will fail.”
You get one life. Your journey is yours, not theirs. Yes, they’re being manipulative and controlling. More, they’re being elitist.
Keep baby.
Yeet parents.
As a parent, my adult children get to make their own choices. Heck, I let my teens make medical decisions because it was their bodies. Your parents have no say in the matter. Tell them they can either stuff it or get gone.
Baby comes first.
this is absolutely out of line.
when people show you who they are…believe them. keep your distance and do not share much by the way of personal details of your life.
congratulations! having a baby is the most amazing journey!!
reading between the lines, i would say your parents don’t like your fiancee/ baby mama.
is she from a different ethnic group, socio-economic class, something?
I am 100% a proponent of body autonomy, but you and your partner seem happy with the timing. You are young but not babies, you are yourself in your career and your partner is heading to grad, school, which may (or may not) be a very flexible workplace for a pregnant woman (at least the hours are typically more flexible).
I am sorry your parents are ruining this moment for you! I would just not entertain any discussion, since they are being disrespectful to you and your partner as autonomous adults.
Your life, your rules. The only people whose opinions actually matter are yourself and your partner’s, and as long as you both feel secure enough to start a family, everybody else can take a long walk off a short pier
“Take ownership” by shutting down this conversation. Tell your parents your decision is made and you aren’t listening or responding to anything more on the subject of not having the baby.
Wait until they want to witness the birth. Or try to force you to get baby baptized.
Oh boy, you need to tell them to stop. You are an adult,making your own decisions.
They can get on board or get lost.
Ignore your parents. Congratulations!!!
So you have been smart and they are proud of you up to now, but since you don’t agree with them now you’re suddenly an idiot? I agree with part of it, its your life and you should stand up for yourself and gf by telling them to fuck all the way off. NOR
Text back “God told me not to listen to people who write one’s instead of ones. Good thing you didn’t write the Bible. See ya never.”
The Bible I believe does not actually address abortion.
“We did pray over it, and God told us to keep the baby, we’re so blessed!”
I’m just curious – you two live completely separate lives, and now that you’re having a baby together, you intend to continue that way?
Obviously, unless she miscarries, she’s having this baby. Is there any chance of the two of you moving in together and getting married and raising the kid in a two-parent household?
Ignore them. Don’t tell the mother of the child anything about what they said. Sometime down the road, you will understand what drove them to say the things that they have said.
Don’t get anyone else pregnant, until you want to have another child.
A real man can stand up for himself but not to you?
Trust God? But God created a baby should we trust his plan?
I’m not super religious but that’s what I would say. They are being very hypocritical and manipulative.
Tell them you’ve copied and stored their abortion recommendation messages and when they go to court for grandparents’ rights or their best friends contact you or your child wants to know why they aren’t part of his/her life, you can just produce their messages. Very efficient to put it in writing. Thanks, Dad!
Make sure you make a will and provide documentation they declined to be part of the child’s life before it even was born. No access.
Wow… your parents are manipulative, you are not overreacting to that at all.
This is you and your partner’s decision- plain and simple. You’re having a baby, you’re excited and happy about it, it’s good news. Enjoy your new baby- honestly, the years when my kids were little were great years, and I had my first at your age. This is your life, not theirs. Enjoy it!
Ironically I think your parents are exactly right about taking a look at your relationships in general and questioning the motives of the people around you, except than in this case it sounds like your parents are the ones with an agenda nd who aren’t necessarily good influences in your life.
As often happens with manipulative and self centered people. they are projecting their own motives onto your partner and her family.
I’d think hard about how much participation you want them to have in your life going forward.
This is sincerely the most manipulative text I have EVER seen. And I work with mental health so… that says a lot. He did not attack you, did not make you feel like it was his opinion, did not attack the girl. He was just cold and manipulative. Used religion, sucess ideals, he is good. Maybe pathologically good. I wonder if he is a narcissist..
Your parents are control freaks, they should be happy for you.
You are grown adults. Stop listening to your parents when they’re wrong.
Good Lord, it’s not like you are a couple of 16-year-olds. They are being creepy and gross. I think it is seriously time to go no-contact, until after the baby is born.
They’re right about how this will absolutely affect both of your futures. It simply will. In a year you’ll know what I mean.
That said? Your parents are horrible people for pretending to read ‘god’s’ mind. It’s evil to pretend to channel the thoughts of the Almighty. I’m an atheist, and this disgusts me to no end: using their deity to manipulate their child to do what they want.
I would keep them at arm’s length at least until the baby is walking and pooping. Then drop off all the diapers because your parents are as full of shit as that truckload of pampers will be.
Are they speaking from regret?
Do they regret not getting rid of their own?
Yikes
Are they speaking out of fear?
It is a crazy time globally to raise a child. I get it if it’s coming from here but…
It’s never been and never will be a perfect time.
You two kids go have that baby and do for it a wonderful life.
Tell them quite literally to back off or you will block them. How dare they prioritize their opinions over a human life.
I would text them back and say, “Okay, here’s me standing up for myself. Stop trying to convince us to abort a wanted baby, or you won’t get to have a relationship with them once their born. She and I have made this decision together, and that’s all that matters.”
Uhhh I mean she’s already pregnant right? The decision has clearly been made, y’all are happy about this right? I’d avoid talking to them about it anymore. They’ve made it clear they aren’t excited and don’t think it’s a good idea. So what do they want? An abortion? To adopt it to someone else? Ignore them, enjoy your life with your beautiful new family. Having a child isn’t going to kill your career.
Congratulations ❤️ lean into the in laws, they’re excited, I’m sure they’ll be happy to support in your parents’ absence.
“Thanks Mum, I’ve prayed, and God has confirmed we’re doing the right thing”
There’s never a perfect time to have a baby, but being in a 4-year commited relationship with a $130k annual income from careers at 24 is about the perfect time.
Your parents are either nuts or there is something other reason they aren’t stating (like they hate your partner or something). I’d ignore them, you’re a grown up and can make grown up decisions.
You gotta shut them down. Just tell them that while I respect your input, we have decided to raise the baby. Period. No longer up for debate. Got to set boundaries.
What I took from this is they don’t like your girlfriend and don’t want you to build a future with her.
Also, you mentioned in another comment that yall had an abortion before and this was unplanned. I would strongly suggest figuring out a reliable birth control plan after she delivers. Pull out method isn’t an option.
Their objection looks nonsensical to me. What is even their problem? Envy that financial support that should (in their minds) be going to them in their golden years is going to the baby instead? Upset that you’re having a child out of wedlock? I don’t buy that they’re being honest with career concerns…this is the optimal time to have kids if anything because you’ve settled into a career and are still young so you have the energy to easily handle the children that you wouldn’t if you were a decade older. Whatever it is, yes, they’re being manipulative.
Your an adult so their input is not important if you don’t want it to be. They have a point that you might struggle with a career etc unless you can pay for childcare but it’s still your decision to make. And if you want a baby then you might not worry about all that.
I think I would respond with “although I appreciate that this may make you feel less able to brag about my success in life, I don’t think I need to kill my baby, your grandchild, to boost your ego about your son’s success. But don’t worry as this won’t affect your life at all. You will never meet the child you want me to kill”.
Congratulations Dad.
You sound like you want this, you sound like your ready. You got this, as much as anyone at least.
don’t ever trust your parents to babysit
It doesn’t sound manipulative for parents to try to give a different perspective. It would be manipulative if there were ulterior motives. Maybe they’re not saying what they really want to say (like whether they think your current partner is the right fit for raising children). I’d be more upset that they’re not being completely straightforward in their feedback.
Having kids is tough and it only continues to get tougher with time. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for parents to be a dissenting voice in a life-changing decision/moment. They just have different values than your partner’s parents.
So while you have every right to be upset that your parents are not as supportive as you’d hope about building a family, it’s not really manipulation to hope that your career-driven son has really thought long and hard about the implications of having children at a relatively young age.
See I’d tell my parents that I was going to print their text messages and show them to your kid 😂
Please don’t tell your partner if you haven’t already, it will forever taint whatever relationship there is in the future with your parents.
They are awful for their attitude
So your parents, who invoke God, want your wife to have an abortion? I would make it clear it’s none of their business, and if they continue to berate you and your wife about it you will no longer have contact with them.
The phrase your father used in his text about “A real man would…” grates like fingernails on the blackboard. Not so subtle insult and manipulation. From reading your post, you are mature, sensible, planning your future – and every bit a Real Man.
You and your partner sound like you have a great relationship and a very bright future, and will enjoy the support of your In-laws.
growing a beautiful life together and welcoming a child into a loving, stable family is such a blessing. congratulations!! watching my daughter become a mom has been the highlight of being a grandparent for me. shame on them for not being supportive and even more so for going out of their way to manipulate and try to control you. i would probably go no contact/minimal contact and just focus on the life you’re building with your family. good luck, op!!
Ignore your parents!! Have that baby! You’ve got this! You both sound more qualified financially to have one than most people!
Also using God as a manipulation tactic is wild considering the Christian community considers abortion as a sin 🫠
Sounds like OP’s parents want him to make as much money as possible so that he can take care of them in the future.
I’d just say right now “Keep in mind, I plan on giving you zero money and not taking care of you when you are older, so if you want me to abort my future child for your own financial benefit, that would not work because you are receiving no benefit from me in either case”
How interesting. It sounds to me like your parents think “they know better” somehow about how your life is supposed to be progressing and are so stuck in their own heads that they can’t see the forest for the trees. They believe this is a detour in your life and they are worried about it to the point of trying to be this coercive. I guess if you were 15 it would be a different thing but you are 24 and have a career, etc, so I don’t get it at all. Their logic is just………….WEIRD!
Try not to let their disapproval get to you. Keep moving forward. They are just going to have to get used to it. This is so odd, especially coming from religious people!
It’s never the right time to have a baby. So that means all times are the right time to have a baby. Enjoy being a parent and congrats on all you success so far.
It feels like they aren’t ready to be grandparents and also that it is coming from the mother.
I’m so sorry that they have sullied your amazing news.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
Seems like they have plans for your money and you making your own family is cutting into the paycheque they were going to take from you.
So your parents are upset because you’re having a baby while in a financially well supported and hopefully emotionally stable relationship? Oh no, God forbid!
Just a though have they become hung up on the idea of you getting married, or is it an issue with your partner?
Either way, they might be right, as a man with self determination you should totally stand up for yourself and tell them to back off. Uno reverse them 😂
You and your wife are making as much at the beginning of your careers as my husband and I do now in ours, both in our late 40s in supervisory roles. We also live in a HCOL area. We are comfortable.
You’re gonna be fine.
Your parents are being terrible. Tell them to stop or you’ll block them.
Almost sounds like mom and dad are pushing OP to make sure he makes as much money as possible because he’s their retirement plan….
Do your parents expect you to support them when they take early retirement? Cause that is what is sounds like. Good Luck with your baby!
You’re an adult. Your parents don’t have a vote in this very serious situation. Your partner has the legal right to decide.
4 year long relationship and combined income over 100k? Honey you are so much more prepared than the VAST majority of people who have kids. 24 isn’t even that young, but even if you think it is, I think you both being as stable as you seem more than makes up for that.
Also, it’s a bit rich for your parents to be so worried about YOUR career – statistically, it’s your wife’s career that is likely to suffer, not yours – men with kids are seen as MORE responsible and reliable than single men, whereas women are the opposite – and even that’s not a huge issue unless she is planning on taking years off of work.
Sorry your folks are jerks.
We had our first baby at 24. She’s 11 now and we are doing fine financially, don’t feel like we have missed out on anything and are happy we aren’t having kids at 35.
Good luck with your family!
They are giving you bad advice, if you follow it you will regret if for the rest of your life (long after they are gone).
If they persist and pressure you, go no-contact. If they don’t want to be grandparents, they shouldn’t be.
You’re right, dad; I need to stand up for myself. So I’m standing up for myself and telling you to back off. I do not want, need, or plan to go along with your program. I have my own goals for my future.
Thank you for expressing your concern with straightforward clarity and candor. We will take it from here.
First, congrats!
Guarantee if you two were married they’d be over the moon.
Given how proud they are about your work ethic, they are probably concerned about what their friends will think about an unwed baby.
You two have it together better than most 24 year old parents.
Do what feels right for you and your partner.
The only way they might have a say is if you two are living with them and they are taking care of your living expenses. Which isn’t the case.
Congrats again!
Tell them you prayed. Tell them you heard the voice of god that said your child is a precious gift to be celebrated. Tell them god also warned against those who would interfere with his divine plan with selfish and evil motives.
Ignore ur parents. Support ur woman. Have ur baby absolutely. Thats very cold and unsupportive for them to not be happy for u and I’m sorry ur going thru that. They are wrong. Support your woman and have ur baby. God bless your family
OMG!! Do they think you are 14?
Expect nothing less when the baby is born. These people will not be as involved and won’t offer to babysit or anything. Fine. Their loss.
But come on dad. You’re a dad now. Make the executive decision for your new family to place firm boundaries and protect your wife and shield her from stress. X
Lol at the standing up for yourself – only if you agree with them.
I would go low or no contact for the moment. The baby is already on its way, it’s not hypothetical.
Very manipulative and controlling parents
“Since you mentioned God, he wants us to have this baby. He wants you to have faith in my decisions for my life.”
What exactly do they think you should do? Abortion? Give the baby up? Regardless, it’s about what the two of you want.
I know a younger couple who had a baby while she was in medical school, and they have done just fine
Ignore and go no contact if needed. Whoever text that garbage is simply low key trying to take credit for any future accomplishments that you will ever have. Sorry dude. Babies change a lot of people, but one thing babies are absolutely phenomenal at is separating you from garbage people in your life. That includes relatives.
Lol what a weird message.
Tell them if the baby makes them uncomfortable you won’t mention it again.
Then stop responding for at least 2 years.
Congrats on your little one! I hope everything goes smoothly and your new teammate brings you all the joy!
It’s repulsive! Please don’t give their BS a second thought. Move on with your partner and your beautiful baby. Building a family, like you’re doing, will bring infinitely more happiness & meaning to your life than a job ever could.
Congratulations!
Your parents have no power over your life. I got married at 22 and had a child by 24, with another on the way at 27. Our life is awesome. I would not give your parents access to your child. Going low or no contact would be a good strategy because they sound like wicked people. I’m guessing they have some sort of financial authority over you with a trust, college fund or inheritance, so you may have to limp the relationship along unless you want to be cut from them completely. Your baby’s other set of grandparents can be the primary ones in your kid’s life either way.
Congratulations on the baby! You’re adults, don’t make decisions based on what your parents want; they don’t have to live with your choice. My guess is, the baby comes and your parents fall in love…happily ever after.
You want the baby, your girlfriend wants the baby, you can afford the baby, her parents are supportive. Congratulations! 🎉Your parents will come onboard eventually (I hope.)
Good heavens, yes! “A real man”? So manipulative! Never mind way out of their lane! You’ll soon have a family of your own. Focus on them. They’ll need you.
A “real man” chooses HIS family first. His partner and he decide their future. It’s nice to have parents that have your back but it’s not necessary. You announced this news and they want you to terminate? Severe the ties. You have your own family now.
Ignore your parents, have your baby and enjoy your lives together.
What on earth are they suggesting that you pray to God to do???
Am I the only one getting seriously freaked out at the implications of this?
Are you kidding me??? Just have your baby.
Watch they will complain after the baby is born “oh how come you never let us see the baby??”
You mean the one you tried to convince me to get rid of???
The audacity
They’re worried about you standing up for yourself so they try to coerce you into letting them make your decisions for you? LOL, ignore
Yeah, having kids is hard. 24 is not too young. They are most likely just worried you are about to jump in the deep end. I hope they come around for you. It’s so much easier with grandparents’ help. Super crappy to play the weird pray about it card if you aren’t a practicing family. You are gonna be fine. Having kids at 24 means you will have heaps of energy. Good luck op. Congratulations. 🙂
Tell them you will pray to God to forgive them for the hate they are showing
Tell them to fuck off.
When my (now) husband and I got pregnant with our first we were 28 and 34, with goods job and he was asking my friends about rings.
His my greeted the news that we were engaged and expecting with “have you considered an abortion.” My mom said “I need a fireball” (cheap cinnamon whiskey) and hung up on us.
They cared more about the optics of “a pregnant bride” than our joy at starting our family.
Their behavior only got worse once babies arrived leafy g to currently being no contact with mine and low contact with mil.
WTF, are they trying to convince you that God wants y’all to abort? 👀
You make $90,000/yr. Your parents are aging. They don’t want to you have a child because your “extra” income won’t be nearly as much, having to pay for things for your child. This means less money to eventually spend on your parents when they retire.
They’re being selfish. Cut them off because you don’t deserve to be treated this way.
>I am truly and sincerely concerned about 1.). You standing up for self — A real man can voice his opinion in a decision that needs to be made and simply does not go along with the program if it effects them— 2.) You taking ownership 3.) Your future”
You use his words against him.
1.) Stand up to him and voice your opinion about this decision that you and your partner have made. Tell him that “a real man” doesn’t measure himself against his father’s dreams for him but his own dreams for his future.
2.) Take ownership of the situation. “Dad, we’re having this baby and I’m going to be the father I know I’m capable of being. I am not asking for your opinion on this, I am telling you what is going to happen.”
3.) Remind him that borrowing stress from tomorrow can shorten your lifespan. There are too many variables between now and “the future” to say for sure that you’d thrive no matter what today looks like. So, you should enjoy the time you’re afforded in the way that best suits you.
It sounds like your father has some issues, like maybe no emotions no empathy. Or they really don’t like your partner
Be a Real Man and tell your parents to stay out of your personal life, also remember this when they ask for help or to see this baby, they are cruel people
I think maybe you need to walk away from your wife and this child because obviously you cannot put them first and think more about what your parents opinions are then what is best for your wife and child? I see weekend only dad if that in your future if you continue on this path.
Give it a few days and then text them back. Tell them you’ve prayed on it for days and the direction you’ve been shown is one focused on this new loved one and separating from coercive powers in your life, at least for now. Then go LC with them and plan your future according to what you and your baby and baby-momma need and want.
My advice is look into grey rock for your mom, enjoy your little one, and maybe consider some therapy so you don’t pass any of this on. Congratulations!
I’ll not put too fine a point on this:
Your parents are assholes.
Tell your parents to go to hell.
Make sure you save all this garbage, as mentioned (screenshots and paper copies), so when they find out they have no access to your baby you can shove it in the face and give it to the court.
Your parents are assholes.
Bringing religion into this makes them extra-assholes. Funny how “God’s plan” only comes into play when it happens to suit their objectives too…
Go forth and have an amazing life with your wife and baby. You now know how NOT to be a parent.
How ironic. “I am standing up for myself, I want a child. You are pressuring me to decide otherwise. Either get on board, oh shut the hell up.”
The decision to have a baby is between your girlfriend and you. No one else.
Don’t let the family you’re born into get in the way of the family you made.
This was always going to happen between you and your parents. It could have been any big life change. This is the final step into manhood where you make the boundary and tell them they have no say in running your life. It can be as simple as “I appreciate your concern, but this is not your call. I would love your support, but if you can’t swing that I’ll take your silence. But criticism is off the table.” This will be a big dynamic shift for them. Give them a bit to catch up but eventually you will need to do what you have to for your immediate family – which is now your gf and the baby, not necessarily them.
Reply with #1 in mind-stand up for yourself,your girlfriend and your child and your life by telling them to butt out of your life.
Just for thought. Kids don’t need 2 sets of grandparents. I only ever had one and I never felt slighted. We were very close. Your parents sound like the worst kind of hypocrites. Bet when the baby is here, they will suddenly be A+ grandparents, you can’t keep their grandbaby away from them, they have rights! Please don’t subject your child to them. When you or your partner start to think about reconciliation, remember the things they said before baby was born. You, partner, baby and HER parents will make a great family.
Manipulative a F*#€! 🤬
Take your AH father’s advice and ownership of the situation…. Go NC with your AH parents! 😈
Congratulations on the baby 👍🏻
Hold up, let me check my understanding.
You and your wife announced that you’re expecting a baby and your father is telling you to abort it?
Then he tries Religious leverage and negs you about who you are as a person?
That there, that’s what happened?
Yes, that’s not only 100% manipulation but it’s frankly psychotic behavior.
After the kid is born, I do NOT recommend those Grandparents ever have the kid unsupervised and maybe never ever meet the kid.
Are you in a family / from a culture that assumes you’ll be taking care of your parents as they age?
In addition to whatever manipulation he’s doing, could it be money-related?
Could he be telling you to abort your child because there will be less resources for him and your Mom?
Sometimes our Blood Family is garbage, and I’m so damn sorry you’re dealing with that.
There is no such thing as a perfect time to have a baby. You can always find an excuse not to have one: need a better job, a bigger car, a bigger house, more savings, need to travel more, etc. You and your spouse are not teens. It will take some sacrifice, and it sounds like your in-laws are all in and will help out.
Likely your parents really think they are too young to be grandparents.
Enjoy this new journey into parenthood. Tell your parents you’re sorry that they will not be joining you in this part of your life. Your in-laws will be your child’s only grandparents. You wish them well, but you have to focus on the well-being of your wife and child now.
Maybe one day they will get over their stupid idea of being too young to be grandparents, but by then, will you really care?
“it feels manipulative and coercive.”
Probably because it is like a comic book version of a textbook on manipulation.
“Maybe you should Pray over your situation, as God has a way of making you look at things from an overall perspective and just not based on what sounds good,”
Okay, let’s just start here.
Your parents are invoking God to justify abortion. The God of Scripture makes it very clear that children are precious, to be protected and that there are severe consequences for harming them.
In what world would that God give you a sign to kill your child?
This is beyond common knowledge for anyone of Faith and probably 98% of those who are not.
Yet your parents want to spin God as pro-abortion to coerce you to do what they want.
“Decisions are long lasting and you have to use your intelligence and not emotions sometimes to make the right decision.”
Translation: ‘You’re not able to think correctly on your own so let us do it for you’
“Your Mom and I have previously taken pride in your work ethic and thinking you were strategizing and navigating and building for future success but decisions being made lately severely contradicts those thoughts .”
Parental blackmail, always a classic. ‘You want us to be proud of you don’t you?
“Many have been in the situation that both of you are in right now and are still recovering and will never reach their full potential. Bright futures fade quickly with poor decisions not thought out in detail.”
Oh, now we get peer pressure by proxy, and who is writing these texts? That last part sounds like it came straight off a fortune cookie.
“As someone who has watched you develop until the current day I am truly and sincerely concerned about
1.). You standing up for self — A real man can voice his opinion in a decision that needs to be made and simply does not go along with the program if it effects them— 2.) You taking ownership 3.) Your future””
Oh this last one is good, the last desperate attempt.
1.) We’ll start by impugning your manhood if you don’t see things like we do and question if you are ‘a real man’ unless you abdicate your decisions to us.
2.) Now we call in to question your integrity and maturity. ‘We’re concerned about you ability to take ownership of your life without us to do it for you.’
3.) the nebulous ‘concerned about your future’ Why?
Please tell your dad there is a special, very special place in hell for him, if he is trying to use words God and Pray in connection to killing your child, his grandchild.
You have absolutely perfect situation to have your baby and I wish you all love, success and happiness.
When your parents will want to spend time with their grandchild please remind them every single day how hard they tried to convince you to kill him/her. Haunt them every fucking day.
What exactly are they suggesting? That she get an abortion? What manly “decision” is he saying you should make?