I’m not too sure if I’m doing something wrong, but god, penetration hurts so much. I used to have a hymnal issue and couldn’t be pentrated with anything at all, and when it got snipped away I thought it’d be fine. When I got my period after that, I wore a tampon, but it kind of hurt to put in. I just put up with it since it wasn’t that bad, but I recently ordered a toy. It’s not big at all, and I used loads of lube, did it after two orgasms, but it burned pushing it in. It was so excruciating, it felt like I was on fire just popping it in. It went in, but it just hurt so much. I have a size bigger and I think I could get it in, but I’m too scared of the pain. Is this normal because I’m a virgin, should I be trying something differently?,
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See your OBGYN. Penetration should not be painful (or there wouldn’t be 8 billion of us walking around)
Look into vaginismus – it could be what you’re experiencing. And there are ways to help. I had it, and I’d say it took a few months for me (I was also a virgin), but I have a normal sex life with my partner now and have for the last 15 or so years.
I would talk to a doctor and do some reading around.
I hope you get the help you need.
I have pain with penetration. Pelvic floor physiotherapy is helpful in managing it. You may want to speak to your doctor about potential underlying causes, for me it was endometriosis. There’s many things that can cause a tight pelvic floor and result in pain with penetration though.
I’d also recommend seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist. My wife would experience pain. Turns out there was a muscle spasming. Felt like a pencil eraser just inside and to the left of the vaginal opening. Traveled to doctors 3 hours away to get sent to a physiotherapist 15 minutes away. Took some exercising and a few sessions but the problem mostly cleared up. At least when it reoccurred, we knew what was causing it and how to relieve it.
She went through the whole vaginismus dilator procedure with no success.
See a pelvic floor physio!
Read through r/vaginismus and r/vulvodynia
Something might be going wrong, but it doesn’t sound like you’re doing something wrong. Please don’t make yourself to blame for whatever is happening. Our bodies have lots of variability that the experts can help us improve, but it’s not your fault.
So I would start with thin bendy toys and SLOWLY work your way up in size. Being fully stimulated should help relax and open stuff up a bit.
Or if there’s something going on medically
1)is your uterus in a “normal” position or is it in a different position? If it’s not in the “normal “ position the angle you are going at may need to be altered to help with it. You could be hurting yourself even if it’s mildly.
2)how wet do you get without lube? (Not trying to be sexual just trying to see where your at and if I can offer advice) if you aren’t getting wet enough even with lube inserting it can burn bc your passing “dry” areas and it tugs on it.
3)what’s your past sexual experiences? We’re having sex before and it always hurt or did it start to hurt? Or were you not active with any form of penetration even with masterbating.
If this is the case your pelvic floor could just be tight or not used to things going in, this can be very common for women who wait till their mid 20s-30s to have sex or penetration. You have to slowly work your way up to it to get your body used to it. I HATE this saying esp on this topic but it is kind of relevant in a way but “if you don’t use it you lose it” is kinda what could be going on. dilation therapy might be a good start, which can go hand in hand with the first one-taking your time and starting out with something smaller/thinner
I would definitely consult your OB/GYN, but while dildos are great, they may not get you as aroused and prepared for penetration as human contact would. I have never been able to comfortably penetrate with a dildo.