I have pretty bad anxious attachment because over and over people abandon me. I’ve never dated and can’t make friends. I’m 33. I try very hard to just sit in the silence and I’ve been doing really good with that lately. What I mean by that is conversations are a tennis match and I used to hit the ball to their side more than once but I don’t do that anymore. I hit the ball to them and I wait for them to hit it back—metaphorically
Talking to two girls now from Hinge and it’s been a few months with one of them. I started to get the feeling though that she has trouble expressing her needs. So I said it’s completely ok to express your needs to me.
Is that a normal thing to say?
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It’s not a normal thing to say, but it’s not a bad thing to say either. Women are often taught to believe that asking for anything ever is “nagging” and “controlling” when it’s really just expressing what they need. If someone told me that I can always speak to them about what I need, it would be massively relieving and a breath of fresh air.