I went out with a girl last week and we were going to go out again tonight.
We discussed sexual stuff so I disclosed to her I have genital warts caused by HPV and undergo treatment if they ever pop up. She said she wouldn’t be comfortable having sex and I could tell she wasn’t interested in getting to know me any more.
Are you supposed to just not tell people you have this? It doesn’t seem to matter how much logic you put in (~80% of people get this, it’s treatable, etc.)
It’s like you’re punished for doing the right thing. I’d like to have a partner again at some point in my life.
Comments
Consider timing. You don’t need to lead with the HPV convo on the second date. You’re allowed to wait until sex is likely imminent it’s not deception, it’s context.
You did the right thing. If someone is meant for you they’ll be willing to stick around and learn more about it before bailing on you. I have friends who have chosen to have relationships with people after having the same type of info disclosed.
It isn’t punishment. Some people don’t have it and don’t want it. It’s not a judgment, it’s their preference. Good on you for disclosing it, it was the right thing to do.
Yes you should definitely disclose it & say the likely hood of transmission but if someone rejects you you just have to move on
No, don’t hide it from people. You’re doing the right thing telling people, some people will be fine with it, some won’t. That’s what dating is for. To find someone who fits you.