People have really lost the sense to leave strangers alone. We were leaving each other alone and respecting each other’s bubbles during 2020-2023. So people didn’t have any reason to ask something or invade others personal bubble unless its of importance. But now people are acting stupid by going up to you randomly and asking something from you or straight up standing too close near you in a line in the store as if there isn’t something wrong. No excuse me or no sorry said. Men and women are both offenders of this. I don’t care who you are. Learn to leave strangers alone. And no I don’t care if we’re all human. We have wars and fights all the time so that reason is irrelevant.
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What?
Who took the jelly outta your doughnut?
I am curious if the OP’s idea of personal space is different than others. It is typically arm’s length. Do you just have really long arms?
People that complain about this type of stuff make society worse. Don’t be so asocial, it doesnt make you cool
“I don’t like that other people exist”. What makes you so special that you can’t be bothered to have a brief conversation with someone?
This is definitely a shift over the generations.
Older folk are definitely more into small talking with others
Sure, you don’t owe them your time.
But literally everyone in the world will think you’re an asocial asshole.
It sounds more like youre super awkward and instead of working on it, you’d rather people just ignore you so you don’t have to make a fool of yourself.
I wear a mask , gloves and cough lots when i feel antisocial. Works every time.
Everyone’s mentality has been reshaped by the mindset COVID-19 imposed. Survival guidelines rewired how we move through public life.
Think about it: breathing the same air as your neighbor could kill you. Microscopic droplets deadly.
Now, in a post-COVID world, fear lingers. Human contact, can we trust it? Is it safe?
Personal space? The idea of it is permanently altered.
Sometimes we want to be alone, sometimes with others. It’s healthy!
It’s important to read the room though and it seems a lot of people can’t do that. If someone seems to be in there vibe, respect that! If someone seems available to engage, go ahead.
Do you mean negative interpersonal reactions? Or just basic human interaction?
to sum up: 1. You shouldn’t engage others in public. 2. No noise. 3. No other people should actually even be present. 4. People can’t ever be offended.
by “telling” others to back up 6 ft (unreasonable) then you’re breaking your own guidelines for conduct.
And they owe nothing to you, either, btw. if asked i bet they’d comply. There are rude people, but the social contract exists for everyone.
Being in public is an invitation to be interacted with. Same as online. This is talking to strangers, just the same as irl. You have to accept people are social or stay home. You can’t expect the world to conform to the outliers.
And ask yourself why you feel more comfortable seeking social enhancement online than irl. And maybe work on that aspect of yourself! I get anxious too talking to strangers but the more I do it the easier it is. You got this 🥳
OP is an antisocial that doesn’t understand that a lot of people enjoy small talk and these meaningless interactions.
It’s not even about us all being human. We are social animals, and you are being weirdly hyper-individualistic.
I’m not sure, based on your responses, where you draw the line so I can’t say whether I agree.
Are you saying that people approach you and attempt to strike up small talk, and if you (reasonably politely) let them know that you aren’t interested by giving a short answer, moving away it even directly telling them that you aren’t interested in getting to know them, that they STILL try to insist on talking? Or respond with hostility? If that’s the case then, yeah, I agree with you that social people don’t have the right to demand conversations with people who are more asocial than themselves.
But if you are saying that nobody should approach anyone else because of the possibility that any given person could be someone like yourself, who probably represents less than 1% of people in regards to your sociability, then I don’t agree. And I’m sure if you thought it through you would realize that there isn’t any logic to this. It would be like saying nobody should put salt in food because I don’t like it and I shouldn’t have to risk getting unexpected salt when I eat out. Or temperatures should always be kept above 85°F because I get cold easily and I shouldn’t have to wear a sweater.
The Covid restrictions were a thing that were an extremely abnormal way for humans to live. Many people suffered badly from the isolation. It sounds like it was perfect for you but that doesn’t mean that it would make sense for everyone to adhere to it.
And, to be clear, I am quite an introvert myself. Mingling at parties and small talk with strangers is most definitely not my groove. And I have been in situations where people more social overstep. I’ve been on airplanes many times when the person next to me wants to chat. My first response is small smile, “Mhmm” and put my earbuds in (even if I’m not listening to anything). That fixes probably 90% of people who were looking to chat. If they do continue, even after that point, I’ll take my earbuds out, look at them without a smile and say “What?” And if it’s some inane attempt at small talk, I’ll give a very curt response followed by “I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind and am not up for a conversation” that will fix the remaining ~9%. Anyone still trying to insist is not deserving of any more consideration. (Disclaimer: Those percentages can obv be affected by how attractive one is, gender and alcohol involved)
But, in spite of my own preference to be left alone, I do realize that I am in the minority there and don’t hold it against others for not knowing that about me. If I expected everyone to behave the way that most suits ME, rather than what suits most people, it would come at a great cost to most other people so why would I want to inflict that?
Maybe settle on a simple phrase so you don’t have to struggle to explain – something like “I’m not up for a conversation right now, sorry” and just use that at the first approach when someone tries to speak to you. As for the amount of space, assuming there is plenty of room where you are (like not a subway car, or standing in line indoors somewhere with limited space), stepping away should be simple enough. If they then step closer to close the gap then yeah – that’s a little odd. Again, just pick a short phrase “Can you give me some space here? I’m feeling a little crowded?
So you want all of the benefits of a society, without any participation.
Humans are social creatures by nature. We need other people because it’s what has helped us survive as a species. Safety in numbers. We are not going to stop this innate trait, built into our dna, because you want to feel alone out in public. Where other people are.
I dont mind the random questions, although it’s weird and usually accompanied by a camera. I do mind that everyone is standing up my butt in the checkout line at the store or in a queue for something. Like yall dont need to be standing inches away from me, I shouldnt have to say sorry for elbowing you if Im trying to move my hair off my shoulders because youre RIGHT BEHIND ME. Like please, 3 steps away should be a social norm
It sounds like you’re built a bit different than the norm. And that’s ok for you. But it’s not typical and not ever going to be what society is built around because you are decidedly an outlier.
I agree that some people do seem to expect more from utter strangers than feels appropriate to me.
I wonder about your gender, OP, because as a woman -even though I’m social and generally open to interactions- I’ve been pushed into periods of somewhat feeling similar to you due to men in public feeling entitled to a conversation with me even after I’d politely brushed them off a few times. There are days when I go out and it feels like a zombie apocalypse of men trying to get some interaction with me. It takes 5 minutes of back and forth to dismiss one at the gas station and another immediately spawns at the dry cleaner pick up to physically block me from taking my things with a request to get my number. And you can’t ignore them because they might get mad. And you have to say everything nicely and correctly or else they might get mad. And some are respectful when I say I’m married. And some ask “oh but are you happily married?” or even “I don’t believe you’re married. I’ve seen you here half a dozen times and never with a man! You must wear that ring just to keep guys from bothering you! I know it!”. And some say they don’t give a shit that I’m married because they just want to be my friend and “doesn’t my husband let me have friends???”. And you have to be just the right amount of cold so they don’t misinterpret any warmth as interest, but just the right amount of civil and deferent so they don’t potentially fucking kill you. And the whole thing can sometimes make me feel like it should be fucking illegal to approach strangers because what the hell.
But then I calm down. And I remember the sweet conversation I had with an old woman in line at the pharmacy, or I remember the time I got my boyfriend a job because I spoke to a nice older man who complimented my backpack, or the time a teenaged boy asked me to show him how to crochet while we were both waiting at the DMV. and I value those interactions more (sometimes only slightly more lol) than I hate the other ones. BUT if you are someone who truly doesn’t EVER derive joy from interacting with strangers -especially if you’re also someone who gets approached a lot for whatever reason- I can see how it could all feel horrible and not worth it at all.
I do hope you find some peace in a world that is obviously not made for you.
Shut up
Me: Hood up, headphones on, resting bitch face
Every tourist ever: Hi, how do I get to blah blah blah
I just got of work and want to go home in peace!
People feel so entitled these days. The Golden Rule hasn’t changed; people have, and not necessarily for the better it seems.
You antisocial people are so weird. Why do you want to be so miserable?
I don’t have people just walking up to me but yes some people are far too comfortable standing weirdly close in line. Not really a recent issue though, always been that way
Umm isolation as a norm is a sure fire way for society to collapse.
There is a reason humans thrive in communities – being able to have a cordial conversation with a stranger or acquaintance is normal.
Take this upvote.
i am sorry but this sounds absolutely miserable… i think it’s important for people to be acknowledged if they are out, because god knows how many of them go home feeling completely alone
“He’s nice, bit of a Close Talker.”
In countries like Finland it’s rude to bother other people.
https://www.instagram.com/her_finland/reel/DKq4fjZooIo/
If next post I see from this sub is about loneliness, you owe me 300 Rubles, OP
I can sort of empathize. When im at the grocery store or the gas station, its usually after a long day at work and im exhausted. I just want to get in, get what I need, and go home to unwind. It takes physical restraint to not visibly or verbally express my frustrations when random people try to have a whole conversation with me while im in line, or browsing for my groceries.
Unfortunately, social etiquette means I have to smile politely, engage, and accept the social-hostage situation ive found myself in. I also live in a small town, so I have to remind myself that being rude, dismissive or ignoring people can have actual social consequences.
It sucks being an introvert in a world built to accommodate extroverts, but it pays to grit your teeth and bear it.
I want to add noise pollution too.
Mom of 2, I have consent for my kids to be in my space and being loud around ME….. Others did not.
I teach my kids to respect others personal spaces and that means noise too.
Now, I’m a sarcastic AH… So typically I get looks then laughs….
Ex #1…. Empty aisle at Walmart, kids running up and down, being loud. IDC….. A woman then turns into the aisle….i IMMEDIATELY yell “Hey!! I have concave for you to bother me, she didn’t. Respect that”….. They both apologized to the woman and came running and stayed within 6 feet of my cart, noise level instantly down.
The lady laughed…. Said they’re ok…..I said, I’m glad they weren’t bugging you. Thanks for understanding. She said….they’re kids, yeah they normally bug me but other parents don’t care, you’ve raised some very respectful kids…..I laughed and said…. thanks but don’t let em fool ya, they’re wild when there’s no witnesses!!!
How close should people stand in a line, then?
Redditors: muh male loneliness epidemic!
Also redditors: never talk to your coworkers, girls aren’t real, small talk is for npcs, why would you hold the door for anyone you don’t owe them anything, block them and go no contact instead of using your words to say how you’re feeling
If yall weren’t so thirsty for being distilled down to nothing more than worker bee and a consumer id assume this was all some sort of super-long-con psyop
OP is like I hate how people act entitled and then outlines how he believes everyone should act in society lol. Almost like he’s being kinda entitled
I swear in 10 years people like this will never leave their homes ever. They are just that socially stunted even the tiniest amount of actual human interaction sends them spinning out. It is just sad.
From one asocial A hole to the next. Just lean in to it. Don’t try to moralizing it or anything.
I don’t like interacting with strangers in public any more than you do, but I know if everyone acted like me the world would suck. I also know the world isn’t going to change to fit my preference.
It takes almost zero effort to politely end a unwanted conversation. What are you doing in line that so important you need total silence?!
There is nothing wrong with polite conversation. Something like “ I can’t believe it’s been raining the last three days” as opposed to “ When was the last time you had sex and was it with someone who you know or a stranger?” A very big difference!
Never lived in NYC? You kinda have to talk to people. Its nice youre in a community
This sounds like crippling isolationism and narcissism mixed into one big bag of fuck
i am pretty antisocial and socially awkward myself and also wouldn’t want to be bothered by strangers for no reason and also wouldn’t do so myself definitely, though at the same time i wish there was some kind of way to know whether a stranger is ok with talking or not, so that at the times i do kinda wanna approach someone for any random reason, i would actually be able to do so, instead of feeling to anxious to. like if everyone just wore a badge that they could change throughout the day saying “(not) open to interaction with strangers” lol
It’s a mixed bag. I enjoy most interactions with strangers, but the thing with people standing too close is true. It’s like people lack a sense of personal space. People will literally be breath in on your neck they are so close.
I too like to be left alone but I realize that the majority of people aren’t like that. Some days I might be in a good mood feeling a little chatty but most days I just want to go about my day in peace. I don’t waste time hinting at shit I’m just honest. Someone standing too close in line I just turn and ask them to give me a little more space. Someone strikes up a conversation. “You seem nice but I really don’t feel like having a conversation right now.” Some people seem a little offended but most people respect the honesty. I’m also a guy so I realize I have the privilege of being able to do this. I feel bad for women that get harassed constantly.
This is how you discredit western liberalism, by following it to the ultimate conclusion of absolute insane levels of individualism and framing even harmless activities like momentarily interacting with someone in public as actions needing prior informed consent.
This is a laughable extreme and absolutely will make normal people ridicule and reject liberal ideology. The extreme edges of modern American progressivism are becoming absurd.
We were doing it because there was a global pandemic. It wasn’t meant to be normal behaviour. It was literally special circumstances.
You weird desire to be pathetically alone should not ruin everyone elses opportunity to make friends.
Look if you want to be hyper independent and individualistic and isolated from people, it’s on you to stay away from people.
This 100%! I had a lady trying to provoke me into fighting her at a TJ maxx last week because I called her out on invading my personal space not one, but twice! The first time I moved away because she was almost touching my elbow, the second time I moved away and she followed me, only to be on my bumper again, so I finally snapped. I’m going to start wearing a hula hoops when going out just so people can’t keep getting so close to me!
you are welcome to live your life in a cave far from civilization, but you can’t expect everyone else to do the same. That’s kinda how humanity works…putting yourself in a public space and then getting so worked up that other people are there is odd
Today was going great until, people.
And OP isn’t owed isolation either
I agree with this
Yes human interaction is good and needed
But people shouldn’t be shunned or judged for not enjoying/engaging in things like small talk.
Like if I’m wearing headphones (because I want to be left alone) and someone keeps talking to me despite that, I end up being the asshole for getting annoyed that I’m being bothered, even though my demeanor SHOULD indicate that I do not wish to be approached.
Everyone should socialize, but nobody should be forced to just because they’re in public
Well, in a society, that is difficult. Lol
Op maybe you should just stay home.
Learn to be a human. Humans thrive on positive interactions. So sad that so many just want to isolate.
>And no I don’t care if we’re all human. We have wars and fights all the time so that reason is irrelevant.
This is so incredibly sad. The wars and fights all the time is the BEST reason to be a good person to everyone you can.
How old are you
The last time I got roped into small talk with someone they asked me if I was a virgin and got offended when I called them a gross pervert
Wrong. You actually aren’t entitled to impose your personal preferences about personal space and interpersonal interactions on the general population in public spaces. You should stay home and refrain from frequenting public areas if it bothers you so much.
You want to be able to enjoy being out in public but can’t handle being out in public.
Well done on the truly unpopular opinion.
There’s wanting your personal space, and then there’s thinking strangers shouldn’t be able to communicate with you.
Most people I strike up conversations with are enjoyable, interactive, and clearly pleased to be having the conversation.
Some very clearly just want to be left alone, but I’m not going to feel bad for the 2 seconds worth of interaction that they didn’t want to have with me before I left them alone.
It sounds like you want people to stay strangers. If you shop at the same grocery store and are always seeing the same clerks … Then they aren’t strangers. If you ride the same bus with the same rotating cast of people then you aren’t strangers.
Are you okay?
There are times when I just sneak up on people a little, like when we’re in line for something, maybe make small talk. But just to guys, because I’m scared of making women uncomfortable. This comment makes about as much sense as your post.
You aren’t owed any space so doesn’t that mean strangers are free to stand as close as they like?
You’re confusing basic human interaction with harassment, and it’s honestly a wild leap.
Nobody’s saying you’re owed someone’s time or space—but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to engage with people or, God forbid, ask a question in public. You’re acting like asking “Hey, do you know where the milk is?” is some kind of violation of the Geneva Convention. There’s a difference between someone being a jerk and someone simply coexisting in the same space as you.
The pandemic era was about health-based distancing—not a social blueprint for how humans should interact forever. You’re mistaking a temporary survival measure for a permanent lifestyle. If someone’s shoulder-to-shoulder with you in line and being weird, sure, that’s annoying. But most people just want to get through their day, maybe ask for directions, or say something harmless. That’s not stupidity—it’s called living in a society.
And that part about “we have wars and fights all the time so being human doesn’t matter”? That’s some next-level nihilism. By that logic, we shouldn’t trust anyone, care about anyone, or interact with anyone, ever. People fight, yeah—but they also fall in love, save each other from disasters, and build communities. The worst parts of humanity don’t erase the best parts.
You don’t have to like people. You don’t even have to talk to them. But if your solution to mild social interaction is “leave me the hell alone, always,” the problem isn’t everyone else. It’s you.
Random strangers at times seem to love to dump on me, energy exchange, then somehow be upset if I am not paying attention since I am busy working & feel held hostage. I mean, your lucky I smile & grin. It’s in no one’s right to have to force someone into a conversation, especially if it’s always on the darker side & you expect a reaction then personalize it when not given.
Frigging expectations like that get on my last nerve. It’s a lack of awareness what they do to people by not leaving strangers alone, since they feel entitled in their pain to vent. I just find it imposing, & then some people have audacity to think it’s rude when you just don’t want to be bothered with their drama.
Not sure if OP is intending to take this to the extreme by insisting everyone remain isolated from one another or if OP is intentionally making it a black and white issue.
But there is a trend, particularly in social media videos, where there seems to be an expectation that complete strangers whom the person knows nothing of their current state, is expecting them to either actively participate, or they just make unwitting strangers the butt of their joke. Anyone who dares to decline to participate is branded the bad guy. It’s rude. You don’t know what kind of day that person was having. Leave them alone and ask for volunteers instead.
There should be more understanding that not every person is wired to be a social butterfly. There are so many introverts out there that are just not comfortable making small talk with strangers and declining to do so doesn’t mean they are rude, it means they are not in their comfort zone. Now they have more than just unwanted smalltalk to worry about, it’s avoiding being the butt of a joke in a trending video.
You dont sound like someone id want to be around so mission accomplished.