Hi friends,
I (28F) am in the early stages of dating someone (27F), and I’m in a situation I’ve never been in before.
I talked to this person for about a month before we met up, and I’ve been crushing pretty hard on her if I’m being honest. We met in person a few days ago and while she’s pretty, cute, dresses nicely, and has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen… For some reason, I just didn’t feel a real big physical attraction spark. I don’t know why. I’m super, super into her personality, her energy, her everything outside of that – even in places we differ it doesn’t feel like a mismatch, it feels like a compliment.
But I can’t get out of my own head about the physical thing because I feel like an asshole. She holds my hand or touches my arm and I get electric jolts all the way up my body, I get butterflies when I think about her sometimes too, which is all typically a great sign for me. Idk man, am I just… Way overthinking it? Does attraction build over time or am I screwed? I hate this about my brain and I just need to get it out there.
TL;DR: Is the physical attraction spark something that builds over time or is someone screwed if it doesn’t hit right away even if you really dig the person emotionally?
Comments
>For some reason, I just didn’t feel a real big physical attraction spark. I don’t know why
The reason is that you are not attracted to her.
>Does attraction build over time or am I screwed?
I have never had to force myself to be attracted to someone.
Sometimes I’ve been attracted to close friends without the attraction to intimacy or romantic interest. Just like you, stimulating conversation and interactions but there’s just something that feels like a brick wall is between us. Not a bad thing but a holdback of some sort that weans my romantic interest away.
You can always learn how to see someone! My mom didn’t find my dad attractive and look where they are: I’m 19 yo, 2 siblings and never divorced