I have more than a few people in my life who tend to do this – You met them a few times or in social situations and then refer to them as your “friend”. Uhhh, you’re not friends, bud. They’re an acquaintance, someone you know and perhaps engaged conversationally before, but they’re not friends.
I have one person in my life who does this habitually and it drives me up a wall. If a person they know did something cool or noteworthy that will give them clout, they refer to them as their “friend” in the effort to make it seem like they were closer and had an effort in the other party’s successes.
Me, on the other hand, who lived with this person and had become legit friends with long ago and have shared experiences enough to be “friends”, always got called a “roommate” or something less flattering.
The same thing applies to friends of significant others. They’re not MY friends, they’re acquaintances through our mutual friend. My partner has a close friend who was invited into MY friend group and now treats it as their own. They ain’t your friends dude! They’re my friends and you piggybacked a ride on my social efforts.
Edit – haha it’s abundantly clear how many of you are also friend-level jumpers.
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I think I understand why your “friend” would refer to you as a roommate…
You should be flattered if someone considers you their friend. Not everyone shares your strict definition.
>who lived with this person
roommate, by definition
You need to tell this to your “friends” not reddit..
This is such a weird level of jealousy and pettiness. Trying to gatekeep who your friends call friends or acquaintances, etc is weird and obnoxious.
Imagine gatekeeping friendship
“You don’t have enough XP to get to the friend rank yet!”
Mostly agree, I have a lot of coworkers like this
I disagree with the end bit though
Yeah you sound pretty stressful to be friends with ngl
My partner does a version of this. You meet someone one time, and now you invite them everywhere you go. Our friends were having people over to their house and my partner suggested a couple people from a different social circle of ours. The friends didn’t want people they didn’t know coming over, and my partner told them they met them briefly at our house the previous year.
Yeah, they are still strangers, bud.
Edited for clarification.
going to have to give you credit for sharing a real unpopular opinion. I probably share your strict personal definition, but I’m not going to tell other people how to define it or use the term
You don’t really understand people, do you?
If someone feels they are close enough to be considered someone’s friend, that’s a compliment unless that person says otherwise. I have this habit too since I do get easily attached to other people, but it’s not really that big of a deal.
My neighbor hired an interior designer for her home and said, “my friend, who is an interior designer, designed this room for me. Wasn’t that so sweet of her?” Uh, no. I, too, follow that designer on socials and you’re not friends.
I get this is for unpopular opinions, but who are you to dictate who calls someone their friend and their reasoning for it? You sound pretty bitter especially with the roommate thing.
Yeah… you go ahead and try and tell everyone you know who is allowed to call other people friends and who isn’t. See how that works out for you. Or… try humbling yourself a bit and stop trying to control/gatekeep everyone around you.
We are just lonely and wanna connect faster,it ain’t that deep
Yeah, I don’t trust anyone who would call me a “friend” too quickly. They either want something from me, or they’re just very shallow people with an obvious façade.
I mean sounds like they might not consider you a particularly close friend and I get it
I’d refer to friends as old housemates as I feel like adding that you lived together makes it a stronger bond. I would never take offence to someone I lived with introducing me as their housemate.
I mean, I understand what you’re trying to say and even agree to some degree, but you venting on a subreddit instead of telling these people THEN and THERE what you really think, makes you just as obnoxious and insincere.
Your post makes you sound like a jealous and insecure person with a very bizarre misunderstanding of friendship and what friends are for. It’s almost like you objectify the people in your circle and feel like you have some sort of claim on them ahead of others who are less worthy.
I am upvoting for an unpopular opinion though.
I agree with everything except the last paragraph. There are things I would do for people I consider “friend” that I wouldn’t do for acquaintances and coworkers and it makes me uncomfortable when they call me “friend” before that. It feels like they are putting expectations on me that I do not feel obligated to fulfill.
That last paragraph is whack though. Your friends aren’t your possession and they’re free to make new ones, even if that new one is a friend of your SO.
Everyone roasting OP, and rightfully so, but forgetting what sub we’re in. Upvote for a genuinely unpopular and weird opinion.
You sound like a real gatekeeper!
I don’t know why you assume people only do this for clout. Some people just don’t think much about the difference between an acquaintance and a friend, and consider anyone they like that they interact with, even briefly, a friend. Even if they are technically only acquaintances, it doesn’t mean they’re just saying that to make themselves look cool or whatever. Maybe some, sure, but not everyone.
I do this to weed people like you out. Ain’t nobody got time for people who gatekeep friendship and control others.