Obviously not on the same level, as I can’t imagine your housebroken monstera ever took a dump in the middle of the room when your roommate brought a date full of red flags home, but do your plants ever provide you with stories? IE, did your wilty fern suddenly perk up when you finally dumped that shitty guy or started listening to Fall Out Boy on speakers, or does your rose start looking brighter when you cook curry often?
I have curiosity.
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My pink fittonia is my spirit plant.
She is the most dramatic of the bunch and reflects my personality perfectly. If she goes slightly too long without water she is so droopy and sad and pretends to be dead. Giver her a spritz (in my case, aperol) and she perks up and is ready to party. Plus she is visually interesting which i aspire to be with my wardrobe.
We are kindred spirits for sure.
Ugh yes. One time I didn’t water my calathea for slightly too long, then it drooped and never got back up. It was super dramatic anyway so I assumed it needed something else – more water, less water, more light, less light. I tried EVERYTHING and that bitch stayed droopy, so I just let it dehydrate because I got mad every time I looked at it. She was pretty though. I miss her sometimes.
It’s sick and sad but I have both stories and pictures of my plants growing up I can whip out in the office and bore the fuck out of anyone trying to show me some picture of a baby or child.
I used to work in a building that required a security check at the entrance, meaning I had to put my briefcase in an X-ray machine, walk through a metal detector, and get checked by a Sheriff’s deputy every morning.
One day, I decided to get a plant for my office, a little 4-inch potted cactus. So, I put the cactus in the tray with my briefcase and sent it into the X-ray machine.
The deputy picked up the cactus by gripping the plant with his fingers, impaling his fingertips on the cactus spines.
And that’s how my humble office plant attacked security on his first day at work.
I mean, I have a black thumb, but I try and still have stories.
Take my herb garden, so I failed at a lot but a small herb garden, I thought, I can’t mess that up.
Then one day a bird built a nest in the middle.
Like even nature is encouraging my back thumb. And yes I told this story this weekend lol
Mine have been more perky since I started playing love songs.lol Like actually growing.
That’s the only thing I changed recently.
My ex gave me this giant fiddle leaf fig when he moved out of state. Within 30d it dropped half ita leaves. I decided to chop off the rest of the limbs and repot them into 4 different ones. Good riddance to bad rubbish. My ex was awful!