So, my boyfriend and I were fighting because I said I wasn’t comfortable masturbating on FaceTime. Yeah, you read that right.
We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and apparently, I should be dying to do that in front of him. He literally said:
“If you wanted to, you’d do it regardless of your comfort.”
“We’ve been together this long, and you still won’t do it?”
“You should WANT me to see that. Like a real girlfriend would.”
I guess me having boundaries is such a crime, huh?
So I apologized (because apparently, that’s my job), and then he fake-‘apologized’ when he realized I wasn’t having it. The catch? He was only sorry because it made him feel bad. Not because he hurt me.
So, Reddit… am I in the wrong here? Or is he just a walking red flag that I can’t seem to ignore? And wtf should I do rn?
Cz THIS is insane.
Comments
You’re not in the wrong. You do what you’re comfortable with, not what someone wants you to do.
Red flag. It’s your body. You choose your own boundaries and him trying to manipulate you into it says a lot about his character and mindset.
I don’t mean to be dramatic but what a garbage partner. Respect is a basic for any type of relationship. Romantic or platonic.. and he isn’t even providing you that.
Does he really like you if he can’t respect you?
Leave? Him not understanding the concept of boundaries and consent is concerning.
He got mad because you didn’t want to consent to a sexual activity you weren’t comfortable with or into at that time.
Erm throw the whole man away.
Red flag you need to leave him before he demands something worse and tries to emotionally manipulate you. You deserve someone who respects your boundaries
If he had found a way to record you and then tried to blackmail you into doing it again or posting it in some online forum it’s called revenge porn, and it’s illegal. Please don’t put yourself in a position where you can be manipulated over a video that has been recorded.
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We should discuss this more on FaceTime..10 o’clock good??😜
Why are you still dating him?
You are not the villain. You are the victim. The victim of a bad relationship.
No. You should never do stuff like that online. It’s incredibly easy for screenshots to be taken or a screen recording to be made and then that’s out there forever.
He comes off as extremely immature.
Nope. I don’t and won’t do this either. There’s nothing sexy about masturbation imo, I don’t care what he/she wants but if I’m uncomfortable I’m not doing it.
Your boyfriend needs to be your ex-boyfriend very badly…
No one is owed sex in any form.
You’re not compatible
You are not in the wrong. You are setting boundaries, which are vital for healthy relationships.
Also, don’t forget anything can be screen recorded, shared, or used against you. Stay safe, trust your gut.
Ooh girl, he got boundary issues. 😬