Total rant from a journal entry but if you guys have insight on this I’d be happy to read it. I’m sorry about how rambly it seems (+ sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language). Also, I am a 22F
I’m happy that i’ve been working more on living my life more intentionally. However, I’ve been getting increasingly more frustrated with all the people who don’t put in all this work to have a more deep and meaningful life, especially the men I know and know of. I feel annoyed that life seems so easy for them and, honnestly, I’ve had enough of patriarchy. i’m so angry to see that so many women have all these amazing qualities and yet, men always win : the promotions, the trials, the praise, etc. I’m so fed up with that system and there’s not much I can do
I feel like women try all the time to be better, from themselves and others, and men couldn’t give two shits about how mediocre they are. I want to be surrounded by comptent, emphatic, thoughful, intelligenet and cultivated men. How does this feel completely impossible when I know tons of women with even more qualities.
Men are so violent, egotistical and devoided of any empathy. They don’t even think of othe rpeople. And that makes me so sad because it genuinely makes the world a worse place and when I see all these women trying to make it a better one and fucking idiots ruining it for us all, I get furious. I want to live in a kind, empathetic and safe world.
I feel like we’ve completely fucked up as a society because we’ve authorised men to be this mediocre when there is a tremendous pressure put on women to always do better. For all the work that mowen put in, they deserve that men do the same. I am so fed up with having to deal with so much unfareness.
To clarify, before you write about it : I don’t hate men. I know it seems like it but I don’t think men are satan’s offspring. However, I feel like society has really allowed them to not care about anyone but themselves, not get better at anything ever, and when I see how much pressure is put on women to do so, it enrages me. Again, people will say “not all men”, and again, it’s not the point, because “yes, but somehow always men”. I won’t give you all the statistics that prove this, they’re everywhere.
Comments
You’re right, most men don’t try, and they still get rewarded. Women work harder and get less. It’s unfair, and it’s on men to fix it.
Where I come from it’s the opposite. Women get everything while men have to struggle and barely receive 50% of what they are gifted. My sister grew up like a princess while I grew up like a peasant. She had her own room, bathroom, always given money, taken on trips and cruises. I slept on a couch, clothes in a trash bag, taking birds baths everyday. I had to steal and work on chicken houses at 14 while she was sitting comfortably in a 5 bedroom brick house. She was gifted a car and I had to work 2 years for a 20 years old car. 2 women molested me and it was ME who got in trouble. My mom constantly chose drugs and men over taking care of her kids and she received help the whole time but my dad slipped up once and no one lets that down. Men get no help, no menta or emotional support, no one pushing them to do better then get talked down on because we aren’t as successful as the women even though they had INFINITE resources to help them succeed.
I can only speak to this as an American, outside of maybe 30 other countries this might not have much relevance.
Focus only on what you can change. You can change laws, you can change the type of content you consume, you can change the type of people you interact with, etc… only focus your attention on this fact and a solution will emerge if you’re that serious about the change.
> I feel annoyed that life seems so easy for men
Sister, life is tough all over. Us vs Them helps nobody.
It sucks. The world isn’t fair.
I try to use what advantages I have, and try to find people who are supportive of growth. Now that I’m mid 30s I also spend a lot of time trying to help younger women.
But yeah it sucks. Some men do work hard, and have overcome many obstacles, but most didn’t even grasp the extra dismissive and belittling that happens to women. Even the good ones don’t register it half the time. They see aggressive sexism, but not micro aggressions from their peers.
Try not to be too bitter, instead harness that energy towards finding a successful environment for yourself where you are happy.
Join the misandry side 😔✊
So you’re angry that men are happy the way they are without having to be strivers ?
Feeling this a lot lately lovely, I’m 29 and I have felt this way for a very long time.
I’ve given up dating as the last 2 years has been so bleak I got to the point where I genuinely believed I was unlovable. It took me a while to realize these men were cutting me off before they even got the chance to know more than my first name.
It’s very very rare you come across a man who provides empathy, an intelligent thought-provoking conversation, or has something positive to contribute to the conversation.
I’m constantly grieving the fact that I want men in my life. I want more men friends, I want more love in my life that INCLUDES MEN, not alienates them. But every time I reach out to extend a hand it’s slapped back in my face (metaphorically) so I’ve stopped trying.
If you can’t grow, then we leave you behind. That’s how it works. The older I get the more this whole movement of women entirely blocking men from their personal lives sounds more and more appealing.
At this point I want to foster a healthy group of women in my life that I no longer feel the need to have a relationship with a man in any context. It’s not what I WANT, but I feel like for my health it is what I need.
My entire life has been spent at the hands of violent men. First my father, then partners. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have been beaten by a man.
I’m really tired y’all, I don’t hate your gender, I promise, I’m just sad the majority are not willing to do better.
Sounds like you know the wrong men 🤷♂️
I think you’re correct that patriarchy has created this problem. When you look at all of the gurus for men, it isn’t hard to see why this is the result. Even something like journaling which can be such an incredibly introspective tool for deeper self awareness, has been co-opted as a means of creating more “success”. There is so much pressure on men to be a certain way, and deny the parts of them that don’t fit the ideal of masculinity which, ironically, they believe will make women desire them. Men need to create more spaces where men can feel comfortable being their true selves and still be accepted by other men, and gain the confidence to be their true selves around women. Try to be patient with them, and be the type of person who encourages the qualities that you want to see.
You are a misandrist
Yeah, my grandfather fought in WW2 and was far from perfect but was a strong, sturdy, hard working man who also managed to love and create music and art- and I see men today and think “would he approve of this guy?” and it’s a an astounding no, constantly. It’s like I have to sit down with his ghost and be like “listen, I get where you’re coming from but I’m running out of options.”
Your feelings are totally valid and it sucks that your living situations offers you this perspective on society. Just know that a lot of men, perhaps even most men feel like nothing they do is ever enough
I feel this. I absolutely cannot be bothered with dating any more. My last relationship was with a guy who expected me to do everything, including working fulltime and being the only breadwinner. It was nothing but a litany of excuses as to why he couldnt do anything except sit home, game and watch porn…and yet, when I threw him out, suddenly he was perfectly capable of getting a job.
My life got exponentially easier without him. I’ve yet to cross paths with any man who brings anything to the table that’s worth giving up the ease and peace of being alone for.
Been feeling this a lot since it’s so in your face esp in the US right now. It makes me loathe how much effort I put in in my past to attract men when honestly, they ain’t SHIT.
I get this despite being a man, it frustrates me to see women having to work extra hard for the same achievements. Then you have this new movement of guys who have convinced themselves that they are the ones being held back, that “boys can’t be boys anymore” um no we just don’t want you to act like scum of the earth.
I used to say, “I hate men” as a joke, an exaggeration, but I really mean it now. Whenever a woman is speaking to other women, about a problem women have, nearly all men will do one of two things, sometimes both. They will either jump in to explain how men have it worse, or that men deal with that too, or they will just completely shut down what the women are saying, invalidate experiences and tell us why we’re so wrong.
When they read/hear something women complain about they don’t sit with it and ponder it. They just ignore us, even as we’re screaming for help.
I don’t think men realize how much patriarchy hurts them too (I mean, even when they complain about problems men face it is linked back to patriarchy) and the shittier part is that I don’t think they even care to. They heat “feminism” and automatically think women want to be superior, but we’re out here fighting for them too and they do not care at all.
I guess, once again, it is up to women to cover, yet another, issue for them.
Also, just another, minor, rant… I will self destruct if I have to hear another self proclaimed “alpha” talk about how “high value” he is and ask “what women bring to the table”.
felt completely. it’s probably why I only interact with men I work with, am related to, or am dating. I have quite literally no desire to interact with them bc tbh.. it does nothing for me most of the time. The lack of empathy, immaturity, inability to communicate… ugh. I’m done. Not that women can’t be the same, but the difference is noticeable. Sorry
I’m not sorry. Men need to earn their place in my life, and it’s not even hard. Just be a decent person
As someone who’s AuDHD, I live in a world that never quite made sense to me—so I’ve learned to dissect patterns, emotions, and systems like my survival depends on it. And I gotta say… your post set off all kinds of alarms.
Yes, patriarchy is real. Yes, women are often forced to carry more than their share. But there’s a difference between being angry at the system and projecting that anger onto an entire gender—then calling it deep insight. What I’m reading here doesn’t sound like a demand for justice. It sounds like someone who’s hurt and looking for a neat target instead of doing the messy work of reflection.
You say you don’t hate men, but then immediately go on a rant about how they’re all violent, selfish, and mediocre. That’s not empowerment—that’s a coping mechanism. It’s a valid emotion, but it’s not a truth.
If you’re constantly surrounded by shallow, thoughtless men… that says something about your environment, your choices, or even your attraction patterns. And I’m saying that without shade—just the honesty I wish more people had told me when I was drowning in disappointment too.
You want a better world? Me too. But you can’t build it by reducing people to villains and statistics. You build it by being intentional, self-aware, and refusing to replicate the same emotional laziness you’re calling out.
Using my ex as an example, he had vile opinions such as “all men think about raping women, it’s just willpower that prevents it”. He was, unsurprisingly, awful to me on a mental/emotional level and he never felt bad about it. There was zero personal growth from when I first met him to when I finally blocked him. His idea of bettering himself was watching videos on how to become a high value man, so it was all about improving his physical appearance and his position in society. There was no introspection at any point.
Then on the flip side, I look at myself and my friends and the steps we’ve taken from our 20s to 30s. The changes made are largely mental, recognizing what causes us to react certain ways and how we may have hurt others and can avoid doing so going forward. That’s not to say that physical appearances haven’t improved too, but it does seem like some men are often only focused on the superficial things they can change rather than looking at the impact their actions can have on people.
What a ridiculous rant by a professional victim. You really think life is just magical for men out here? Yes, you do in fact, hate men.
I got hired for a logistics job a guy at my work gunned for. He obviously didn’t get it. For the past 8 months every day he has thrown a hissy fit about it, throwing shit around and cussing me out. I finally told Hr. THEY GAVE HIM A RAISE TO MY PAY RATE SO HE WOULD STOP COMPLAINING. I bet if I was throwing shit and cursing out employees I would have been walked out
I see where your coming from, and you’d be right that our current society indeed allows for men to be that way, but by supporting the stereotype that men are x and women are y, you are actively feeding into sexism, its not just that men and women should be equal, its that your gender shouldn’t define a preset of values and attributes.
I’m gonna get down voted for this, but a large part of the sexism and patriarchy in our society is that even in feminism, there are so many people that support this idea that men are inherently violent and unintelligent, and women are weak and can’t defend themselves. They say that they strive for equality but in the very same sentence uphold sexism. You cannot eraticate patriarchal ideology without getting rid of sexism, as it currently stands, any form of definition of character based on gender or sex is actively making things worse, I feel like we peaked in 2020 and started going downhill from there 🙁
Everything you’ve said is incredibly profound for your age. A lot of us have to get older to get hit hard with reality. It sucks but it’s important we keep speaking out so future generations can someday have the true equality we always hoped for ourselves.
You will find your tribe which will hold your soul and help you meld your relationship
Women have dating on easy mode compared to men. Maybe you just have bad taste in men and are repeating patterns.
Men are violent because we have to be. In dangerous situations, we’re expected to take the lead and always have to protect the women and children. To be a successful provider, in my experience, you have to be capable of a certain level of violence. The word will NEVER be 100% safe because there will always be predators out there looking for the next victim.
Depending on what field you are in as a man, they should always strive to be better. I’ve met plenty of mediocre women in my life.
Also to your point about men not caring about anyone else, why should we? One of the hardest lessons I had to learn growing up is that noone is coming to save you. We don’t get treated like women. Even women are guilty of using what men open up to them about against them. It’s not a gender thing, it’s a shitty people thing.
“Men are so violent, egotistical and devoided of any empathy. They don’t even think of othe rpeople”
So you’re saying you don’t like what you perceived to be prejudices in society but in your argument your just throwing a few of your own out there for good measure?
Hopefully you can see that ‘your prejudices = bad, my prejudices = good’ isn’t really moving forward a great deal
Hello. I’m a guy and just wanna share my insight. I consider myself mediocre, maybe even below average, but I don’t really feel like I get any benefits, I don’t feel powerful, praised, or privileged. Though I’m not american so maybe just a culture difference
Where I’m from males gotta serve as conscripts, so it disrupts careers, education, a lot of males face at lot of pressure and their mental health aren’t taken seriously. Because of this, women tend to be favoured a little more by employers because they don’t have the same disruptions and do not have to return as military reserves during their career. Some guys feel that there’s a bit of unfairness compared to women, and it gets voiced out a lot but ultimately not taken seriously
Anyway, sorry if this was a useless reply! I don’t really know what I was writing, but maybe you could have used the insight
Men always win?
Get on Instagram rn and there’s hundreds of thousands of women who have their life fully funded by desperate men on the internet.
More women who don’t work in relationships and have men fund their entire lifestyles.
Situations that 99% of the time don’t happen for men.
Not saying men don’t win alot but pretending like women don’t get a lot of shit handed to them because they’re pretty is insane
What always gets me is like 90% of the problems men face they could solve amongst themselves if they tried, and then they get angry at women for having it “good” when we only have things because we built the community and fight for each other. Only have to look at how feminist is viewed/used as an insult to see how society feels about that too… it’s like no matter what we can’t win. It will always be our fault even when we don’t have the power to make a difference.
I really, really try not to hate. But after being abused 3 times since a child all at the hands of men and being sexually assaulted multiple times, raped once, all by men. It’s really hard to try see the better
Obviously not all men, but still far too many men are, indeed, “ruining women’s lives.” In my personal life, I actually know a lot of decent-to-good men! However I still have to work or otherwise interact with other men who are exactly as you describe, and it is exhausting and disheartening.
You’re not crazy, OP. Just frustrated and I understand it well.
The good news is, the young “players” who treat women like crap and can’t commit will end up as old lonely creeps, getting mocked for trying to pull the old tricks that used to work in his 20’s, because he doesn’t understand he’s not cool anymore he’s an old loser who never grew up. The type who sits at a bar all cocky and hits on the waitress half his age and is made fun of because he thinks he’s still got that charm. OR the sadder outcome is if they do realize everyone else got their lives together and settle down with a woman who they’ve broken into their controlling and hateful behavior and both of them will live resentful and unhappy lives. He’s never going to feel like he won because he’ll be stewing in his resentment in his own household because the anger and spite just eats away.
Men literally designed our society to perpetuate this throughout the whole US history and it sucks! I use to seek male validation so much growing up since I was also taught that is a sign of success and higher self worth. I hated dating in my 20s. The guys were so selfish in bed (most only cared about their own self satisfaction and not female pleasure), they ghosted a ton and didn’t communicate where they were at or what they actually wanted. It got worse in my 30s now seeing my friends marry sht men(these are socially good men but I think they’re sht cause male standards are sh*t) and having families that the men also wanted so badly but of course they don’t show up consistently and don’t carry the mental load of caring for the home or babies so it’s mostly on the women. Then the women beg their husbands to help and that they shouldn’t have to tell them to help by washing the bottles, feeding times, not letting the baby watch football 24:7 and the dad actually plays and engages…. Oh and before kids, so many men who isolated their partners cause they wanted them to themselves or whatever. I will say I do have two friends with amazing outstanding men who are beautiful dads and truly partners to their wives. I would say they gave me hope on men. I also see so many young men getting into the dumb manosphere podcast celebs. It sucks cause we are going backwards as a society when it felt like there was movement towards empathy and safety in society and now it’s reverted back. It’s making me so mad seeing men say they are being discriminated against as a white male and basically trying to put themselves in the victim mode of women. I hope we will see the downfall of the patriarchy eventually. I also got so much gayer in my age and have no sympathy for men being upset about their power and comforts shifting anymore.
I agree that the way society is set up and socially engineered really sucks and many people do, in fact suck.
I’m feeling bad for those in their 20s, because 20 years ago it sucked a bit but people kept up social niceties, plus the internet was nothing near the beast of social media- which has done a lot of good yet also an extreme amount of damage.
Where it used to just be a debate more or less how feminism and the sexual revolution ruined the economy for forcing dual income, it’s now well beyond that and those pulling the strings have unfettered access into everyone’s FYP: Bull in a china shop!
The fact that so many 20- somethings realize this is distressing just because you should be looking forward to starting life! Now that life is increasingly bleak, but hey you all may have the desire to actually stand up and make the changes you want to live (people will fall in line behind you, the same way they stay ‘trapped’ in complacency)
I don’t say it idly. I know I’m on several lists and have even been brought in to court over some (nothing violent or against others) I just didn’t go loud enough to get any traction, but then no real social media at the time to gather any allies.
TLDR: They drain our time, our money & socially engineer so we stay in a box. Speak out about the changes you want online. People will join in with you, as many are disgruntled and now uncomfortable enough to act. It won’t change unless enough stand up & it only takes 1 or 2 to start the domino effect.
I don’t know if I should be sad that nearly all women who have had an influence on my life were toxic and abusive, or happy that the men I know aren’t all like the ones you described.
As a man. I know exactly where you are coming from and this is all very valid. I don’t really have anything deep or introspective to say here that you don’t already know. But I just want to say your frustration is valid.