Myself 33 female, and male 37
Looking for some guidance… or some honest truth so I can get out of this funk…
I met a guy years ago online, and at that time I was moving cities. We quickly jumped to just hooking up since we weren’t looking for anything serious…and I was leaving anyhow. I still always thought about the short times we had together. And he must of too, as he would reach out here and there. Years later – we still would flirt with one another on occasion or express physical attraction about one another- by text. Sadly I would even be in a relationship, and still fantasize about him. Going forward to recently, he reached out. Wanting to meet up and expressing genuine interest. I initiated days that I would be available, and he would reply a day later seemingly agreeing to plans- but no actual time or meeting spot. The day came and I cancelled- it was before noon and no plans initiated. So I felt he was flaking. And didn’t want to waste my day waiting.
4 days later he messaged me back saying he feels I’m busy (which I do have a wild schedule), and if we wanted to do just a casual thing he was open to that right now/ he has no patience for dating atm with trying to figure out his life. And to let him know… so I agreed. We met up, all these years later that night for a hook up. We chatted after for a while, and seemed to enjoy each others company. I felt nervous as I had been thinking about this for a long time. But soon warmed up, and wanted to just keep hanging out. Long story short… he messaged me after stating he had such a fun time and looking forward to the next. (By the way) Claims he hasn’t been in a relationship for 2 years. And asked me intense questions, which I felt I was a bit reserved about as I either didn’t know the answer/ if this is a hook up thing I didn’t want to disclose and get too personal. However,doesn’t text me after the meet up, only very short messages a day later from answering my reply. Perhaps he just wants to text when we can hook up ? I’ve been a wreck since the moment he messaged me, I feel not good enough, I catch myself crying. Maybe I’m not being honest with myself what I want from him. Or he just reeled me in, to throw me back out. Any advice on managing a hook up buddy/ expectations ? Or am I in too deep already for him to be just a fwb ?
TL;DR
Showed genuine interest. Concluded just being FWB, however he stated wasn’t opposed to something further if we felt good about it. Hooked up- I feel depressed after and not good enough for him . Doesn’t text often / show further interest. Should I cut it off ?