Hi All,
I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) for a little over a year now. He has had some personal issues which have definitely tested our relationship but I feel like he is personally in a better spot and the same for us as a partnership. He’s had some issues with substance abuse for long before we started dating and recently had a pretty bad run-in with the law because of it. These issues have never made him a bad BF, he is a very sweet, caring and loyal boy but unfortunately has made some bad decisions early in life. My BF has been in a residential rehabilitation program for a couple months and is due in a few weeks to complete so he wants to start applying for jobs in the coming weeks.
I’ve been working at my current company for about 6 months full-time and I love it. They’re very supportive and have offered me a part-time role while I put myself through uni, so I’m planning to work there fairly long-term until I finish my studies (3-6 years). It’s a pretty cruisy job, I work 3 days from home a week, 2 in-office in an online customer service role. Though, it definitely requires empathy as I provide a specific service at my company which supports our clients through personal, educational and professional troubles. My team is made up of about 5 people, with only 2 (myself included), based in the same state. Now, the other person based in my state has been promoted, meaning that their role (the same as mine) has just opened up. When speaking with my BF about his job prospects, I mentioned the opening at my company without thinking and now he is pretty set on working with me.
It is hard to find such a great employer so I understand the appeal. His reasoning for wanting the job is because he gets to work with his GF, its a pretty easy job (it is), its good pay, good benefits, working from home and he wants to build his social skills and overall confidence in talking to people (I definitely have).
While I always try to be positive and I do think that he has made a change for the better, I really don’t know how everything will pan out once he is back in society. I would love to give him a shining recommendation to my manager because, of course, as his GF I want to help him in any way possible but I just don’t know if this will affect my job. His track record isn’t great when it comes to keeping jobs/attendance, granted, he was heavily using at the time. Assuming he won’t be using anymore, I believe he has good work ethic. I’m not too worried about all of the workplace relationship drama and such as I can heavily avoid him at work, I likely will have to be training him for a month or so but afterwards we can pick our office days to avoid each other. My worry is that by giving him a recommendation, should he be a poor employee, will this affect my job? Will this affect our relationship? Should I recommend him for the job?
TL;DR: My BF wants a job at my company but has had some personal issues which I think may affect his work performance and therefore jeopardise my job for recommending him.
Comments
Judging from what you’ve said about him, getting him a job with your employer would be more problematic than what you think.
If he fucks up it’s going back on you for recommending him. If he’s late, it’ll become your problem. If he causes conflict in the workplace, it becomes your problem, if you like your job and it sounds like you do. Don’t get him a job there.
Protect the job that funds school. Do not stake your reputation on your boyfriend’s recovery arc. Encourage him to apply on his own without a referral and let the process speak. Offer help with resume and mock interviews but keep a firm boundary about working on the same team. If he thrives you both win. If he stumbles your job and relationship survive.