trigger warning: racism
TLDR: how do i deal with my boyfriends mum who’s a raging racist and absolutely loathes me?
context: me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now. he’s 21 and i’m F22, we’re interracial, he’s white and i’m brown. he lives with his parents at the moment but plans to move out soon.
my boyfriend’s mother is a horrible, horrible person. she verbally degrades him and picks on the tiniest things about him whenever she gets the chance, is micro aggressively racist towards me whenever i’m around her, and is just a plain horrible person. over the past year we’ve been together she’s tried to force him to break up with me, tried to keep us apart without being able to see each other, tells him he’s forbidden from spending his own money on me (he still does anyway) and constantly complains about me to him about the most irrelevant things. she’s called me racist slurs behind my back, and has tried to forbid me from being over at his house. these are just a very few from the hundreds i could list.
i have tried my best to make her like me, but honestly nothings worked. before anyone says anything, i have not done anything to provoke her to treat me this way. she’s been like this since day 1. anytime someone says something in response to her when she’s nasty, she brushes it off and continues.
now, i do try my best to avoid her but unfortunately because he lives with his parents i do see her often.
she’s not only horrible to me but to her own son as well, which puts a strain on me AND him. she’s honestly aggravating and i’m losing my mind. it’s a stranger situation to be in, because his dad is a great guy that likes me and supports us.
there was a time when her being horrible has caused problems between me and my bf but now we’ve risen above it and understood that we’re not the problem, she is. but it’s still distressing for the both of us.
my boyfriend stands up for me and protects me, but it doesn’t seem to deter her. i worry that someday, it’ll all get to him and be too much to handle, and he’ll just give up.
would appreciate to hear from other girls in the same situation and how you deal with this ☹️
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as freedofdark posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe freedofdark JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
When you have children, she will be racist towards them.
You have to decide if this is something you are prepared to accept.