Who cares what anyone else wears? Nothing is going to perfect no matter what you do. You are there to marry the love of your life and the MARRIAGE is what matters, not the wedding anyway. Why do people drive themselves crazy over one day?
Who cares what anyone else wears? Nothing is going to perfect no matter what you do. You are there to marry the love of your life and the MARRIAGE is what matters, not the wedding anyway. Why do people drive themselves crazy over one day?
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Tradition? Weddings are supposed to be the day about declaring your love for someone and celebrating that you two are starting a life together. If the whole big day that marks the start of your life together sucks, that sets a pretty shitty tone.
I dont care about having the perfect wedding, I care about having a day celebrating the marriage.
People drive themselves crazy over them because they are so important. They want to experience this event in a very specific way and create certain memories. There is nothing wrong with that. My wedding day was very stressful and the lead up to it was. But as a result we had a wonderful day and it was what we wanted.
I don’t understand people who spend all this money on a wedding instead of a house. I know people who had kids in apartments who had a nice wedding (one was a destination wedding in Puerto Rico). I’m so glad my wife isn’t an idiot and wanted us to buy a house instead of spending 20-30k on a wedding and reception.
Weddings have gotten so out of hand. We need some kind of cultural reset on weddings.
I think it’s great to have friends and family around but people who spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding I just don’t understand. Most people really don’t do that though.
Narcissism sometimes.
Preach OP!
I use to not think this but now I totally agree. It’s crazy how much money goes into it, especially nowadays. I don’t like the thought of asking my friends to go above and beyond for me and I much rather use that time and money for a house or a nice vacation. Love should be celebrated but I like the thought of doing it in a non traditional way more.
Yes and they don’t care enough about the marriage and this is why there is so much divorce
I get it totally that people want the wedding to be a day to remember and want to put some effort and money in it. It is supposed to be a celebration to being together for the rest of their lives. My ex-wife had planned her wedding since childhood and it used to be her dream to have that wonderful day. However it didn’t make it last obviously.
Sometimes it’s a control/perfectionist thing, but on the nicer flip side, sometimes it’s just because people have imagined the day for a very long time and put a lot of effort into planning and making it happen. Weddings take a long time (and often a lot of money) to pull off, I think it’s valid to want things to run smoothly and go the way you want, within reason.
I’m not sure that’s an unpopular opinion. I think most people would agree that the wedding is a nice celebration of the marriage BUT the most important thing is the two people making their vows to each other for a lifetime.
Those who spend ungodly amount of money into their weddings are fools and don’t usually go the distance. There’s nothing wrong with planning a wedding but it’s how much money and the craziness some put into that makes it a bit outlandish. Do you really need the ice sculptures? Do you really need the birds flying?
Not unpopular opinion at all.
Gathering family and friends together is fun but at the expense of a down payment/mortgage, time, stress, drama? No thanks!
It’s (supposed to be) a once-in-a-lifetime celebration with all your closest friends and family. They’re usually backed by tradition, which can also apply some social pressure, but IMO if someone is paying the bill to have a huge celebration and is inviting everyone they care about, I think people wanting the night to be perfect is understandable. The marriage is still the important part, but other parts still matter to some people.
We got married at a courthouse but we’re going to have a small wedding in siargao one day, with just a few family members. That’s all we need.
People want weddings not marriages.
Two things can be true:
It’s good to care and be invested in the thing that will be a day you’ll hopefully remember for the rest of your life.
People take it way too far and sweat too many details and try to control everything.
There’s a balance.
I don’t get spending in the tens of thousands on a party, but I’m poor. I also don’t want to perform or be the center of attention. It’s all just so weird. And people just do it and don’t feel weird about it? I don’t get it at alllll.
Agreed, I think a lot of people get married just for the wedding. The big expensive occasion to get dolled up and take a bunch of pictures. Which is fine if you have money to burn but it always gave me “I love myself” more than “we love each other” vibes but maybe I’m just a bitter Betty. I’m thinking about Kim Kardashian marrying Kris Humpries for a day and making a whole TV spectacular out of it
I think the brides care more so than the grooms. Not that the grooms don’t care – they also want a good day, but the brides have been talking to their friends and family for YEARS about how they envision their weddings going. Every girl I’ve dated has said it’s been a semi-regular topic of discussion with their friends since they were having sleepovers as kids and something they borderline fantasize about.
So I think all the years of pressure and expectations put on one day once it arrives makes them need to make sure it all goes according to plan and it’s the best day possible.
>You are there to marry the love of your life and the MARRIAGE is what matters, not the wedding anyway.
Why not both?
Obviouslly the love and marriage is important. But you also spend a fuck ton making it the best day of your life (it’s up there). They want a certain experienc from that day and spend A LOT of money trying to do that. Dress code is part of that.
And it’s a celebration of your love with friends and family, those people are important to you. It’s not just the two of you. Yes, the bride and groom are the most important. With the wedding part next and invited colleagues and distant cousins aren’t as importance but they aren’t meaningless. That and everything else has some importance to it, and with the money being spent. You want that to land right.
It’s OK to me, as long as I’m invited.
My own wedding was vastly overrated. I’m much, much happier being married than I was in getting married.
Haven’t even glanced at the wedding album in over two decades. I think it’s on a shelf up in the hall closet? Maybe? Or was that in our last house?
My husband and I had a low key ceremony in city hall and then a smaller event in a restaurant. We both hate being the center of attention. However, I won’t judge if people have big lavish weddings if that is what makes them happy. One of my friends had one of these and she is very much an extrovert and she had a great time and I was there to support her as a bridesmaid.
>Why do people drive themselves crazy over one day?
I think you kind of answered your own question there– it’s one day.
One ceremony and usually one reception that will (hopefully) only happen once in your life.
I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong to make such a huge, life-changing and defining thing something of an event for yourself, your friends and your family. And true, some people take it way too far… but in my experience, 99% of weddings are actually very reasonable affairs that are low-key, don’t cost much and aren’t super prohibitive or extravagant.
Over 6,000 weddings happen every day on average… you just only ever hear about the exceedingly few crazy or expensive ones, and it’s poisoning your view on weddings as a whole.
And I know you’re probably just going to respond with “the wedding isn’t important, the marriage is!”, but the whole point of the wedding is to celebrate the marriage.
Did you wear a white dress to someone’s wedding?
People like having pretty pictures to show off how great their life supposedly is.
I agree, but I think people get caught up because of the pressure of throwing what is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event and it typically is ten thousand dollars plus. It makes people crazy.
I think it’s the pressures of societies to get married and people think of it as being a celebrity of a day.
Open bar, invitations and a few wedding crashers — in that order. That’s all you need for a successful wedding.
Alright who’s wedding did you ruin? Cmon get over to r/AITAH
Nah, I’m gonna put my whole soul into it because when else am I going to have all my friends and family in one place having a party where me and my partner are dressed to the nines and pick all the food and decor and music? To the people in the comments talking about money— yes weddings are expensive and some people make them more so by doing some crazy stuff. But tbh, my sister got married recently and it was a very modest thing, in a local church, reception in a senior citizen event center that got dolled up a bit for the occasion, just friends and family that they know and care about, and she & her husband still spent $15K to make it happen, in the rural Midwest USA, not known for high cost of living.
Guy I worked with spent almost 100k on giving his daughter the “wedding of her dreams”. Nearly bankrupted him, but she got her wedding. They were divorced 18 months later. Then the Dad had to help princess bride with all of the legal bills. I doubt that guy will ever be the same.
I don’t understand how people spend $100s of thousands of dollars on a party. I’ve even had jobless millennial friends let their parents pay that much for their wedding. While jobless?!?!
I don’t get why it bothers other people if it’s not your wedding. When it’s your turn do it how you want
I got married a few months ago. I wanted to elope and my husband wanted the wedding. It was pretty small and honestly didn’t cost a whole lot in the end; it was affordable for us but I still would have rather put the money elsewhere and gone to the courthouse.
People get themselves in debt or spend money they need to start their new lives together on weddings.
A big celebration is great, of course. But its become a ‘must have’ for some to a point it hurts their futures.
I think the fact you posted this confirms that people care about weddings too much.
Look where I’m from the couple gets a lot of money from gifts so it kind of balances out. Particularly if they have wealthy parents with wealthy friends. It is an event for the parents also, they want a big fat wedding for their friends.
Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense
True. I also feel that weddings should be private, only between the two people. I never related to or understood why friends, family , and associates need to attend just to celebrate a documented life-long oath of love between two others.
No, I’m not envious, jealous, or an incel. I’m not petty or weird like that. I know for a fact that I’m biased to a degree, though, since I personally don’t believe in marriage as it is. What I do believe is that pure, true love doesn’t need a ring, a signed document, and a ceremony. The media, princess movies, and fictitious happily ever after stories have indoctrinated girls and women into the obsessive idea of marriage.
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it… if you care more about the proposal or the wedding then you are actually getting married, you are too immature to be getting married. How they propose or what type of wedding you have should be irrelevant. The only thing you should care about is getting married. I think most people just want the spectacle and aren’t thinking twice about the commitment of being with one person for the rest of your life.
There are people that want a big proposal or a big wedding but getting married is most important but those people are few and far between. I’ve yet to meet someone with this mentality but I assume they exist.