I had a boyfriend when I was 18-22, who was super mentally abusive. So I felt like I couldn’t leave, like I wouldn’t survive. He took the money I earned as rent and probably the only nice thing he did was buy me a car, but he made damn sure I knew that it was his if we ended.
One night he said to me ‘you’d be nothing without me’ and suddenly it just clicked, I left a few hours later. He took my keys off me so didn’t have access to anything and I walked 2 hours to my family house.
I’m 28 now, have an amazing boyfriend, sturdy job and a 1 year old, life is good.
I was living in my home state and I had no local friends, a terrible job, and the lease on my terrible apartment was ending. I was lost, hopeless, and alone. I made the spontaneous choice to move out of state and start fresh. I now live my new home, met my husband, and am working at a job I love that pays me better than any others before.
I asked his daughter to do her Sunday chores. She said she had and I replied that she had not as there were no vaccum lines and there was still dirt on the kitchen floor from that morning. She got in my face screaming and I looked at him relaxing on the couch and asked really? He said I keep track of her allowance. I looked her in the face and said I’m done with you, tuned and looked at him and said I’m fucking done with you too. 11.5 years together. He was kind and paid for my apartment for the first year so I didn’t have to move back in with my mom (I was 43).
Things aren’t great but they are a hell of a lot better than they were. I’m 46 now, single and fat but I don’t have the depression or anxiety I did back then.
I told him I was sick, terrified I was going to die before I knew what was wrong with me, and I needed his help. He told me to “get my emotional needs filled by someone else.”
So I did. I filed for divorce knowing it might cost me my house, my dog, my car, and my friends. He got the car, we sold the house, I got the dog and am on good terms with most of the friend group.
I also got true love. I’m with an amazing man that loves me and helped me get back to health. It was a long road (which im still on) but he’s been by my side the entire way.
Absolutely worth the car and the house. 1000 times over. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. 10/10 would do again
I was sitting in a room with my ex and he was talking about buying magic the gathering cards with our rent money. That night I put an ad on Facebook that I was giving away everything from my house. People came and took everything, my fence included. The next day I got in my car and drove off
I was homeless for a bit and ended up living in a town about an hour away where I got a room in an old house and a job doing delivery. I met my now husband later that month while he was homeless too. Our first date together he was so firm that he was going to be something one day that I said fuck it, let’s build a life together.
We got married in 2015 and are doing better than ever. He just got his doctorate and I run my own business. I’m a big believer in cutting ties and starting over when life where you’re at had nothing for you.
Divorce. I hated all our stuff, it was all broken and instead of buying new, he wanted to fix it all but never got around to actually fixing our crap. So I left it all behind and went and bought all new.
I moved out of state at 18 after growing up in a severely dysfunctional household, witnessing physical/mental/emotional abuse consistently throughout my childhood with parents who were on hard drugs. I started a new life in a new state and it was the best decision I ever made.
His dad got a little too “fresh”. Last straw. TBH I haven’t financially or socially recovered 6 years later. I’m alive and not in a bad relationship, but our society is set up for married couples. It’s very hard, but at least I’m not with an abusive alcoholic.
I moved to a different city. Except for one relative, no active safety net like I have in my hometown.
Single best move I ever did. I need to make my own life and not live in a pre-destined same old place I grew up in with the same family listening to the same accent. Needed endless possibilities and motivation to make my own way.
Result = Very happy for a long time and yes, everything worked out. The place I left was the biggest city in the entire world to go to a smaller city.
Without getting into too many details, I hated my life and wanted a fresh start. I was depressed and all my “friends” sucked.
Packed up and moved across the country to a state I’d never even visited before and didn’t know a single person there.
Now I live not to far from where I left but much, much happier now all around.
My ex never brought home my son (3.5) after Thanksgiving 2023. Found out my relatives were still keeping my son every week. My grandma & aunt both lived in my neighborhood (1 street over). My attorney is disbarred. I do not have parents. Worked at the Walmart they’d all shop frequently (small town). Went to the police. Went to the courthouse. Turned away from every local attorney’s office.
Never been on drugs, but never got my footing right with finances or family. My son was kidnapped for the second time. My relatives are extremely religious. My ex & his family are narcissistic. I was ready to KMS.
I got married & moved to a different state. I have a new baby son. We own a house. Have our own cars. 7 acres. A puppy & a lush garden/orchard. I only see pictures of my eldest (now 5yo) via my aunt’s fb timeline. My relatives refuse to respond to my many requests to be sent pics.
My ex held me hostage for 2yrs. He called me his “n-word slave” & “the perfect r*pe victim.” The PTSD feels like my life flashes b4 my eyes all the time. I miss my beautiful child everyday. My baby & I look at his photos, sing songs about him.
There was no “winning” my son. His father is deranged w an arsenal of enablers. I started over from scratch. My children will know me as a survivor that smiles.
My life was in shambles. My wife’s affair had shattered our family, and our children were collateral damage in our endless arguments. My job, too, was a source of immense stress, offering none of the advantages that typically come with working in a family business. I felt worthless, my self-respect was non-existent, and my mind was so fucked thanks to relentless gaslighting.
I hit rock bottom, a desperate place where I found myself on my knees, contemplating suicide. My pistol, hidden in the closet, seemed to beckon me, promising a quick end to my pain. But as I stood up, a harsh truth hit me that my wife, for all her faults, was also shitty mother to our children. That realization gave me the strength to turn away from the closet and step back from the edge.
The thought of suicide is a heavy, chilling conviction that those left behind might be better off without you. For me, it was my children who saved me, who gave me a reason to keep fighting. To this day it makes me nauseous looking back on this time of my life.
I decided to take control of my life and enrolled in a local university. About halfway through my first semester, my wife left me for another man. I stayed strong, finished what I started, and moved out of our home, leaving her to move her new partner in. I paid the bills and lived at home with my parents while we sorted out our dirty divorce. I was eventually able to evict them both, as neither could hold a job let alone take care of the yard. I gave her a paid-off vehicle, all of our belongings, but I leveraged joint custody. I even let it slide when they withdrew thousands from my savings.
As my senior year approached, I had moved back into that home and reclaimed my independence. I signed the divorce papers in the morning and headed straight to class to finish my finals. I graduated, making the Dean’s and President’s lists, and walked away with a BA in Business & Accounting. I’m now studying for my CPA license.
A month after our divorce finalized, she fled to another city with some guy. I filed for full custody and removed child support from our orders. I was granted the motion since she defaulted. Now, I have my children exclusively, able to make decisions, get them to school on time, and provide a stable, enjoyable environment.
Now was the time to finally cut ties with my family business and move to another town with my new wife. We capitalized on the housing market dynamics and moved up the ladder. My relationship with my siblings and father has improved tremendously. I even make more money now, with less stress, and I’m not even the VP of anything. I gave up luxurious vehicles and other items that made it tough to separate from. But those items weren’t enough for me to endure this shit anymore.
Hitting that bottom was real, but I remind myself that things happen for a reason. Even when you think it’s hell, good things are waiting for you in the future. We don’t always know what’s best for ourselves. I am happily married to the woman of my dreams, share a home with our blended family, and with her support, we’ve accomplished so much in so little time. I was even able to add one more to the fam! My children choose not to see their mom, and I won’t pressure that relationship or hinder it. I’ve given them the tools to make good decisions based on healthy relationships, even though they endured a very stressful one early on. I let them navigate their own path, and I support them. It’s the best decision I could have ever made.
The realization of taking your own life, was the lowest I had ever been. I encourage anyone at that all time low, to reconsider the ones who love you unconditionally. They would be shattered at the thought of losing you. Stay positive and love your life.
Professionally fine but socially delayed. Pretty much started over in ‘18.
I wish I started over in ‘13. Those last 5 years leading into the “reset” may as well have been 15 years.
Edit: socially as in life goals and such. Luckily I am pretty youthful and look 10-12 years younger, but I should be further along on that game of life thing.
I had two moments, one when I left my hometown, I swear I couldn’t stand the gossip and hypocrisy, it was tofo like big brother was there, It took 3 years of odd jobs to reach the national capital.
then when my ex forced me to babysit her sisters, I broke up with her and got heavily in debt to get out of there now I live with my stepbrother and his boyfriend.
Don’t want to talk about what happened but completely removed myself from the social scene. Had to end friendships over a decade old, felt completely isolated in a city where I had grown up. Eventually moved away, found my current partner, had to completely change career path and discovered hobbies I never got the chance to before. Worked a lot on my mental health and rebuilt a couple of the friendships that were valuable to me on healthier terms.
I sincerely believe breaking points are a chance to rebuild and more often than not in a good way. Always prioritise your wellbeing and financial stability over everything. Leave behind anything that threatens that.
Decided to fully move out of the U.S about 5 months ago. (I’m 27).
Not just due to politics (I hate both parties) but just the entire vibe of the U.S being work life only, also zero culture, dirty cities, men and women hating eachother and overall your success is 99% based off how rich you grew up and what headstart your family gives you
got obsessed with how the rest of the world doesn’t care about any of this stuff when I took my first international trip a few years ago and spent forever saving and planning to move internationally with my Golden Retriever.
We’re currently in Argentina but slowly traveling throughout SA – and overall life is amazing, much slower. So much culture shock seeing how much everyone loves eachother, no one talks about work, genuinely everyone respects eachother and it’s still hard getting used to. Next step is deleting reddit and all socials but i’m so thankful and never want to come back to a country like the U.S.
I left my abusive partner after me punched me in the face. I lost my baby and could not take any more. I should never have got to that point and I regretted not leaving sooner every day
Now I am happily married, moved country at 42 years old, have a fantastic job and never looked back. Also I’m 8 months pregnant! It’s never too late
Husband of over a decade was cheating on me with multiple people, he also subjected me to years of emotional, financial and physical abuse. I traveled abroad for medical treatment and while I was away he got married to his girlfriend in another state WHILE WE WERE STILL MARRIED.
The next five years were hellish as he dragged out the divorce (I filed, he was big mad that I filed and he couldn’t stop me) and spread the most egregious lies about me to his family and all of our mutual friends both in person and posting online. He went out of his way to defame me and break me. Think of the most horrific shit you could be accused of doing, he claimed I did it.
Happy to say I am ten years clear of him and happily divorced. It took a number of years to heal and get past it all but I’d absolutely make the same decision again about leaving and filing for divorce, despite the epic shit show I had to get through to get my freedom. I’m 100% happier now and I have my old self confidence back. My peace (both day to day and inner) is priceless and was worth fighting for. I wouldn’t swap my life now for anything.
My breaking point was my ex husband found his new girlfriend and told me to get out of our home. I said okay. I didn’t fight or anything. I cried, of course, but didn’t yell. I packed my stuff and that day.
Luckily, my family bought me a one way ticket back home and I stayed with my grandma for a bit. I got a job for the peak season (Christmas) and that helped me get good again. Then I started to heavily drink and do drugs. After one of my darkest days on drugs, I met this guy. He seemed nice and funny. I talked to him and he became my boyfriend. He got me clean. We moved in together.
Today, I am a data analyst. 5 years sober. I have a son. A sweet husband who actually likes me back. I left everything I thought was important behind with my 1st husband. Now that I have my family, I can’t imagine my life with that first guy. Im happy now.
I was directing a play and had a meeting with the producer. She began chewing me out and saying that what we had agreed upon wasn’t going to work because she didn’t like it. It wasn’t a logistics issue, she just literally didn’t like it and threatened to fire me if I went through with it.
She had been undermining me the entire time and I was fucking sick of her, so I said fuck it and walked out. She ended up begging me to come back because the cast loved me and hated her, so I agreed to come back as her assistant director on the grounds that she paid me a fuck ton more money and we’d never have to directly interact. Not sure why she agreed to that but she did.
The week after the show closed I moved 500 miles away and started going to film school.
That was 10 years ago and I only just stepped foot back in a theatre for the first time about a month ago. I work in film now, have started producing (i no longer direct) and I live 1500 miles from that wretched woman. I’m so, so much happier.
There actually wasn’t even a breaking point for me. I was with someone for 7 years through my teens and early twenties and I was miserable but I didn’t know I was miserable. Then I slowly started to notice things and one day when I was 22, I thought “my whole life is going to be like this if I don’t make a change.” So the next day I went to my moms, told her I was leaving and I was going to move into my grandparents house 5 hours away in a new state. The day after that I woke up, told him I was leaving to create a better life for myself and that’s what I did. Packed everything in garbage bags, quit the 4 dead end jobs I had and left everything I ever knew and I never looked back.
The day I got to my grandparents they took me to the local community college where i immediately signed up for classes. I wound up meeting the best friends of my life there, lost a shit ton of weight, found a job I loved through school and then I transferred to a university where I got my bachelors degree in biochem.
I now am married to the very best and most supportive human anyone could ever ask for, I have a dog, the best job out of anyone I’ve ever known that takes me to amazing places and I meet incredible people, I’ve traveled the world, but most of all, I created a life of peace filled with success, gratitude and happiness. I am living a life I dreamt of and never thought I could have and it feels so fucking good. I am grateful for everyday and if I had to go through it all again to get where I am today, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Walked away from a 20-year relationship that had turned into an abusive one with my high school sweetheart. I’m 3 years out of it. It took therapy, some luck, a couple of supportive and encouraging friends, and a ton of being intentional with my decisions and emotions. After 2 years of healing, I met the love of my life, and I married him 2 weeks ago.
When my ex and I split, I took the advice that I gave others and didn’t let him steal any more of my life by trying to get revenge, wallowing excessively, or hating on all men. I focused on healing and figuring out who I wanted to be now.
Long story short, my mother lied to me and my stepfather about who my father was. Basically committed parental fraud. It was traumatizing for a lot of reasons, but the worst was knowing I grew up with a father who was abusive instead of my actual father who was just out there.
We got into a huge blowout fight over it that involved her getting physical, so I ran away and couch surfed with friends before staying with my dad and now my grandparents. I also had three other major negative life events happen within maybe three months? I was completely shattered, suicidal, got put into a ward, and honestly said a lot of things to my family I’m not proud of.
That was two years ago and things are actually going decently well. I’m in therapy, I’ve made a lot of new friends, and I have a wonderful cat I adore! I still don’t talk to my immediate family, sometimes I think about how different my life could be if I knew my actual father from the start, and running away without a plan was maybe not the brightest idea, but it was one I needed to make and don’t really regret. Things could be better, but it’s hard to complain about things with a solid friend group and a kitty purring in your ear :>
I tried so hard for 5 years and we really did have a good time but he IGNORED ME. Couldn’t handle my career & working with mostly men. We went on a family trip that my mom paid for, he raised his voice at me in front of my family whom he’d never met. He didn’t want to talk about any ACTUAL real life things.
I woke up the second day we got home and was SICK to my stomach that if I didn’t leave, I’d been soooo fucking depressed the rest of my life.
Fast forward to now and I get to travel for work and make a fuck ton of money. I will NEVER let a man dictate my paycheque ever, again.
I was an RN during COVID. Between the craziness of the pandemic and the exodus of staff shortly after, causing us to be so severely short-staffed that I was doing the work of 2 or 3 nurses each shift and denied vacation for almost a year, I was severely burned out and was having intrusive thoughts about self harm.
Fortunately, I was able to recognize this and I left – quit my job, got a job teaching English in Japan, sold most of my stuff, and off I went. Honestly, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself and being away from home and nursing gave me the space I needed to piece my mental health back together.
I’m back in Canada now and back working as a nurse, though in a different location. I’m doing much better overall, but I’m also now in therapy to address all the craziness since 2020 happened.
I left my then husband. I’d lived in the same place forever so I threw a dart at a map, and moved to a place I had never been and didn’t know anyone. Rented an apartment sight unseen. I had no safety net so had to make it work. 11 years later, I’m still in that same apartment and life is great.
I had just graduated school in a town that didn’t have much of an industry for my educational background. The lease was up on my apartment and all my friends I made from school were moving away. The only options I had was either go back to my hometown and stay in a toxic friend group, or move to the other side of the country. I chose the latter and I’ve been here for almost twenty years. I have zero regrets. Made healthy friendships, got a job in my field and settled down with my current partner. The toxic friends I had in my hometown stayed there and from what I hear, haven’t been living good lives. If you have the opportunity to start somewhere new with a clean slate, take it.
Had an alcoholic father and unstable mother who both wanted me to overlook decades of neglect and abuse to take care of them in their elderly years. Sold dnag near everything and moved across the country. Couldn’t have made a batter decision.
I had ignored the red flags for years. I was the primary breadwinner. He would flip items, but used my money and spent any earnings on himself. I was so busy trying to take care of everything I had not realized how bad things had truly become. He was emotionally and financially abusive, but 3 1/2 years in he became physically abusive.
I was home alone avoiding the world because I had a black eye. I was so ashamed that my life had devolved into pure fear and chaos. A mutual friend stopped by and although I had been hiding something told me it was safe to open the door. He did not say anything about the black eye and just started chatting about life in general.
He suddenly got serious and said “you work so hard and have nothing to show for it. It does not have to be this way. Imagine how much money you would have if it was just you. The day you are ready to leave let me know and I will get you out of here safely.” In that moment I knew I was not as alone as I thought.
It still took me another month to get my courage up to leave. The breaking point was another black eye, broken blood vessels in my eyes and bruises around my neck. My partner (ex now) calmly looked at me broken, crying, bruised and said in a calm and cold voice ”I could kill you and bury you in the backyard and no one would ever miss you”.
I waited until he fell asleep. I quietly crawled into the bedroom looking for my spare pair of glasses since my partner would always take them when he thought I might leave. I can only see 12 inches in front of me without glasses. It was an effective way for him to control my ability to leave. I found an old cell phone with no service, but knew 911 calls would go through.
I grabbed the keys to my 20 year old Expedition, which I never drove because it was old and had engine troubles. My ex had disabled the speedometer as another way to keep me captive. I knew once I started the truck there was no going back. I sat in the driver’s seat crying and praying for strength to turn the key. I drove off and did not look back.
I drove to a convenience store a few miles down the street and called 911. I requested an officer to help me get to the local DV shelter. Of course my ex tracked me down at the shelter. My advocate arranged a bed for me in a shelter out of state. I sold my truck for $400 to a junk car buyer. I did not have the title, but the buyer knew I was in a shelter and let it slide. I took a greyhound bus and prayed that I had escaped for good.
It has been 4 years this month since I left. My life is so much better now. I do not cry everyday anymore. I do not have to try and cover up bruises with makeup anymore. I am free and happy. I still have rough days, but they are infinitely better than my best days with him.
I never reached out to the friend that encouraged me to leave. If Harold happens to see this thank you for caring and reminding me I had worth🧡
Edit: anyone that is experiencing domestic violence in the US, please reach out to The Hotline it is the national domestic violence hotline. If you are not from the US, the r/AbusiveRelationships sub has DV resources worldwide.
Got into a horrible accident when I was 19. Tire popped, car flipped 3-4 times into a ditch and I ended up pinned under a camper. Miraculously, I had a few scrapes and bruises but was otherwise fine. They had a body bag ready for me since I lost consciousness for a while. Lost everything. I was on a trip at the time (on my way there), so phone, laptop, etc were all gone. Car was totaled too.
Called my mom using the first responder’s phone. No answer. Called my step dad – just said I would figure out my way to where I was going, wanted to let them know I didn’t have my phone but I was okay and would be back on the day I planned. I was obviously very out of it/assuming my friend would drive the few hours to come get me.
Well, he and my mom came and got me and he proceeds to yell at me about how I “want to be an adult but expect to be treated like a child.” I’d been financially independent and in college/working full time since 18. Not a troublemaker, no drugs, stereotypical good kid. Just because he came to get me which I not only did not ask him to do but did not need him to do. This is, believe it or not, one of the less shitty things he’s said over the years.
Long story short I moved halfway across the country 2 months later. Still speak to him maybe twice a year. He’s raised me since I was 4 and can’t even remember my birthday.
One of my best friends committed suicide a week and a half before I started my new job closer to my boyfriens. Started the job anyway, since I knew that if I stopped moving for too long I wouldn’t get up again. Hated the job. Boyfriend turned nasty as soon as I moved, broke up with him a couple months ago. Saw my friend for the first time in 6 months and learned that he was cremated the same day I started the job. Quit and moved to a new city.
I’m doing okay. Surrounded by my family and his. His daughter calls me aunty and his wife and I are tight. I didn’t realize that I had a breaking point that would make me absolutely fuck off from my life, but I guess everyone does. Since I’m not burnt out and run off my feet constantly, I have time to sit with my feelings a lot. It’s nice, and very hard.
My heart goes out to ya’ll who have started over, this is hard. But if I can’t have my friend back, at least I can live a life that I actually want. I’d give it all for one more night of bullshit wisdom from him though.
I left and for the first time in decades, I felt peace and happiness. From there, I started working on myself. I cut ties with anyone who didn’t add value or positivity to my life. I found a life coach who completely shifted how I see myself. After some trial and error, I connected with an incredible therapist. I joined a support group. And when I finally learned to see my own worth and truly love myself, I met a partner who reflects that love back to me.
It wasn’t a perfect path, there were still plenty of trials and errors, but I did it. I’m still doing the work because I know it’s lifelong, especially since I didn’t grow up with the tools to be my authentic self. But I’m no longer in survival mode. I’m living as the person I was meant to be, happy and free.
It was terrifying to walk away from what was familiar and comfortable, even though it was toxic. But I did. And now, I look back and pat myself on the back for leaving, for growing, and for choosing me. I did it!!!
he was planning to kill me. nothing i have or no one i knew is worth my life.
i still spend a lot of time in bed trying not to puke. but at least im free. i havent been homeless in months and i just got promoted at work. its worth walking away. my life is mine. i deserve it, and i deserve to have as good a life as i can make.
I was living with my at the time girlfriend and her son. One day I came home and found her hiding a man in the closet. We tried to make things work (dumb decision) and we inevitably ended up ending our lease early. I moved back in with my parents. I was working a dead end job (with my ex), and when I went out with friends to try and get my mind off things, they would sometimes invite my ex because they were friends as well. I couldn’t escape her.
I went crazy. Mad even.
When looking for apartments one day, my sister texted me asking to move to Denver with her for she just accepted a job offer out there. I told her id absolutely love to.
I take a whole fully furnished 2 bedroom apartment and condense it into what would fit into my chevy malibu. The rest I donated, gifted, and threw away.
I moved to Denver a year and a half ago. Ive since dated again, im still working crapy jobs, but im starting school in August at the prime age of 29.
Life’s not perfect but im in a much better space than I was not even 2 years ago and im working on becoming a better version of myself. Its never too late to turn things around.
I was 15 & left with nothing but what could fit in my school bag. After being strangled to a point of blacking out (amongst other abuse leading up to this event), I warned my father if he touched me again I’d go to the police. He instead attacked my cat to hurt me. That was the breaking point for me.
Life was very hard for the first 7 years – somedays I’m surprised I made it. I’m 32 now. Married, with a child, another on the way. Life is good. I’m very cut throat with people now though, you fuck me over, I’ll go no contact without any argument or confrontation. All I want is peace in my life. I’ve never seen or spoken to my father since. Reconnected with my brother 2 years ago which has been nice. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I wish it on anyone else, Gods no.
Had a high paying job with a famous entertainment company – absolutely hated the culture and the mgmt. (or lack thereof). Quit – my wife and I drove back across the country and to Canada. Lived with her folks for 6 months – both started our own businesses , got clients, rented a place, had a kid and made more than ever before in a corporate job. Finally saw the matrix – and was so proud. Felt like I was taking a step back, but sometimes you have to go backwards in order to actually go forwards.
years of stuff, been called stupid, him screaming at my parents and laughing at them when they didnt have jobs, staying out every night until 11pm at the pub, just a bunch of gas lighting, the final straw came when he said i was getting in the way of his house renovations… the house had been an un-finished building site 2 years to me even prior being there. I packed up all my stuff into my honda civic, put his key under the mat and sent a text, i stayed with my parents for a bit then moved on to a friends. I didnt really have a lot as years prior he had convinced me to sell all my furniture because he didnt have the space for it, those things are easy enough to start again with its only stuff
Dude— walking away and removing myself from my toxic family is the best gift I have ever given myself. No regrets, I’m fuckin thriving mentally and emotionally, plus my physical health improved immensely too. I mean seriously, letting go of all my things and all those people did amazing things for me. I’m really grateful to myself for making that decision. I started over with only what fit in my car and moving across the country to a state nobody who knew me would be able to guess. Not that they’d go looking anyway.
Sometimes I’m a little lonely but not lonely enough that I’d undo anything.
I was in a job I did not like with a boss who was frankly an asshole
(How much of an asshole? Among other things I had to apologise to auditors for the way he treated them just for doing their job – auditing our department. He bullied his employees but was a crawling sycophant to his own bosses.)
Anyway the final straw was vacations, when HE took a 4 week vacation, and my coworker in the same dept took a 4 week vacation, but I was not allowed to take a 4 week (even though I had the leave) Because “We can’t do without you that long”. When I asked why THEY could take a 4 week vacation but I could not I was told “we’re married and have kids but you don’t you’re single so you don’t need a 4 week vacation”
Found another job, put in two weeks notice and left. So they went from losing me for 4 weeks to losing me for good.
My new job was teaching TEFL English in China. I was there for 20 years. Life was great. Met a girl, bought an apartment, had kids, enjoyed my life.
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I had a boyfriend when I was 18-22, who was super mentally abusive. So I felt like I couldn’t leave, like I wouldn’t survive. He took the money I earned as rent and probably the only nice thing he did was buy me a car, but he made damn sure I knew that it was his if we ended.
One night he said to me ‘you’d be nothing without me’ and suddenly it just clicked, I left a few hours later. He took my keys off me so didn’t have access to anything and I walked 2 hours to my family house.
I’m 28 now, have an amazing boyfriend, sturdy job and a 1 year old, life is good.
My breaking point was realizing I didn’t belong in the place I was any longer. So I left. Life been good since then, so probably a good choice.
I was living in my home state and I had no local friends, a terrible job, and the lease on my terrible apartment was ending. I was lost, hopeless, and alone. I made the spontaneous choice to move out of state and start fresh. I now live my new home, met my husband, and am working at a job I love that pays me better than any others before.
I asked his daughter to do her Sunday chores. She said she had and I replied that she had not as there were no vaccum lines and there was still dirt on the kitchen floor from that morning. She got in my face screaming and I looked at him relaxing on the couch and asked really? He said I keep track of her allowance. I looked her in the face and said I’m done with you, tuned and looked at him and said I’m fucking done with you too. 11.5 years together. He was kind and paid for my apartment for the first year so I didn’t have to move back in with my mom (I was 43).
Things aren’t great but they are a hell of a lot better than they were. I’m 46 now, single and fat but I don’t have the depression or anxiety I did back then.
I was made to go back then knocked down by the people who made me go back and then my life was destroyed by them.
I left my hometown as soon as I graduated high school.
Vowed to spend as little time there as possible
I didn’t like the place or the people
The people made it clear they didn’t like me
Been living the dream ever since
I told him I was sick, terrified I was going to die before I knew what was wrong with me, and I needed his help. He told me to “get my emotional needs filled by someone else.”
So I did. I filed for divorce knowing it might cost me my house, my dog, my car, and my friends. He got the car, we sold the house, I got the dog and am on good terms with most of the friend group.
I also got true love. I’m with an amazing man that loves me and helped me get back to health. It was a long road (which im still on) but he’s been by my side the entire way.
Absolutely worth the car and the house. 1000 times over. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. 10/10 would do again
He said he chooses alcohol over me, I moved out into my own place and life is better!!
I was sitting in a room with my ex and he was talking about buying magic the gathering cards with our rent money. That night I put an ad on Facebook that I was giving away everything from my house. People came and took everything, my fence included. The next day I got in my car and drove off
I was homeless for a bit and ended up living in a town about an hour away where I got a room in an old house and a job doing delivery. I met my now husband later that month while he was homeless too. Our first date together he was so firm that he was going to be something one day that I said fuck it, let’s build a life together.
We got married in 2015 and are doing better than ever. He just got his doctorate and I run my own business. I’m a big believer in cutting ties and starting over when life where you’re at had nothing for you.
Divorce. I hated all our stuff, it was all broken and instead of buying new, he wanted to fix it all but never got around to actually fixing our crap. So I left it all behind and went and bought all new.
I moved out of state at 18 after growing up in a severely dysfunctional household, witnessing physical/mental/emotional abuse consistently throughout my childhood with parents who were on hard drugs. I started a new life in a new state and it was the best decision I ever made.
His dad got a little too “fresh”. Last straw. TBH I haven’t financially or socially recovered 6 years later. I’m alive and not in a bad relationship, but our society is set up for married couples. It’s very hard, but at least I’m not with an abusive alcoholic.
I list all, married life for you, I never recovered that loss. I guess I never will, regardless of trying. Alone it it’s way hard.
I moved to a different city. Except for one relative, no active safety net like I have in my hometown.
Single best move I ever did. I need to make my own life and not live in a pre-destined same old place I grew up in with the same family listening to the same accent. Needed endless possibilities and motivation to make my own way.
Result = Very happy for a long time and yes, everything worked out. The place I left was the biggest city in the entire world to go to a smaller city.
Without getting into too many details, I hated my life and wanted a fresh start. I was depressed and all my “friends” sucked.
Packed up and moved across the country to a state I’d never even visited before and didn’t know a single person there.
Now I live not to far from where I left but much, much happier now all around.
My ex never brought home my son (3.5) after Thanksgiving 2023. Found out my relatives were still keeping my son every week. My grandma & aunt both lived in my neighborhood (1 street over). My attorney is disbarred. I do not have parents. Worked at the Walmart they’d all shop frequently (small town). Went to the police. Went to the courthouse. Turned away from every local attorney’s office.
Never been on drugs, but never got my footing right with finances or family. My son was kidnapped for the second time. My relatives are extremely religious. My ex & his family are narcissistic. I was ready to KMS.
I got married & moved to a different state. I have a new baby son. We own a house. Have our own cars. 7 acres. A puppy & a lush garden/orchard. I only see pictures of my eldest (now 5yo) via my aunt’s fb timeline. My relatives refuse to respond to my many requests to be sent pics.
My ex held me hostage for 2yrs. He called me his “n-word slave” & “the perfect r*pe victim.” The PTSD feels like my life flashes b4 my eyes all the time. I miss my beautiful child everyday. My baby & I look at his photos, sing songs about him.
There was no “winning” my son. His father is deranged w an arsenal of enablers. I started over from scratch. My children will know me as a survivor that smiles.
My life was in shambles. My wife’s affair had shattered our family, and our children were collateral damage in our endless arguments. My job, too, was a source of immense stress, offering none of the advantages that typically come with working in a family business. I felt worthless, my self-respect was non-existent, and my mind was so fucked thanks to relentless gaslighting.
I hit rock bottom, a desperate place where I found myself on my knees, contemplating suicide. My pistol, hidden in the closet, seemed to beckon me, promising a quick end to my pain. But as I stood up, a harsh truth hit me that my wife, for all her faults, was also shitty mother to our children. That realization gave me the strength to turn away from the closet and step back from the edge.
The thought of suicide is a heavy, chilling conviction that those left behind might be better off without you. For me, it was my children who saved me, who gave me a reason to keep fighting. To this day it makes me nauseous looking back on this time of my life.
I decided to take control of my life and enrolled in a local university. About halfway through my first semester, my wife left me for another man. I stayed strong, finished what I started, and moved out of our home, leaving her to move her new partner in. I paid the bills and lived at home with my parents while we sorted out our dirty divorce. I was eventually able to evict them both, as neither could hold a job let alone take care of the yard. I gave her a paid-off vehicle, all of our belongings, but I leveraged joint custody. I even let it slide when they withdrew thousands from my savings.
As my senior year approached, I had moved back into that home and reclaimed my independence. I signed the divorce papers in the morning and headed straight to class to finish my finals. I graduated, making the Dean’s and President’s lists, and walked away with a BA in Business & Accounting. I’m now studying for my CPA license.
A month after our divorce finalized, she fled to another city with some guy. I filed for full custody and removed child support from our orders. I was granted the motion since she defaulted. Now, I have my children exclusively, able to make decisions, get them to school on time, and provide a stable, enjoyable environment.
Now was the time to finally cut ties with my family business and move to another town with my new wife. We capitalized on the housing market dynamics and moved up the ladder. My relationship with my siblings and father has improved tremendously. I even make more money now, with less stress, and I’m not even the VP of anything. I gave up luxurious vehicles and other items that made it tough to separate from. But those items weren’t enough for me to endure this shit anymore.
Hitting that bottom was real, but I remind myself that things happen for a reason. Even when you think it’s hell, good things are waiting for you in the future. We don’t always know what’s best for ourselves. I am happily married to the woman of my dreams, share a home with our blended family, and with her support, we’ve accomplished so much in so little time. I was even able to add one more to the fam! My children choose not to see their mom, and I won’t pressure that relationship or hinder it. I’ve given them the tools to make good decisions based on healthy relationships, even though they endured a very stressful one early on. I let them navigate their own path, and I support them. It’s the best decision I could have ever made.
The realization of taking your own life, was the lowest I had ever been. I encourage anyone at that all time low, to reconsider the ones who love you unconditionally. They would be shattered at the thought of losing you. Stay positive and love your life.
Professionally fine but socially delayed. Pretty much started over in ‘18.
I wish I started over in ‘13. Those last 5 years leading into the “reset” may as well have been 15 years.
Edit: socially as in life goals and such. Luckily I am pretty youthful and look 10-12 years younger, but I should be further along on that game of life thing.
I had two moments, one when I left my hometown, I swear I couldn’t stand the gossip and hypocrisy, it was tofo like big brother was there, It took 3 years of odd jobs to reach the national capital.
then when my ex forced me to babysit her sisters, I broke up with her and got heavily in debt to get out of there now I live with my stepbrother and his boyfriend.
Don’t want to talk about what happened but completely removed myself from the social scene. Had to end friendships over a decade old, felt completely isolated in a city where I had grown up. Eventually moved away, found my current partner, had to completely change career path and discovered hobbies I never got the chance to before. Worked a lot on my mental health and rebuilt a couple of the friendships that were valuable to me on healthier terms.
I sincerely believe breaking points are a chance to rebuild and more often than not in a good way. Always prioritise your wellbeing and financial stability over everything. Leave behind anything that threatens that.
I’m not at that point yet but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered it recently. A few of the posts here are quite inspirational
Decided to fully move out of the U.S about 5 months ago. (I’m 27).
Not just due to politics (I hate both parties) but just the entire vibe of the U.S being work life only, also zero culture, dirty cities, men and women hating eachother and overall your success is 99% based off how rich you grew up and what headstart your family gives you
got obsessed with how the rest of the world doesn’t care about any of this stuff when I took my first international trip a few years ago and spent forever saving and planning to move internationally with my Golden Retriever.
We’re currently in Argentina but slowly traveling throughout SA – and overall life is amazing, much slower. So much culture shock seeing how much everyone loves eachother, no one talks about work, genuinely everyone respects eachother and it’s still hard getting used to. Next step is deleting reddit and all socials but i’m so thankful and never want to come back to a country like the U.S.
I left my abusive partner after me punched me in the face. I lost my baby and could not take any more. I should never have got to that point and I regretted not leaving sooner every day
Now I am happily married, moved country at 42 years old, have a fantastic job and never looked back. Also I’m 8 months pregnant! It’s never too late
Husband of over a decade was cheating on me with multiple people, he also subjected me to years of emotional, financial and physical abuse. I traveled abroad for medical treatment and while I was away he got married to his girlfriend in another state WHILE WE WERE STILL MARRIED.
The next five years were hellish as he dragged out the divorce (I filed, he was big mad that I filed and he couldn’t stop me) and spread the most egregious lies about me to his family and all of our mutual friends both in person and posting online. He went out of his way to defame me and break me. Think of the most horrific shit you could be accused of doing, he claimed I did it.
Happy to say I am ten years clear of him and happily divorced. It took a number of years to heal and get past it all but I’d absolutely make the same decision again about leaving and filing for divorce, despite the epic shit show I had to get through to get my freedom. I’m 100% happier now and I have my old self confidence back. My peace (both day to day and inner) is priceless and was worth fighting for. I wouldn’t swap my life now for anything.
My breaking point was my ex husband found his new girlfriend and told me to get out of our home. I said okay. I didn’t fight or anything. I cried, of course, but didn’t yell. I packed my stuff and that day.
Luckily, my family bought me a one way ticket back home and I stayed with my grandma for a bit. I got a job for the peak season (Christmas) and that helped me get good again. Then I started to heavily drink and do drugs. After one of my darkest days on drugs, I met this guy. He seemed nice and funny. I talked to him and he became my boyfriend. He got me clean. We moved in together.
Today, I am a data analyst. 5 years sober. I have a son. A sweet husband who actually likes me back. I left everything I thought was important behind with my 1st husband. Now that I have my family, I can’t imagine my life with that first guy. Im happy now.
I was directing a play and had a meeting with the producer. She began chewing me out and saying that what we had agreed upon wasn’t going to work because she didn’t like it. It wasn’t a logistics issue, she just literally didn’t like it and threatened to fire me if I went through with it.
She had been undermining me the entire time and I was fucking sick of her, so I said fuck it and walked out. She ended up begging me to come back because the cast loved me and hated her, so I agreed to come back as her assistant director on the grounds that she paid me a fuck ton more money and we’d never have to directly interact. Not sure why she agreed to that but she did.
The week after the show closed I moved 500 miles away and started going to film school.
That was 10 years ago and I only just stepped foot back in a theatre for the first time about a month ago. I work in film now, have started producing (i no longer direct) and I live 1500 miles from that wretched woman. I’m so, so much happier.
There actually wasn’t even a breaking point for me. I was with someone for 7 years through my teens and early twenties and I was miserable but I didn’t know I was miserable. Then I slowly started to notice things and one day when I was 22, I thought “my whole life is going to be like this if I don’t make a change.” So the next day I went to my moms, told her I was leaving and I was going to move into my grandparents house 5 hours away in a new state. The day after that I woke up, told him I was leaving to create a better life for myself and that’s what I did. Packed everything in garbage bags, quit the 4 dead end jobs I had and left everything I ever knew and I never looked back.
The day I got to my grandparents they took me to the local community college where i immediately signed up for classes. I wound up meeting the best friends of my life there, lost a shit ton of weight, found a job I loved through school and then I transferred to a university where I got my bachelors degree in biochem.
I now am married to the very best and most supportive human anyone could ever ask for, I have a dog, the best job out of anyone I’ve ever known that takes me to amazing places and I meet incredible people, I’ve traveled the world, but most of all, I created a life of peace filled with success, gratitude and happiness. I am living a life I dreamt of and never thought I could have and it feels so fucking good. I am grateful for everyday and if I had to go through it all again to get where I am today, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
His mom told me herself to leave , she loves her son but she said she’s a woman first and she won’t tolerate watching what was happening to continue.
She still checks in on me to this day.
I’ve done it twice. I just got fed up and knew if I was going to change something it would be me who changed it. Each time I built back better.
Walked away from a 20-year relationship that had turned into an abusive one with my high school sweetheart. I’m 3 years out of it. It took therapy, some luck, a couple of supportive and encouraging friends, and a ton of being intentional with my decisions and emotions. After 2 years of healing, I met the love of my life, and I married him 2 weeks ago.
When my ex and I split, I took the advice that I gave others and didn’t let him steal any more of my life by trying to get revenge, wallowing excessively, or hating on all men. I focused on healing and figuring out who I wanted to be now.
Long story short, my mother lied to me and my stepfather about who my father was. Basically committed parental fraud. It was traumatizing for a lot of reasons, but the worst was knowing I grew up with a father who was abusive instead of my actual father who was just out there.
We got into a huge blowout fight over it that involved her getting physical, so I ran away and couch surfed with friends before staying with my dad and now my grandparents. I also had three other major negative life events happen within maybe three months? I was completely shattered, suicidal, got put into a ward, and honestly said a lot of things to my family I’m not proud of.
That was two years ago and things are actually going decently well. I’m in therapy, I’ve made a lot of new friends, and I have a wonderful cat I adore! I still don’t talk to my immediate family, sometimes I think about how different my life could be if I knew my actual father from the start, and running away without a plan was maybe not the brightest idea, but it was one I needed to make and don’t really regret. Things could be better, but it’s hard to complain about things with a solid friend group and a kitty purring in your ear :>
I tried so hard for 5 years and we really did have a good time but he IGNORED ME. Couldn’t handle my career & working with mostly men. We went on a family trip that my mom paid for, he raised his voice at me in front of my family whom he’d never met. He didn’t want to talk about any ACTUAL real life things.
I woke up the second day we got home and was SICK to my stomach that if I didn’t leave, I’d been soooo fucking depressed the rest of my life.
Fast forward to now and I get to travel for work and make a fuck ton of money. I will NEVER let a man dictate my paycheque ever, again.
I was an RN during COVID. Between the craziness of the pandemic and the exodus of staff shortly after, causing us to be so severely short-staffed that I was doing the work of 2 or 3 nurses each shift and denied vacation for almost a year, I was severely burned out and was having intrusive thoughts about self harm.
Fortunately, I was able to recognize this and I left – quit my job, got a job teaching English in Japan, sold most of my stuff, and off I went. Honestly, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself and being away from home and nursing gave me the space I needed to piece my mental health back together.
I’m back in Canada now and back working as a nurse, though in a different location. I’m doing much better overall, but I’m also now in therapy to address all the craziness since 2020 happened.
I left my then husband. I’d lived in the same place forever so I threw a dart at a map, and moved to a place I had never been and didn’t know anyone. Rented an apartment sight unseen. I had no safety net so had to make it work. 11 years later, I’m still in that same apartment and life is great.
Hey man, sometimes you gotta burn it down and start from scratch.
That’s growth baby.
I had just graduated school in a town that didn’t have much of an industry for my educational background. The lease was up on my apartment and all my friends I made from school were moving away. The only options I had was either go back to my hometown and stay in a toxic friend group, or move to the other side of the country. I chose the latter and I’ve been here for almost twenty years. I have zero regrets. Made healthy friendships, got a job in my field and settled down with my current partner. The toxic friends I had in my hometown stayed there and from what I hear, haven’t been living good lives. If you have the opportunity to start somewhere new with a clean slate, take it.
Can’t say that I “walked away from everything”, sometimes I was tossed
I guess four or five times.
Drugs, people, sometimes my own shear stupidity.
I… um… I’m doing good, though I’m starting to think being able to walk away so easily may be part of the problem
Had an alcoholic father and unstable mother who both wanted me to overlook decades of neglect and abuse to take care of them in their elderly years. Sold dnag near everything and moved across the country. Couldn’t have made a batter decision.
I had ignored the red flags for years. I was the primary breadwinner. He would flip items, but used my money and spent any earnings on himself. I was so busy trying to take care of everything I had not realized how bad things had truly become. He was emotionally and financially abusive, but 3 1/2 years in he became physically abusive.
I was home alone avoiding the world because I had a black eye. I was so ashamed that my life had devolved into pure fear and chaos. A mutual friend stopped by and although I had been hiding something told me it was safe to open the door. He did not say anything about the black eye and just started chatting about life in general.
He suddenly got serious and said “you work so hard and have nothing to show for it. It does not have to be this way. Imagine how much money you would have if it was just you. The day you are ready to leave let me know and I will get you out of here safely.” In that moment I knew I was not as alone as I thought.
It still took me another month to get my courage up to leave. The breaking point was another black eye, broken blood vessels in my eyes and bruises around my neck. My partner (ex now) calmly looked at me broken, crying, bruised and said in a calm and cold voice ”I could kill you and bury you in the backyard and no one would ever miss you”.
I waited until he fell asleep. I quietly crawled into the bedroom looking for my spare pair of glasses since my partner would always take them when he thought I might leave. I can only see 12 inches in front of me without glasses. It was an effective way for him to control my ability to leave. I found an old cell phone with no service, but knew 911 calls would go through.
I grabbed the keys to my 20 year old Expedition, which I never drove because it was old and had engine troubles. My ex had disabled the speedometer as another way to keep me captive. I knew once I started the truck there was no going back. I sat in the driver’s seat crying and praying for strength to turn the key. I drove off and did not look back.
I drove to a convenience store a few miles down the street and called 911. I requested an officer to help me get to the local DV shelter. Of course my ex tracked me down at the shelter. My advocate arranged a bed for me in a shelter out of state. I sold my truck for $400 to a junk car buyer. I did not have the title, but the buyer knew I was in a shelter and let it slide. I took a greyhound bus and prayed that I had escaped for good.
It has been 4 years this month since I left. My life is so much better now. I do not cry everyday anymore. I do not have to try and cover up bruises with makeup anymore. I am free and happy. I still have rough days, but they are infinitely better than my best days with him.
I never reached out to the friend that encouraged me to leave. If Harold happens to see this thank you for caring and reminding me I had worth🧡
Edit: anyone that is experiencing domestic violence in the US, please reach out to The Hotline it is the national domestic violence hotline. If you are not from the US, the r/AbusiveRelationships sub has DV resources worldwide.
Got into a horrible accident when I was 19. Tire popped, car flipped 3-4 times into a ditch and I ended up pinned under a camper. Miraculously, I had a few scrapes and bruises but was otherwise fine. They had a body bag ready for me since I lost consciousness for a while. Lost everything. I was on a trip at the time (on my way there), so phone, laptop, etc were all gone. Car was totaled too.
Called my mom using the first responder’s phone. No answer. Called my step dad – just said I would figure out my way to where I was going, wanted to let them know I didn’t have my phone but I was okay and would be back on the day I planned. I was obviously very out of it/assuming my friend would drive the few hours to come get me.
Well, he and my mom came and got me and he proceeds to yell at me about how I “want to be an adult but expect to be treated like a child.” I’d been financially independent and in college/working full time since 18. Not a troublemaker, no drugs, stereotypical good kid. Just because he came to get me which I not only did not ask him to do but did not need him to do. This is, believe it or not, one of the less shitty things he’s said over the years.
Long story short I moved halfway across the country 2 months later. Still speak to him maybe twice a year. He’s raised me since I was 4 and can’t even remember my birthday.
One of my best friends committed suicide a week and a half before I started my new job closer to my boyfriens. Started the job anyway, since I knew that if I stopped moving for too long I wouldn’t get up again. Hated the job. Boyfriend turned nasty as soon as I moved, broke up with him a couple months ago. Saw my friend for the first time in 6 months and learned that he was cremated the same day I started the job. Quit and moved to a new city.
I’m doing okay. Surrounded by my family and his. His daughter calls me aunty and his wife and I are tight. I didn’t realize that I had a breaking point that would make me absolutely fuck off from my life, but I guess everyone does. Since I’m not burnt out and run off my feet constantly, I have time to sit with my feelings a lot. It’s nice, and very hard.
My heart goes out to ya’ll who have started over, this is hard. But if I can’t have my friend back, at least I can live a life that I actually want. I’d give it all for one more night of bullshit wisdom from him though.
I left and for the first time in decades, I felt peace and happiness. From there, I started working on myself. I cut ties with anyone who didn’t add value or positivity to my life. I found a life coach who completely shifted how I see myself. After some trial and error, I connected with an incredible therapist. I joined a support group. And when I finally learned to see my own worth and truly love myself, I met a partner who reflects that love back to me.
It wasn’t a perfect path, there were still plenty of trials and errors, but I did it. I’m still doing the work because I know it’s lifelong, especially since I didn’t grow up with the tools to be my authentic self. But I’m no longer in survival mode. I’m living as the person I was meant to be, happy and free.
It was terrifying to walk away from what was familiar and comfortable, even though it was toxic. But I did. And now, I look back and pat myself on the back for leaving, for growing, and for choosing me. I did it!!!
he was planning to kill me. nothing i have or no one i knew is worth my life.
i still spend a lot of time in bed trying not to puke. but at least im free. i havent been homeless in months and i just got promoted at work. its worth walking away. my life is mine. i deserve it, and i deserve to have as good a life as i can make.
I was living with my at the time girlfriend and her son. One day I came home and found her hiding a man in the closet. We tried to make things work (dumb decision) and we inevitably ended up ending our lease early. I moved back in with my parents. I was working a dead end job (with my ex), and when I went out with friends to try and get my mind off things, they would sometimes invite my ex because they were friends as well. I couldn’t escape her.
I went crazy. Mad even.
When looking for apartments one day, my sister texted me asking to move to Denver with her for she just accepted a job offer out there. I told her id absolutely love to.
I take a whole fully furnished 2 bedroom apartment and condense it into what would fit into my chevy malibu. The rest I donated, gifted, and threw away.
I moved to Denver a year and a half ago. Ive since dated again, im still working crapy jobs, but im starting school in August at the prime age of 29.
Life’s not perfect but im in a much better space than I was not even 2 years ago and im working on becoming a better version of myself. Its never too late to turn things around.
I was not being gentle with my mental health, it was a wake up call. I’m healthier, happier alone.
I was 15 & left with nothing but what could fit in my school bag. After being strangled to a point of blacking out (amongst other abuse leading up to this event), I warned my father if he touched me again I’d go to the police. He instead attacked my cat to hurt me. That was the breaking point for me.
Life was very hard for the first 7 years – somedays I’m surprised I made it. I’m 32 now. Married, with a child, another on the way. Life is good. I’m very cut throat with people now though, you fuck me over, I’ll go no contact without any argument or confrontation. All I want is peace in my life. I’ve never seen or spoken to my father since. Reconnected with my brother 2 years ago which has been nice. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I wish it on anyone else, Gods no.
Had a high paying job with a famous entertainment company – absolutely hated the culture and the mgmt. (or lack thereof). Quit – my wife and I drove back across the country and to Canada. Lived with her folks for 6 months – both started our own businesses , got clients, rented a place, had a kid and made more than ever before in a corporate job. Finally saw the matrix – and was so proud. Felt like I was taking a step back, but sometimes you have to go backwards in order to actually go forwards.
years of stuff, been called stupid, him screaming at my parents and laughing at them when they didnt have jobs, staying out every night until 11pm at the pub, just a bunch of gas lighting, the final straw came when he said i was getting in the way of his house renovations… the house had been an un-finished building site 2 years to me even prior being there. I packed up all my stuff into my honda civic, put his key under the mat and sent a text, i stayed with my parents for a bit then moved on to a friends. I didnt really have a lot as years prior he had convinced me to sell all my furniture because he didnt have the space for it, those things are easy enough to start again with its only stuff
Dude— walking away and removing myself from my toxic family is the best gift I have ever given myself. No regrets, I’m fuckin thriving mentally and emotionally, plus my physical health improved immensely too. I mean seriously, letting go of all my things and all those people did amazing things for me. I’m really grateful to myself for making that decision. I started over with only what fit in my car and moving across the country to a state nobody who knew me would be able to guess. Not that they’d go looking anyway.
Sometimes I’m a little lonely but not lonely enough that I’d undo anything.
I was in a job I did not like with a boss who was frankly an asshole
(How much of an asshole? Among other things I had to apologise to auditors for the way he treated them just for doing their job – auditing our department. He bullied his employees but was a crawling sycophant to his own bosses.)
Anyway the final straw was vacations, when HE took a 4 week vacation, and my coworker in the same dept took a 4 week vacation, but I was not allowed to take a 4 week (even though I had the leave) Because “We can’t do without you that long”. When I asked why THEY could take a 4 week vacation but I could not I was told “we’re married and have kids but you don’t you’re single so you don’t need a 4 week vacation”
Found another job, put in two weeks notice and left. So they went from losing me for 4 weeks to losing me for good.
My new job was teaching TEFL English in China. I was there for 20 years. Life was great. Met a girl, bought an apartment, had kids, enjoyed my life.
Abusive af family I left when I was 16 cut all contact and now I run my own business and live in a different state to them