TLDR; My fiance has no emotional regulation and I’m wondering how to handle it.
Hi everyone.
I, 33F, have been with my fiancé 36M, for almost 10 years. In the entirety of our relationship, my partner has struggled with emotional regulation, and I’m questioning now if I should leave.
There’s so many examples I can give, but I’ll give the most recent.
He just recently started working in sales. His work schedule got messed up for a day, and he tried to change it, but work wouldn’t let him. He got angry and then walked into our room saying “My entire rhythm is messed up now. Why would they do this to me? Tomorrow’s gonna be a waste of my time.” He said all this while deep sighing, angrily raising his voice, and generally being what I’d call angry mopey.
The thing is, he’s talked for days about how changing his mindset has made such a difference in finding success at work, but then today one thing went wrong, and he’s now determined he’s gonna fail at his appointments tomorrow.
This is a pattern with him. One thing goes wrong and he gets mad, mopey, or just gives up. I then get frustrated and he’ll get mad at me and say he doesn’t know why I’m upset.
I love him, but the constant lack of emotional regulation and inability to manage difficult moments is making me question the relationship.
Sometimes I don’t know if he just has no emotional maturity, if I’m not patient enough, or if it’s something else.
Anyone have advice for handling an emotionally immature partner? Has anyone left simply because of this? Any encouragement?