Will you be okay if the girl you marry wants to continue to contribute financially to her single mother, who single handedly raised her and her younger brother all alone?
Like a say a limited set of money (eg 15% to 20%) from her earnings.
It could be either to give some financial security or to support her younger brother grow up or whatever.
Do you think a woman should only focus on her husband and his family and not her maternal family?
Do you think taking care of parents is only guys responsbility and never girl’s once she gets married?
Please give me an honest answer, what is your personal opinion on this. (27F) TL;DR
Comments
Personally for me it would be okay. Giving back some money to family, who literally raised you and cared for you when you couldn’t should be seen as a red flag. I would also want to help my family in times of need.
Of course it’s fine. It’d be your own money going to your own family. It’s morally good and you have authority over your own means.
Not a guy, but I’m your age and was raised by a single mom, and her sacrifices made my life possible, so if she needs support, I will always do as much as I can. Any guy who doesn’t understand that isn’t worth my time. This isn’t a gender issue about the roles of women and men; this is a moral issue about supporting your mom who raised you. If you love her, you’ll do everything you can to help her and ignore any man who says otherwise.
You will get a variety of answers, but my thought is this: unless the person you marry has no family or has already cut off the family from their life, you are marrying into the family. So take that into consideration as you find a partner.
That means for you: a guy will need to look at you, your family, the relationship you have with each other, and his place within that paradigm, then choose if that’s a fit for him.
You marrying someone means the family gets bigger. You do need to decide if and when you focus more on your own family. Do you intend to have kids? They will absolutely become a bigger priority than your mother.
Your last question seems absurd.
I’m very pro the concept of each having their finances separate and one joint account where some money gets put into for mutual spending. What you do with your money up to you.
Um, where are you from that it would be normal to expect a woman to take care of her husband’s family but not her own?
Well I as a husband capable enough to take care of my family basic needs and few luxuries. Then I am not concerned with what my wife is doing with her salary. Whether she is spending on herself/saving or sharing with her family. Also whether its a daughter or son its their responsibility to take care of their parents. I wont mind taking care of my in laws financially if my wife is not earning. But should be capable enough for that! Therefore I don’t see anything wrong in it! And choosing the Right is the most difficult thing. You need to understand his upbringing and meet his family and share some time with them. Go out for dinner, shopping or movies. And see how they behave in public and when it comes to spending. Have more and more conversations before taking a decision to marry a person. This one decision can make or break your life! Take care… wish you all luck, love and success in life!
15-20% is fine and will not cripple your budget.