Hello. I (25F) am in a relationship with a very nice man (21M). I was excited about the relationship when we first started two months ago, and though we have our faults and differences, it seemed like we were both active participants in wanting to work towards a healthy relationship.
But then he said something to me that recently upset me, and that was that “if you want to break up with me, please don’t say anything until November.” And at first I didn’t think much of it because I wasn’t quite interested in considering even breaking up until that question.
Since then, I can’t help but wonder if he was thinking of breaking up with me or if he thought I had some sort of malicious intent that didn’t even exist. I did try and ask him about it one time, only for him to shut down and not answer my questions. And when he did, it was a very vague answer that he said were related to previous bad experiences. This isn’t the first time he’s said that answer for more difficult topics, and I don’t want to push to bring up memories he’s not ready to confront.
I can’t tell if this is just my anxiety or not, but a part of me wants to know, “why would you request such a specific time to consider breaking up?”
What’s the best way to react to this? Is it just me overthinking it and being too pushy? Should I push for more conversation with him or is this a bad sign that our relationship might not be as stable as I initially believed?
TL:DR: Boyfriend said I can’t breakup with him until November when I had no intention of breaking up to start with.
Comments
It’s a weird request. I’m wondering if he’s gotten dumped by multiple girlfriends this time of year. Or if other bad events have happened in late summer/early fall and he doesn’t want to add one more to it.
Since you tried to ask before and he shut down, let him be the one to bring it up.
That’s weird!
Maybe he was buying concert tickets for October?