Realized I don’t trust my future with my SO

My boyfriend and I have been through a lot of ups and downs in the last year alone. He was emotionally and psychologically abusing me for half the year. I told him countless times to stop treating me like that and he never stopped until recently. We finally had a real deep talk the other day and I stood up for myself I told him the things he does that I hate/ what really bothers me and fit once it feels like he truly heard me. We live together and everything is in his name because he owns the house. We talked about changing providers for internet last night and I was excited I said I can put the bill in my name. I went to go do it but they want a credit check. My credit is below 600 right now because I’m in a consumer proposal and I always get denied things when I have tried in the past. I want to tell him that I dont want my credit checked because its so low and I don’t want another hit on my credit. I panicked when I saw the page of credit check. I realized if my name is on a bill, I can’t leave when I wasnt because I will have to pay early cancelation fees to get out of the contract if/when I leave. Last night I realized I dont want anything in my name or I am stuck here and I am not over all the abuse. I picture it a lot in my head especially when I feel down at all. It really has put a damper on me as a person and he has said in the past that is the past and I need to move forward. I have been really missing my parents back home over 30 hours away and I want to be home. I realized last night I’m not as in love as I thought I was and its not fair to me to stay in this relationship because he wants to be with me. My brain has protected itself to stop allowing me to cry over it so much but I still do when I think about it. We tried to build this life together but his abuse went way too far and I am not happy. I love him but I am not in love anymore. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, I’m going to talk to her but she told me in the past it is my decision and only my decision. I just don’t want him to suffer because I leave but I know he will struggle with things if I do leave. We have a lot going on right now, its teamwork to do it and leaving would really put him down but I need to be ok with my life because its my life… I’m lost what to do…