Soo as the title says, I was on the laptop looking for a password when I saw he had saved his OF account details. I don’t mind him watching porn, I do it too but I was curious who he subscribed to so I had a little peep.
It was a girl he went to high school with. I’m not sure how close they are/were but they grew up in a VERY small town. I know his mum has talked about her a few times and his best friends all wished her happy birthday recently so I’d say he knows her pretty well.
I feel so disgusted and disappointed in him. This has truly crossed a line I never even imagined I would have to draw!
I don’t know what to do with this information, I just keep thinking that if he would disrespect me in this way, what else has he done?
Comments
If you go snooping, remember, trust was already broken—the truth just made it loud.
Or will do, and not tell you.
Jeez, let him jerk it to his high school crush (spoken as a nb penis haver). He probably would be any way even if it’s just memories from the spank bank, so now she gets paid a few $, good for her.
I have no issue with porn, but when it becomes transactional I get the ick.
Someone he knows personally? Nope, WAY over the line. This would honestly be a deal breaker for me in my marriage.
It would be incredibly hurtful to me to find my partner watching an OF of someone he knew in real life. I would consider it cheating, this is very different from porn.
It’s one thing if he periodically thought of her through life but this is intentional. I’m sorry he doesn’t have better sexual discipline and boundaries.
Are you willing to still stay with him? Couldn’t be me
I’d be so uncomfortable
He’d be an ex for being on OF to begin with. I don’t mind porn but OF is sex work and way more personal. The fact he has subscribed to someone he knows is even worse – she knows he’s subscribed and dating you. I’d be weirded out in her shoes.
Yeah that’s a major red flag. How gross.
Can you see what else he is subscribing to? He might have more there, sadly.
He’s already crossed a line in my mind. I’d consider this cheating. Not everyone would, but you get to decide for yourself whether you’re OK with this or not.
I would find it incredibly disrespectful and hurtful. I don’t expect my partner not to watch porn or be attracted to anyone else, but it hits different when it’s someone they know or someone who is theoretically attainable. I’ve been through something similar, so I completely understand and I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this.
Minimally, a conversation needs to happen. I would explain why it’s hurtful to you and allow him to speak to his side of it (not that I think there is any acceptable reason). I personally wouldn’t want him having any interaction with the woman going forward, but you have to set your own boundary.