Porn has ruined my mental health and making me feel worthless

I’m 18(m) and when I was younger I was SA by my cousins and I’m pretty sure this contributed to my hyper sexualization and I started masturbating when I was in 5th or 6th grade but I watched some bestiality and normal porn but the bestiality stopped and now I started watching it animated and I feel so ashamed and gross about this, but also one other thing when I was in 10th grade my employer had a daughter and I told him about our school how it had 2 buildings one for the freshman and one for the other grade 10-12 and he said that she would be going to that school so I was like cool she’s someone my age just a 2 or 1 year younger. So my horny ass had like fantasy about her and her mom thought everything was normal but just a bit weird looking back at it. But then my co worker said somthing a bit back about her and seems like she is not as old as I thought and I feel sick and disgusting. I stopped eating because I’m not worthy and I don’t know what to do I feel like a creep and am ashamed of the bestiality I watched and also the incest hentai I watch to. I also am having trouble getting off not only if it’s weird stuff. What do I do I just want to be normal.