I dated this guy I went to high school with. After graduation, he got married and they had a couple of kids. She cheated on him and gave him the clap. He divorced her and moved out, but was still a really good and dedicated father.
He told me when we first started dating that his kids would always come first, no matter what that meant. I thought, “well yeah, naturally.” But over time, I realized this meant he didn’t have any room in his life for me because he was still very dedicated to his kids and his ex-wife. All she had to do was call, and he’d come running. She used his good nature and dedication to his kids to manipulate him.
She’d call him while we were out on dates and he’d leave me there. She’d call him while we were getting ready to walk out the door and he’d cancel on me. He wouldn’t make plans with me without consulting her first in case she needed him to take the kids or come over and fix something in the house or whatever. He wouldn’t even go to a bar with me without telling her where he’d be in case of an emergency, so she always knew when we were spending time together, and she didn’t like it.
After she pulled her trick several times, we were talking and I asked him if he realized that’s what she was doing. He said “Yeah, of course, but if it means I get to spend more time with my kids than just seeing them once a week, I’m OK with it.”
So I broke things off and told him to go back to his ex-wife. It was painfully obvious that he was still in love with her, wanted to mend that broken relationship, and wasn’t really willing to make any time for me in his life.
He was a really sweet man but, It just wasn’t meant to be.
I said some things I really shouldnt have because I was having a bad day in the hot sun and she said some things and we didnt back down and then that was it. It was my first serious relationship too so I look back on it and learn from it. We’re fine now, but we’ve moved in different directions but I always wonder what could have been.
Just because someone is kind and decent doesn’t mean they are a good communicator and many other qualities that are equally as important. I’ve met so many kind and decent people who not at all compatible with me.
I wasn’t kind and decent at the time. I don’t believe in excusing hurtful behavior, so the reasons aren’t relevant. I grew, I changed, I’m an excellent man now. It doesn’t change the past and I live with regret. But I put good into the world everyday and have for a long time now.
I was in a bad place, and I couldn’t commit and put my burden on her. It worked out, I found my path and fixed myself, met a great woman that I married and built a family with. The other girl has a family too, it worked out for everyone
I think…I used to think I had, particularly during, but now I wonder would things have ended the way they did with the treatment I received if that were really the case.
That doesn’t mean they didn’t try or that they were even the bad guy. But maybe they just don’t really fit this description.
I knew I would take advantage of his kind nature since I was already a struggling single mom. He was too good of a person, and I didn’t want to ruin him. I knew he deserved better. He actually enlisted in the Navy a week after we split up. We still keep in touch on social media from time to time. We’ve both found better matches and grown families.
I’ve been pretty fortunate in that most of my exes were good people, just we weren’t always great for each other.
She had some hard core trauma she needed to work through and really couldn’t do intimacy without panicking.
She realized that she was poly and I…am not.
Big age gap. While I was in a lot of ways the kind of guy she was looking for, our relationship evolved into something that worked very well for me, but did not work at all for her and by the time she figured that out there was a lot of resentment so things weren’t really fixable.
It didn’t work out because I’ve got trust issues and couldn’t let them all the way in. They were solid, good person, treated me right but I kept things surface-level and never really shared what was going on with me. Eventually, that just created too much space between us.
Being kind should be a prerequisite for any type of relationship. Being kind is not a personality trait. I expect everyone I deal with to be kind to me. That is the bare minimum.
She was sweet, kind and generous. I was an early 20’s idiot who couldn’t appreciate her. I drove her away with bad behavior and poor treatment. She married the guy she went out with next and had 2 kids. I always thought she was right to move on, but I missed out on someone special.
Nice people tend to snap, so that’s when you find out they aren’t so nice and perfect.
I got away from her because she couldn’t communicate her problems to me before they became issues, at that point if you own the situation and do what’s best for both of you; you break up.
I went out with a lovely person who I adored until my friends pointed out she was keeping me out of the group.
I’ve always had a lot of friends but only due to my twin brother being very popular and ragging me to social events. However I’ve had the same best friend since I was 9 and we started to drift apart. The same with my twin also.
I chose them over her and broke it off. Sometimes wonder if it was a bad decisions or not. But still mates with my best pal. And me and the lady are one good terms
We broke up because we both couldn’t drive (high school) and lived about 30 mins away. He was in a band and I really liked him. We mutually agreed seeing each other like once a week sucked and we should end it. He played a benefit for the disease I have after we broke up which I thought was super cool.
i was toxic, then she became toxic. eventually i improved over time and then she gradually became worse. long and complicated story but she’s a great person nonetheless.
They were just too balanced, too quick to see all sides of a situation, too keen to be as kind as possible at all times. So neutral and balanced that it was tedious.
I certainly don’t want drama, but she was so sweet that it got to the point where I found myself screaming inside “Just have a fucking opinion for once!”
He was kind and decent and anxious which he treated with alcohol and weed, and had other health issues, and I gently suggested he see a doctor for two years, while taking care of him. Finally I said it pretty flatly, this is getting worse not better, you can barely function, you’re leaning on me, you need to go to a doctor.
And he said he wanted to be alone.
Kind and decent doesn’t mean mentally healthy, emotional literate, able to communicate, able to accept help, able to manage basic life things.
It’s two qualities that a good partner needs to have but there are 100 others that are also requirements.
I usually dated nice, kind, funny, talented, smart men who wanted to get married.
I was not ready to “settle down.” Moved halfway across the country to get away from the last one I broke up with.
When I least expected it, I met the man I married 47 years. Still going strong with one grandkid and hoping for another one soon.
He worked in the US office of an international company. His work visa was ending. He wasn’t prepared to stay for me, I wasn’t prepared to leave for him. No hard feelings, still casually in touch. Sometimes I wonder what if, but I think we made the right decision for ourselves.
We were friends for a long time before we casually started dating. Casual obviously turned serious after 2.5 years, but we never had the traditional milestones of a serious relationship because of a lot of practical things that I won’t get into. After 2 years, he wanted a more serious commitment, but I just couldn’t see being with him forever. He’s a wonderful person, but had a pretty depressing and limited view of life that I found just made me sad when I thought about a future with him. He also made it clear that if we had kids, he’d basically only be doing it because I wanted it. We broke up. He took it pretty hard but also moved on relatively quickly.
He’s really is a kind and decent person. He went on to marry someone else. He seems to be doing well. I’m happy for him and wish him all the best.
She was the dumbest person I’ve ever met. So nice, so kind, not toxic at all. But just so so so unintelligent. I couldn’t find anything to talk to her about. Breakup was so hard because who would want to hurt the nicest person in the world?
I ran into her sister last summer, and she looked at me, made a comment about how it looks like I’ve been working out, told her I have, but also I’m 5 years sober…I’ve lost around 90lbs since then, happy healthy, clean and sober
Hearing this she let out a relieved sigh, and told me she’s happy for my sobriety, then told me she had a talk with her sis about my drinking, and it’s the reason she left, I didn’t know that at the time, but understand…
She also asked me to not reach out to her sister, she has someone in her life now and she’s happy, and my getting in touch would just make things complicated for her…So I won’t
I lost a lot of things before getting sober.
The lost time that I could have had with her, for me that is the biggest regret from those days.
Narcissism. She was amazing for the first few months. Incredibly sweet, caring, mature etc. We got along really well and it felt like I hit the jackpot with how she treated me.
Then began the worst 3 years of my life before I got discarded. I still think about it every single day and it hurts.
We met when she was living across the road from me in brisbane, but she was only staying for a few months before she had to go back to darwin, where she worked in the arts. We hung out alot, fell in love in that short time. Time came for her to go back, and we stayed connected and tried the long distance thing, going back and forth interstate for a year and a bit.. was nice but i was going through some shit and had no one to lean on at times or even just hug it out with after work and sport and it was killing me and I’d be drinking to numb it. Then I just realised one day i couldn’t keep doing it.. I wanted an all or nothing love and needed someone by my side or I was better off just worrying about myself and I felt I wanted to be honest with her before I started chasing other women to fill the void.. we still talk and there is feelings there but being logical it’s not something for now, maybe later on down the track, who knows?
She was home one week a month. Really nice lady but didn’t feel like dating at all. If my swing landed smack bang in her off swing we’d only see each other one or two days a month and if didn’t then five days was the max
Almost all of the guys I’ve dated have been kind and decent. Most of us broke up due to incompatible timelines re: sex, but one really great guy and I had to break up over religious differences. Last I heard he was engaged though, good for him!
He was my first real relationship (18-23) and I had a fear of missing out, thinking the grass was greener on the other side, thinking our petty bickering was the worst thing ever, etc. I left him to go experience other people and I found out the grass is in fact notttt greener. I got into a relationship that turned abusive about a year in and quite literally ruined the trajectory of my whole life. The guy I left is doing great though as expected, amazing actually, he found a great person and is engaged so I love that for him 🥲
The love of my life is very kind and decent and we still live together. But the engagement was broken because I will not accept signing a prenup. If we’re going to plan for divorce, then it’s better just to not get married in the first place.
She was so nice, decent, kind, and a caring individual. The downside being that she was overly agreeable to the point where it felt like she didn’t have her own opinions. Whatever I said would be the thing we did. Even if she disagreed, if I put any effort in attempting to sway her, she’d cave.
I left because I felt like there was a huge potential for me to just be a bad person and either knowingly or unknowingly steer things in directions that would be bad for us or only beneficial to me. Those are my shortcomings and I felt she should be with someone who truly deserved her support.
He was a kind and decent person, but he still had some pretty big red flags. I also have a ton of issues. His red flag triggered me, and I had a bad reaction, and it went downhill from there.
Then when I went to university I saw her true colors
emotionally manipulate me to stay up till 3 AM nearly every night
made me download a tracking app before I moved away
petty reasons to hate my brother
proceeded to have her friend emotionally manipulate my brother (made him think they were together and made fun of his insecurities to her)
I dumped her ass as soon as I came home for thanksgiving and seeing EVERYTHING she did to my brother
her MOM DM’d me on Facebook and told me that my mental problems fake (I was very vocal about my issues to them) and that I was pathetic
her friend DM’d me on TikTak (the one that emotionally manipulated my brother) saying I was in the wrong for leaving her and that I missed the best person ever 😐
He was even keeled and sensible and his kisses left me feeling like I liked a 9 volt battery. It ultimately didn’t work because I was struggling with risky impulsive behaviour (undiagnosed ADHD) and I was convinced that he would one day wake up and just leave. I left first to spare myself the inevitable shame.
Its been decades and I’ve gotten my shit together and he is married with kids.
I’d known them since we were kids. Started dating at 16. Together until I was nearly 19.
It was almost like I self sabotaged, he was perfect in every way and I didn’t feel I deserved it.
Another telling sign is in the times we attempted to have sex for the first time and it’s like my body wasn’t with it. Which was extremely frustrating as he was kind, gentle, loving but it’s like it couldn’t happen. Threw me for a loop, I went through a phase afterwards completely contemplating what that meant and questioned my sexuality multiple times.
These days I’m in a long term relationship with a man but, I’ve realised am Bisexual.
I was an asshole and didn’t think it would work. So I started chasing after another got her had two kids with her and a bunch of bullshit. It was super toxic on both sides.
I dated a guy who was everything a perfect boyfriend could be; kind, romantic, funny, intelligent, thoughtful….it was wonderful. Until our first kiss. No spark. No chemistry at all. I went out with him a few more times to see if a spark would develop; nope. I had to tell him the truth. His response? “Thank you. The truth only hurts once.” What a classy person. Last time I saw him, he was happily married (so am I)-and I am truly happy for him.
M was and is a beautiful woman. We were together for almost a decade. I just didn’t want to marry her. For years, I hoped I’d change my mind, but I never did. So, I ended it. She and I both deserved better. Last I heard, she’s been with the same guy for about 2 years. I hope he proposes to her soon. She deserves a long and happy marriage.
H has been a friend for years. I went a little crazy after M and H very much helped piece me back together. She was also getting over a breakup. We had fun together for probably 6 months, and whatever we had was somewhere between romantic and platonic love, but it was never purely romantic. Although I don’t want kids, the rest of what I want in life is fairly traditional. She’s the type of woman that moves every few months on a whim. She’s a beautiful butterfly of a human being, but that’s the beauty in butterflies. They can’t be held down.
A was the most recent. After H, I stayed single for a few years. I needed to work on myself. I ended up working with A, and she just told me one day she liked me. Within a month of talking, I was sure she was going to be my wife. Without going too into detail, she had a psychotic breakdown. I tried for months to be there, but I couldn’t anymore. She shut me and everyone else in the world out. I eventually ended it. I was going crazy myself. I gave her some resources for help. I still don’t think she’s looked into them. She tried reopening the friendship, I tried. It made me feel worse. I’m struggling to not hate the woman I thought would be my wife. I’m struggling to do anything in my life.
Insecurity unfortunately. Was good at first then lots of insecurities came up. Had a good conversation about it
I thought everything was good for a while but I think she just held everything in and it all exploded out. We broke up due to what I thought was a insane reason. Tried working things out and it all exploded. Kinda sucks. Something that wasn’t anything at all God turned into a huge deal. But what ever wasn’t going to work anyways. She had alot of qualities and was hoping for her to grow out of it but I guess she’s not ready
I dated a girl in college who was very sweet and intelligent. She was also gorgeous and I had been crushing on her for a long time. But once I started dating her, I learned very quickly that she was the most boring person I’ve ever met before or since. She had no personality or hobbies, showed no affection, and did not initiate anything in the relationship. It was almost like dating a cardboard cutout.
She broke up with me because she said she wanted someone who took more initiative in the relationship, even though I had planned everything we ever did as a couple and put way more effort in than she did. I definitely wasn’t upset about that break-up lol.
We had so much fun together and went on little adventures together and lived together and had kittens together and were in love. He treated me really well.
But deep down I knew I didn’t want to be with him my whole life bc we weren’t really on the same page about the future. Ironically, he got the life I thought I wanted (married homeowner with stylish life in stylish house with stylish wife and solid career) and I got the life he thought he wanted (semi-nomadic, never getting married, on the go, taking bigger risks in a career, no 5 year plan).
Bad timing, recently going trough nasty toxic relationship. Met this girl that wholeheartedly love me.
I couldn’t do the same cos I still processing and try to heal myself from the last relationship.
Broke up, heal myself alone, then going into the relationship when I truly ready with another girl. Now, planning to get married this year.
i have anxious attachment style and major abandonment issues. i was so scared of losing her so i held on so tight to the point that i lost her anyway (talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy).
recognized my self esteem issues and attachment issues and is in a much better place now. said attachment issues hasn’t allowed me to move on even over two years later but i’m appreciating the solitude now.
She had an awesome job, held more money than I’ll make in the next decade. Cheesy, but a smile that lit up a room, the most personable person I’ve ever met. She made a PowerPoint about plans to get married and have a baby. I loved her and her family, and she made me stupid laugh every day.
We moved and she suffered an injury, and just all the transition was too much. Granted, she was miserable and stuck at home, but I didn’t respect how she handled it. It was just ugly and gross. She didn’t handle adversity well. At the time, I was literally carrying her up and down the stairs every day and pretty much doing everything for a couple month’s. She didn’t seem to appreciate it, she just expressed frustration in an angry way and yeah, fuck me carrying you up the stairs every fucking day and making dinner….
Great person, but it didn’t work out. It’s been near a year, I only think about it occasionally, but yeah, it’s a thing that pops into my head randomly.
His mom let herself into our hotel room and started packing his things for him the morning we were all leaving a place. She didn’t knock, and I sleep naked. He didn’t act like this was unusual in any way. Didn’t apologize, didn’t warn me, nothing. I grabbed my clothes from the floor and got dressed under the blanket.
I realized she had been the one keeping his apartment clean the whole time I knew him.
Honestly I still have a soft spot in my heart for the guy, but that was just too weird.
She was literally perfect, I broke up with her because I was going to visit an ex. I could not be a cheater, I still won’t. I regret it, truly. She was such a 1 in a million. We still talk but most definitely estranged.
He wouldn’t grow up even though he was older than me. One of the sweetest, funniest guys you could ever meet, but he was trapped in a cycle of feeling sorry for himself and couldn’t seem to truly grow up, keep a job, etc. We both were the type to want marriage, kids, etc but I knew I’d probably end up being the only one truly “adulting” even though I also had a lot of own health issues, anxiety, etc.
It worked out okay, though. We ended on good terms, and we both married people who balanced us out better. He’s my only ex and I’m glad that it ended well and not with us hating each other.
Past relationship trauma that made me feel like I didn’t deserve to have a relationship. I threw myself into my schoolwork to avoid making another big mistake.
She is really REALLY addicted to drama, her family is LOADED with it and she cannot deal with a life without it. I was ready to go “all in” and move our lives together….find a place we could co-habitate and make a whole Brady Bunch thing happen with our kids. NOPE. Pushed me away, dated some dude that immediately knocked her up and wanted NOTHING to do with his new son. Now she is intent on moving to South America and starting a new life there with her new son, basically abandoning her other three kids to their own devices (and their bio dad) one of whom is still in High School. Talk about dodging a bullet. That one creased my hair part.
Where does one find SANE older people to date? Seems impossible in our current climate.
I developed a difficult to diagnose medical condition. She held me down as long as she could but ultimately it made me so depressed I could barely get out of bed. She broke up with me and moved on with her life. I wallowed in my misery a while and then got it together some years later. I truly loved her and part of me believes we could have gone the distance but instead, my life got derailed for the better part of a decade.
I realized I just wasn’t going to like them anymore than I already did and I wasn’t in love with them. I felt it’d be wrong to stay with them when they deserved to find someone who would like them more than I did.
Comments
Our lives were incompatible.
He passed.
Currently – my past trauma and insecurities are definitely ruining things.
Covens witchcraft Cockblock,
One was a decent person but with a lot of demons that I unfortunately couldn’t help her with.
The other time we just weren’t compatible. Like at all. But that doesn’t make her a horrible person.
They were also avoidant.
She was also bat-shit-insane.
You know how Gandhi was the symbol of non violence but also did some wacky stuff (wacky by western standards)? Kind of like that.
I dated this guy I went to high school with. After graduation, he got married and they had a couple of kids. She cheated on him and gave him the clap. He divorced her and moved out, but was still a really good and dedicated father.
He told me when we first started dating that his kids would always come first, no matter what that meant. I thought, “well yeah, naturally.” But over time, I realized this meant he didn’t have any room in his life for me because he was still very dedicated to his kids and his ex-wife. All she had to do was call, and he’d come running. She used his good nature and dedication to his kids to manipulate him.
She’d call him while we were out on dates and he’d leave me there. She’d call him while we were getting ready to walk out the door and he’d cancel on me. He wouldn’t make plans with me without consulting her first in case she needed him to take the kids or come over and fix something in the house or whatever. He wouldn’t even go to a bar with me without telling her where he’d be in case of an emergency, so she always knew when we were spending time together, and she didn’t like it.
After she pulled her trick several times, we were talking and I asked him if he realized that’s what she was doing. He said “Yeah, of course, but if it means I get to spend more time with my kids than just seeing them once a week, I’m OK with it.”
So I broke things off and told him to go back to his ex-wife. It was painfully obvious that he was still in love with her, wanted to mend that broken relationship, and wasn’t really willing to make any time for me in his life.
He was a really sweet man but, It just wasn’t meant to be.
I said some things I really shouldnt have because I was having a bad day in the hot sun and she said some things and we didnt back down and then that was it. It was my first serious relationship too so I look back on it and learn from it. We’re fine now, but we’ve moved in different directions but I always wonder what could have been.
He had personal problems
Just because someone is kind and decent doesn’t mean they are a good communicator and many other qualities that are equally as important. I’ve met so many kind and decent people who not at all compatible with me.
He was TOO nice, and I knew I’d run all over him.
I wasn’t kind and decent at the time. I don’t believe in excusing hurtful behavior, so the reasons aren’t relevant. I grew, I changed, I’m an excellent man now. It doesn’t change the past and I live with regret. But I put good into the world everyday and have for a long time now.
She loved me and I only kinda liked her… because I met her family and they were absolute trash.
I was in a bad place, and I couldn’t commit and put my burden on her. It worked out, I found my path and fixed myself, met a great woman that I married and built a family with. The other girl has a family too, it worked out for everyone
She had a boyfriend at another school
Because it’s literally forbidden and we were forced to break up and stay away from each other due to external forces
They were so nice they were a complete doormat. People pleasing can loop back around into being a toxic trait.
We just weren’t compatable
I think…I used to think I had, particularly during, but now I wonder would things have ended the way they did with the treatment I received if that were really the case.
That doesn’t mean they didn’t try or that they were even the bad guy. But maybe they just don’t really fit this description.
Too young
I was the one who got broken up with. I was told. You are just too nice. I’m in the rough and tumble phase.
So. Bye.
It was interesting.
I knew I would take advantage of his kind nature since I was already a struggling single mom. He was too good of a person, and I didn’t want to ruin him. I knew he deserved better. He actually enlisted in the Navy a week after we split up. We still keep in touch on social media from time to time. We’ve both found better matches and grown families.
I was an immature mess 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve been pretty fortunate in that most of my exes were good people, just we weren’t always great for each other.
She had some hard core trauma she needed to work through and really couldn’t do intimacy without panicking.
She realized that she was poly and I…am not.
Big age gap. While I was in a lot of ways the kind of guy she was looking for, our relationship evolved into something that worked very well for me, but did not work at all for her and by the time she figured that out there was a lot of resentment so things weren’t really fixable.
It didn’t work out because I’ve got trust issues and couldn’t let them all the way in. They were solid, good person, treated me right but I kept things surface-level and never really shared what was going on with me. Eventually, that just created too much space between us.
Being kind should be a prerequisite for any type of relationship. Being kind is not a personality trait. I expect everyone I deal with to be kind to me. That is the bare minimum.
She was sweet, kind and generous. I was an early 20’s idiot who couldn’t appreciate her. I drove her away with bad behavior and poor treatment. She married the guy she went out with next and had 2 kids. I always thought she was right to move on, but I missed out on someone special.
Nice people tend to snap, so that’s when you find out they aren’t so nice and perfect.
I got away from her because she couldn’t communicate her problems to me before they became issues, at that point if you own the situation and do what’s best for both of you; you break up.
Bad timing.
He seemed that way for the first few weeks. Then I found out the trruth: he was married.
Bad timing 😔
I went out with a lovely person who I adored until my friends pointed out she was keeping me out of the group.
I’ve always had a lot of friends but only due to my twin brother being very popular and ragging me to social events. However I’ve had the same best friend since I was 9 and we started to drift apart. The same with my twin also.
I chose them over her and broke it off. Sometimes wonder if it was a bad decisions or not. But still mates with my best pal. And me and the lady are one good terms
She was a liar .
We broke up because we both couldn’t drive (high school) and lived about 30 mins away. He was in a band and I really liked him. We mutually agreed seeing each other like once a week sucked and we should end it. He played a benefit for the disease I have after we broke up which I thought was super cool.
I married and divorced him. He didn’t have emotional intelligence. He expected me to carry that weight and wouldn’t work on himself.
i was toxic, then she became toxic. eventually i improved over time and then she gradually became worse. long and complicated story but she’s a great person nonetheless.
Being nice had no spice.
They were just too balanced, too quick to see all sides of a situation, too keen to be as kind as possible at all times. So neutral and balanced that it was tedious.
I certainly don’t want drama, but she was so sweet that it got to the point where I found myself screaming inside “Just have a fucking opinion for once!”
He was kind and decent and anxious which he treated with alcohol and weed, and had other health issues, and I gently suggested he see a doctor for two years, while taking care of him. Finally I said it pretty flatly, this is getting worse not better, you can barely function, you’re leaning on me, you need to go to a doctor.
And he said he wanted to be alone.
Kind and decent doesn’t mean mentally healthy, emotional literate, able to communicate, able to accept help, able to manage basic life things.
It’s two qualities that a good partner needs to have but there are 100 others that are also requirements.
I usually dated nice, kind, funny, talented, smart men who wanted to get married.
I was not ready to “settle down.” Moved halfway across the country to get away from the last one I broke up with.
When I least expected it, I met the man I married 47 years. Still going strong with one grandkid and hoping for another one soon.
He worked in the US office of an international company. His work visa was ending. He wasn’t prepared to stay for me, I wasn’t prepared to leave for him. No hard feelings, still casually in touch. Sometimes I wonder what if, but I think we made the right decision for ourselves.
I was an idiot.
A lucky idiot who found another kind and decent person.
We were friends for a long time before we casually started dating. Casual obviously turned serious after 2.5 years, but we never had the traditional milestones of a serious relationship because of a lot of practical things that I won’t get into. After 2 years, he wanted a more serious commitment, but I just couldn’t see being with him forever. He’s a wonderful person, but had a pretty depressing and limited view of life that I found just made me sad when I thought about a future with him. He also made it clear that if we had kids, he’d basically only be doing it because I wanted it. We broke up. He took it pretty hard but also moved on relatively quickly.
He’s really is a kind and decent person. He went on to marry someone else. He seems to be doing well. I’m happy for him and wish him all the best.
She was the dumbest person I’ve ever met. So nice, so kind, not toxic at all. But just so so so unintelligent. I couldn’t find anything to talk to her about. Breakup was so hard because who would want to hurt the nicest person in the world?
Not dated but married. Unfortunately I’m a narcissistic ass who drove her away.She is the mother of my child and we get along fine now
My drinking… .
I ran into her sister last summer, and she looked at me, made a comment about how it looks like I’ve been working out, told her I have, but also I’m 5 years sober…I’ve lost around 90lbs since then, happy healthy, clean and sober
Hearing this she let out a relieved sigh, and told me she’s happy for my sobriety, then told me she had a talk with her sis about my drinking, and it’s the reason she left, I didn’t know that at the time, but understand…
She also asked me to not reach out to her sister, she has someone in her life now and she’s happy, and my getting in touch would just make things complicated for her…So I won’t
I lost a lot of things before getting sober.
The lost time that I could have had with her, for me that is the biggest regret from those days.
I have an issue where I self-sabotage relationships with truly good people because I don’t feel worthy enough.
I’m like “they’re definitely too good for me” and in my mind letting them go is a loving act.
Kind and decent is only a small small SMALL sliver of all that someone needs to encompass to be a good partner.
Narcissism. She was amazing for the first few months. Incredibly sweet, caring, mature etc. We got along really well and it felt like I hit the jackpot with how she treated me.
Then began the worst 3 years of my life before I got discarded. I still think about it every single day and it hurts.
He was a pdf.
We were together young and we grew differently.
She was too passive agressive. Kind person, good looking. It just got to be too much at the end.
We met when she was living across the road from me in brisbane, but she was only staying for a few months before she had to go back to darwin, where she worked in the arts. We hung out alot, fell in love in that short time. Time came for her to go back, and we stayed connected and tried the long distance thing, going back and forth interstate for a year and a bit.. was nice but i was going through some shit and had no one to lean on at times or even just hug it out with after work and sport and it was killing me and I’d be drinking to numb it. Then I just realised one day i couldn’t keep doing it.. I wanted an all or nothing love and needed someone by my side or I was better off just worrying about myself and I felt I wanted to be honest with her before I started chasing other women to fill the void.. we still talk and there is feelings there but being logical it’s not something for now, maybe later on down the track, who knows?
She was home one week a month. Really nice lady but didn’t feel like dating at all. If my swing landed smack bang in her off swing we’d only see each other one or two days a month and if didn’t then five days was the max
He died
To nice!!! As a woman I’ve realized I do best when someone is not overly nice but not too compulsive and controlling.
Almost all of the guys I’ve dated have been kind and decent. Most of us broke up due to incompatible timelines re: sex, but one really great guy and I had to break up over religious differences. Last I heard he was engaged though, good for him!
It did! 40 years married.
Because we’re boring. A significant percentage of people are addicted to adrenaline.
He was my first real relationship (18-23) and I had a fear of missing out, thinking the grass was greener on the other side, thinking our petty bickering was the worst thing ever, etc. I left him to go experience other people and I found out the grass is in fact notttt greener. I got into a relationship that turned abusive about a year in and quite literally ruined the trajectory of my whole life. The guy I left is doing great though as expected, amazing actually, he found a great person and is engaged so I love that for him 🥲
We met at the wrong time in our lives, we met back up again 2 years ago and she has a kid with a deadbeat dad.
if only…
The love of my life is very kind and decent and we still live together. But the engagement was broken because I will not accept signing a prenup. If we’re going to plan for divorce, then it’s better just to not get married in the first place.
She was so nice, decent, kind, and a caring individual. The downside being that she was overly agreeable to the point where it felt like she didn’t have her own opinions. Whatever I said would be the thing we did. Even if she disagreed, if I put any effort in attempting to sway her, she’d cave.
I left because I felt like there was a huge potential for me to just be a bad person and either knowingly or unknowingly steer things in directions that would be bad for us or only beneficial to me. Those are my shortcomings and I felt she should be with someone who truly deserved her support.
he’s too formal and im a baddie
He was a kind and decent person, but he still had some pretty big red flags. I also have a ton of issues. His red flag triggered me, and I had a bad reaction, and it went downhill from there.
Started off like that
Then when I went to university I saw her true colors
emotionally manipulate me to stay up till 3 AM nearly every night
made me download a tracking app before I moved away
petty reasons to hate my brother
proceeded to have her friend emotionally manipulate my brother (made him think they were together and made fun of his insecurities to her)
I dumped her ass as soon as I came home for thanksgiving and seeing EVERYTHING she did to my brother
her MOM DM’d me on Facebook and told me that my mental problems fake (I was very vocal about my issues to them) and that I was pathetic
her friend DM’d me on TikTak (the one that emotionally manipulated my brother) saying I was in the wrong for leaving her and that I missed the best person ever 😐
I was dating someone else who I liked better.
She lives on a narrow boat and I get seasick…..
He was even keeled and sensible and his kisses left me feeling like I liked a 9 volt battery. It ultimately didn’t work because I was struggling with risky impulsive behaviour (undiagnosed ADHD) and I was convinced that he would one day wake up and just leave. I left first to spare myself the inevitable shame.
Its been decades and I’ve gotten my shit together and he is married with kids.
I will always remember 9 volt kisses.
Everything was perfect.
I’d known them since we were kids. Started dating at 16. Together until I was nearly 19.
It was almost like I self sabotaged, he was perfect in every way and I didn’t feel I deserved it.
Another telling sign is in the times we attempted to have sex for the first time and it’s like my body wasn’t with it. Which was extremely frustrating as he was kind, gentle, loving but it’s like it couldn’t happen. Threw me for a loop, I went through a phase afterwards completely contemplating what that meant and questioned my sexuality multiple times.
These days I’m in a long term relationship with a man but, I’ve realised am Bisexual.
I was an asshole and didn’t think it would work. So I started chasing after another got her had two kids with her and a bunch of bullshit. It was super toxic on both sides.
I dated a guy who was everything a perfect boyfriend could be; kind, romantic, funny, intelligent, thoughtful….it was wonderful. Until our first kiss. No spark. No chemistry at all. I went out with him a few more times to see if a spark would develop; nope. I had to tell him the truth. His response? “Thank you. The truth only hurts once.” What a classy person. Last time I saw him, he was happily married (so am I)-and I am truly happy for him.
I’ve had 3 like that.
M was and is a beautiful woman. We were together for almost a decade. I just didn’t want to marry her. For years, I hoped I’d change my mind, but I never did. So, I ended it. She and I both deserved better. Last I heard, she’s been with the same guy for about 2 years. I hope he proposes to her soon. She deserves a long and happy marriage.
H has been a friend for years. I went a little crazy after M and H very much helped piece me back together. She was also getting over a breakup. We had fun together for probably 6 months, and whatever we had was somewhere between romantic and platonic love, but it was never purely romantic. Although I don’t want kids, the rest of what I want in life is fairly traditional. She’s the type of woman that moves every few months on a whim. She’s a beautiful butterfly of a human being, but that’s the beauty in butterflies. They can’t be held down.
A was the most recent. After H, I stayed single for a few years. I needed to work on myself. I ended up working with A, and she just told me one day she liked me. Within a month of talking, I was sure she was going to be my wife. Without going too into detail, she had a psychotic breakdown. I tried for months to be there, but I couldn’t anymore. She shut me and everyone else in the world out. I eventually ended it. I was going crazy myself. I gave her some resources for help. I still don’t think she’s looked into them. She tried reopening the friendship, I tried. It made me feel worse. I’m struggling to not hate the woman I thought would be my wife. I’m struggling to do anything in my life.
But yeah, that’s what happens.
I was too toxic and selfish 🤷🏻♀️
Insecurity unfortunately. Was good at first then lots of insecurities came up. Had a good conversation about it
I thought everything was good for a while but I think she just held everything in and it all exploded out. We broke up due to what I thought was a insane reason. Tried working things out and it all exploded. Kinda sucks. Something that wasn’t anything at all God turned into a huge deal. But what ever wasn’t going to work anyways. She had alot of qualities and was hoping for her to grow out of it but I guess she’s not ready
I dated a girl in college who was very sweet and intelligent. She was also gorgeous and I had been crushing on her for a long time. But once I started dating her, I learned very quickly that she was the most boring person I’ve ever met before or since. She had no personality or hobbies, showed no affection, and did not initiate anything in the relationship. It was almost like dating a cardboard cutout.
She broke up with me because she said she wanted someone who took more initiative in the relationship, even though I had planned everything we ever did as a couple and put way more effort in than she did. I definitely wasn’t upset about that break-up lol.
I actually just made it to a week with him, and it’s my first one. Wish me luck!
We had so much fun together and went on little adventures together and lived together and had kittens together and were in love. He treated me really well.
But deep down I knew I didn’t want to be with him my whole life bc we weren’t really on the same page about the future. Ironically, he got the life I thought I wanted (married homeowner with stylish life in stylish house with stylish wife and solid career) and I got the life he thought he wanted (semi-nomadic, never getting married, on the go, taking bigger risks in a career, no 5 year plan).
Bad timing, recently going trough nasty toxic relationship. Met this girl that wholeheartedly love me.
I couldn’t do the same cos I still processing and try to heal myself from the last relationship.
Broke up, heal myself alone, then going into the relationship when I truly ready with another girl. Now, planning to get married this year.
incompatibility and distance.
Things just lacked the spark and excitement I wanted from a partner.
He said he wanted to see what it was like to be single 🙃
i have anxious attachment style and major abandonment issues. i was so scared of losing her so i held on so tight to the point that i lost her anyway (talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy).
recognized my self esteem issues and attachment issues and is in a much better place now. said attachment issues hasn’t allowed me to move on even over two years later but i’m appreciating the solitude now.
One was bad with finding a job, about half a year unemployed on average and I am not running a charity.
Another one was really sweet, but I was not as much into them and after some time it died down for me.
Low testosterone= they didn’t put out.
She had an awesome job, held more money than I’ll make in the next decade. Cheesy, but a smile that lit up a room, the most personable person I’ve ever met. She made a PowerPoint about plans to get married and have a baby. I loved her and her family, and she made me stupid laugh every day.
We moved and she suffered an injury, and just all the transition was too much. Granted, she was miserable and stuck at home, but I didn’t respect how she handled it. It was just ugly and gross. She didn’t handle adversity well. At the time, I was literally carrying her up and down the stairs every day and pretty much doing everything for a couple month’s. She didn’t seem to appreciate it, she just expressed frustration in an angry way and yeah, fuck me carrying you up the stairs every fucking day and making dinner….
Great person, but it didn’t work out. It’s been near a year, I only think about it occasionally, but yeah, it’s a thing that pops into my head randomly.
We were 19 and hadn’t gotten over our most recent exes.
His mom let herself into our hotel room and started packing his things for him the morning we were all leaving a place. She didn’t knock, and I sleep naked. He didn’t act like this was unusual in any way. Didn’t apologize, didn’t warn me, nothing. I grabbed my clothes from the floor and got dressed under the blanket.
I realized she had been the one keeping his apartment clean the whole time I knew him.
Honestly I still have a soft spot in my heart for the guy, but that was just too weird.
He committed suicide. Was the love of my life and I think about him almost daily.
She was literally perfect, I broke up with her because I was going to visit an ex. I could not be a cheater, I still won’t. I regret it, truly. She was such a 1 in a million. We still talk but most definitely estranged.
It usually gets down to having different goals.
He doesn’t wipe his butt, im childfree n he has 4 kids under 12. The butt thing was a dealbreaker
He was nice, good looking but so dumb. when he took issue with me earning more, I knew it was over.
Another one was bright and kind but he would not change his living habits. Like he never cleaned his bathroom ever.
He wouldn’t grow up even though he was older than me. One of the sweetest, funniest guys you could ever meet, but he was trapped in a cycle of feeling sorry for himself and couldn’t seem to truly grow up, keep a job, etc. We both were the type to want marriage, kids, etc but I knew I’d probably end up being the only one truly “adulting” even though I also had a lot of own health issues, anxiety, etc.
It worked out okay, though. We ended on good terms, and we both married people who balanced us out better. He’s my only ex and I’m glad that it ended well and not with us hating each other.
Past relationship trauma that made me feel like I didn’t deserve to have a relationship. I threw myself into my schoolwork to avoid making another big mistake.
Because I don’t care enough to change.
I made peace with the fact that I’m going to die alone a long time ago. It is what it is, because I don’t care enough to change for the better.
But on the upside, apathy is a hell of a drug.
She is really REALLY addicted to drama, her family is LOADED with it and she cannot deal with a life without it. I was ready to go “all in” and move our lives together….find a place we could co-habitate and make a whole Brady Bunch thing happen with our kids. NOPE. Pushed me away, dated some dude that immediately knocked her up and wanted NOTHING to do with his new son. Now she is intent on moving to South America and starting a new life there with her new son, basically abandoning her other three kids to their own devices (and their bio dad) one of whom is still in High School. Talk about dodging a bullet. That one creased my hair part.
Where does one find SANE older people to date? Seems impossible in our current climate.
I developed a difficult to diagnose medical condition. She held me down as long as she could but ultimately it made me so depressed I could barely get out of bed. She broke up with me and moved on with her life. I wallowed in my misery a while and then got it together some years later. I truly loved her and part of me believes we could have gone the distance but instead, my life got derailed for the better part of a decade.
I realized I just wasn’t going to like them anymore than I already did and I wasn’t in love with them. I felt it’d be wrong to stay with them when they deserved to find someone who would like them more than I did.
mutually lost interest that existed at the start