As I get older, I realize that no man has ever really liked me, cared about me, and most definitely has never loved me. Or maybe I’ve just never felt seen, appreciated, cared for, or loved by a man.
This started with my childhood and in my family- I never felt chosen or loved by my dad and my brother and I do not get along.
Anyone I’ve ever been with, I think it was some type of dysfunctional dynamic- but not care or love. I’ve been married, too.
Makes me a little sad to have this realization!
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Just an FYI, it can be love and also be dysfunctional. People who don’t have their sh*t together are capable of giving and receiving love, but you don’t have to be in a relationship with them.
I have a mom and a sister that love me, but I have nothing in common with them and they actively don’t treat me well. I still love them, but I choose to limit my involvement with them.
Same
Genuinely curious – did you not feel loved when you were with your exes? If you didn’t think they cared, why didn’t you break it off sooner? (Not judging, just wanting to understand). Or did you think they loved you at the time, but in hindsight, you don’t feel it was love?
Yeah it’s disheartening to read posts about reading the signs of men who don’t care or who have no genuine interest. But I think it’s also good to know the signs so you’re not wasting more time on someone.
That’s scary considering a lot of the posts on here r very vapid and surface level or have been said 8 trillion times👀👀
I don’t mean that in a shady way either but it is kinda sus
Same! Biological father never claimed me, stepfather was emotionally distant. Been single all my adult life.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve come to this realisation. What makes you feel this way?
Having a distant childhood can lead to anxious attachments which can both make it hard to find love but also to feel it if you’re able to find it. I’d definitely talk to a professional about this or do some research on anxious attachment styles if you don’t have a mental health professional in your life.
It’s not you, it’s them. Now you have us! And you’re in good company cause most of us have never been truly loved by a man either.
This is a deep internal belief about yourself you are addressing. I don’t deny your past relationships haven’t been disfunctional, but it is not that black and white. People in your life still choose you, even though it might not sound like it. They also had their issues and treated you poorly.
Be very careful with how you internalize this belief because it will sabotage you, your future relationships and most of all the relationship with yourself. And believing this will make you choose other people that will fulfill this belief or you will start to sabotage the relationship with them until they will “not choose” you, or you will start to isolate completely and get a “nice” depression that will eat you alive. Stay strong in front of your internal belief enemies.
It is possible same of the damage from your childhood broke your “picker” of partners. This happened to me. I worked with a therapist to help figure it out, and I purposely picked someone I didn’t have over the top feelings for, just liked a lot. The over the top feeling was my signal that this relationship wasn’t good for me.
I’ve been married 23 years now and I could not love this man more. Maybe have a chat with your therapist about it.
I think many men aren’t capable of simply liking a woman as a person, because they don’t really see us as fully formed people the same as men.
Same. My stepdad and my father disliked me a lot as a child and it’s continued into my adulthood because I’ve only become more outspoken. My father doesn’t speak to me and my stepdad is quick to temper when it comes to me but oh well! I’ve never had a boyfriend that prioritised me or loved me the way I needed. I’ve never had a boyfriend I felt safe and secure with or who I felt I could honestly trust. I know I’m still young but it’s crazy to see the difference in my life compared to the people around me who have many positive male influences