He’s a great partner otherwise and a good man all around but when I try to have an actual conversation, I see his eyes glaze over. If I manage to get a couple sentences out, he’ll interrupt with a completely formed thought of his own or a story only marginally relevant to what I was saying. I’ve tried keeping my conversations short, quick and to the point but it would be nice to just have him actively listen for once. I practice active listening myself and have been told many times that I’m a great listener and a great conversationalist. How can this be improved?
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I don’t understand how someone who you can’t communicate with can be a good partner?
You can improve by putting the trash out.
He’s not a great partner if he’s interrupting you and not listening
Carry around one of those little air horns and give him a blast whenever he interrupts.
girl. you deserve someone who listens to you when you talk. if he doesn’t care enough about you to provide the most basic effort then is he really a great partner?
Sounds like a “he’s great, except for 90% of the time”.
If he’s interrupting you with already formed thoughts about whatever you guys are talking about, it seems like he’s not interested in actually hearing you out. That’s insanely disrespectful, regardless of the importance of whatever is being talked about. Imagine not wanting to hear the insight of a loved one on a topic.
My guess is that he became numb to certain things in life (either due to stress or to other things happening) and he stopped caring about nurturing the relationship. Maybe he hit a comfortable place in the relationship and doesn’t feel like maintaining it, so he’s apathetic.
Talk to him and explain how this affects you. As a supposedly great partner, it’s safe to guess that things WILL improve for a while, but it’s his responsability to identify what made him stop caring in the first place.
Train him. Maybe hold a Minecraft or subway surfer game video as you talk to maintain his attention span…like those tiktok videos.
Or Pavlov train him…give him treats every time you talk so he’ll associate your talking with a reward.
Third option…dump him and find someone with a longer attention span.
Time how long each of you talk; record it over like a week and bring it up to explain how you barely get any words in.
My father is like this and he is a narcissist. I did not realize it until later in my life. He never asks up follow up questions but instead has a story of his own.
Raising your standards is one way. How can someone who only listens to a tenth of what you say even know who you are or like you?
Girl…
It can improve by finding someone interested in hearing what you have to say