In a bit of a weird situation. I live in a smallish town, where everyone pretty much knows everyone. There’s another girl that ALWAYS behaved weird towards me. We’re both early 30s.
We were never friends, but she’d sometimes go out of her way to contact me on socials or via phone, only to ignore when I reply. If we’re at the same event, she’d walk right past or even brush past me, while not saying anything. but she’s always sending me friend or follow requests on social media, or leaving comments on my posts. it’s to the point where I’ve blocked or deleted her on my personal profiles.
She’s pretty popular and likes to pretend that she’s aloof and sophisticated, but really she gives off mean girl energy and often lies and manipulates others. Others that have spoken to me about her all note how she’s disingenuous and just seems fake and unkind all around, but because of good connections, she gets a lot of opportunities sent her way.
Now I have a business in which I make and sell products with my own original artwork. She comes to my booth whenever I have pop up events, and she’s bought some of my products. She messaged me last year saying that she liked one of my art pieces so much she’d like to get it as a tattoo and if I’d be okay with it. Tbh I know she’s the sort of person that if I told her no, she’d spitefully go and get it done anyway as an F you to me (yeah, she’s that weird), so I told her to go ahead.
A whole year later, she messaged my business page again asking me to send the full res image of my artwork so she can get the tattoo. The joke is that I literally saw her in person a few days ago and she brushed right past me without so much as a hello, but now she’s asking me to share my original artwork file with her.
I refuse to send her the file as I only share those artwork files with my suppliers, but there are a few pictures on my profile that you can see the artwork printed on products, so she really could go ahead and take a screenshot and use it if she’s so determined.
Basically i’m asking how I can tell her no that I’m not sending it to her? I don’t know if I should mention that I spoke to my lawyer about it or something that would make her back off? The thing is, I can’t really stop her from getting the tattoo if she really wants it, and she’s weird enough that she’d find some way to do it behind my back and show off that she could still get it done without my help.
She’s such a strange person that almost likes to show off that she can treat people badly and still be successful. I’d like to not EVER have to interact with her but our town is way too small for it
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Could you have her pay for the artwork design image? “Full res images are $xx” maybe?
If you don’t really care either way and she’s just plain rude and annoying, I’d send a message saying “Hi! Thanks for your interest. I am no longer sending hi res images for use to anyone other than my suppliers. Sorry for the inconvenience!” And then just block her everywhere. No need to go any further, no need to interact otherwise.
“Hi, I reserve full res images for suppliers so I won’t be sending it to you.”
Maybe I’m being sinister here, but does a person really need a high res file for a tattoo artist to make a tattoo?
I don’t have tattoos, so I honestly wouldn’t know.
I feel like the answer to that question is probably “no,” and I’d wonder if she was planning to do something else with that high res image.
I feel like it’s pretty safe to say something along the lines of “Unfortunately, I’m only able to send high res images to my suppliers for legal reasons, but feel free to use the one on my website for your tattoo” or something along those lines… that way, if she really does get the tattoo, you’re kind of “giving her permission” so she can’t throw it back in your face.
My sister got a tattoo of my mom’s handwriting that was on a scrap of paper, so I’m really wondering if tattoo artists need high res images .
ignore her who cares
“Thank you for your interest in my work. Upon review of my intellectual property rights and creative control, I must decline your request.”
Hopefully the legal implication there will make her back off. You haven’t outright threatened her with anything but it might give her pause. And that way you’ve got receipts of telling her no if she decides to go ahead and do it, or trash you to mutuals.
You’re right, you can’t really stop her. But you can make it less comfortable.
No, I can’t do that. And just limit her access to your profile etc.
If it’s a small enough town, go to the tattoo shop(s), show them her profile pic and tell them she doesn’t have permission to steal your art.
I’m also somewhat of an artist and I do t even want my own work tattooed on me. (My photography is tattooed on me, but not drawings.) simply because the tattoo artist is also going to infuse their style a bit and don’t won’t really be my work anymore.
Anyway.
You might try copyrighting/trademarking the specific piece she wants. IDK how you’d enforce that if she went ahead and got it anyway. Cheese slicer maybe? I’m kidding.
I would just not respond.
i dunno, she sounds as awkward as i have been sometimes when i REALLY REALLY liked someone but my autism/social anxiety combo and my chronic online-ness made me be this awkward. maybe not exactly the same behavior but i see myself in this and feel deeply cringe towards myself. i know now what was going on for me – i really really wanted this person to show interest in conversing with me, and hear my interest in them – but in text, chat, or online somehow. i could not bring msyelf to start a freindship in person because i have honestly had better luck starting online my whole life. she makes me want to hug her but she needs to find some local groups who share her interests and do a lot of their organizing online, to find irl connections over time at her own pace.
Just give a form business response “high res files unfortunately can only be shared with suppliers – to inquire about a business partnership, please send an email to XYZ. Thanks!” And leave it at that
Honestly I’d just ignore her from now on. If she confronts you about it in person, respond with an oh sorry I don’t remember seeing any messages from you—don’t deviate from that or attempt to explain further. With a person like this, I would definitely not give any sort of reply/reason she could try to argue. I think you are spot on with your assessment of her treating-people-badly behaviors; in my experience the only way to get these kinds of people to leave you alone is to become too boring for them to bother with.