My husband asked for a divorce, we’ve been together 10 years and married for 5. Tonight he went out with his new girlfriend. We still live together and despite me being productive today and speaking to friends. I ended up relapsing and getting intoxicated on rum and weed to ease the pain. Just looking for kind words and people to connect with.
Relapsed
r/Advice
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Sounds really rough. Relapsing doesn’t make you weak tho, we all make mistakes. But now it’s more important now than ever to keep yourself busy with hobbies and such. Keep reaching out to friends and family, that’s obvious tho. Just remember you’re not alone
That’s awful but you can get through this. Don’t let him see he’s hurting you and don’t give in to the demons
ODAT, slip ups happen, but don’t give up. And don’t let your sobriety be determined by another person’s actions. If you know it, remember the Serenity Prayer.
Gym or walking instead of the bottle.
Relapsing is the shittiest part of the journey. Don’t let it take you off track, give yourself grace, but don’t baby yourself. You have gone this far without substances, your body and mind are capable of going without it for longer. The thing that helped me accept being sober is that substances feel great and better than anything else, and that’s okay. Remember that feeling without overdoing it. Daydream about it if it helps. Just anything apart from actually doing it.
I have been in recovery for 2.5 years when I’m struggling with my sobriety I go to a meeting they help me express myself relating to my addict behavior letting people know face to face cuts the problem down some it’s obviously won’t fix what your going through but will help with perspective and suggestions
i lost my most loved person in my life due to alcohol and depression, it has been 6 years and i still remember the moment she told me that she felt that i didnt love her, and she went to drink champagne when she broke up with me, it broke me to my core but i stopped drinking and smoking weed, im sober now for over a year and my love for her its still here, she already have a new one and all that but im glad she met someone better, i am better now but its too late and i always hope she will be ok, it keeps me away from drinking because i talked to her and i cried saying that i loved her and i just didnt know how, that was a mistake because she cut contact completely, maybe its better because im a fool and i dont want to get involved with her and her new relationship, real love cares about the other, even if it hurts you can feel good about your ex having a better partner
relapsing doesn’t mean you lose all the hard work you did in the past. Don’t be too hard on yourself, be proud of yourself, you can do it again.
Focus on you girl. Don’t be around him/them. Easier said than done but it’s time to move on. Best of luck, you got this.
A lapse is a slip or temporary setback in recovery. It’s only a “relapse” when it becomes long lasting.
You had a lapse. Pick yourself up, and get yourself to a recovery group.
You deserve better than him.
He’s a piece of shit. Your life will be better without him. Addition by subtraction.
The best revenge is living well.
If you’re drinking a lot maybe go to an AA meeting? I’m not saying you are an alcoholic but if that’s how you’re dealing with this, that’s not good.
Also you might want to check into events in your town/city. You can meet people there.
Is there any kind of nature around you that is accessible and that you enjoy? Turning to substances is usually a mechanism used to escape reality, but it never changes people’s reality, and then they feel like crap afterwards. I hope I’m not coming off as condescending, as I’m sure you already know that. I’m just mentioning one of the few things that works for me when times are tough and I’m feeling alone. It may not change anything, but it could kinda “reset” what you’re thinking about for at least a bit (and we are meant to get sun and be in nature). It might allow you to get out of your head for a bit. Birds singing, listening to the wind or the water…
It may not feel like it now, but this is temporary and hopefully will change before you know it!
Within one month I quit drinking (for one year), moved to a new place, got a new job, got divorced, and started a whole new life.
No family, no friends, two kids, while he started his new family 100 miles away.
It’s possible, you can do it 💪
Your husband is a dick and I am sure that was painful. I doubt your are going to be feeling great about things living together in that situation. It will certainly be a trigger if you have had issues with substance abuse. Weed, eh if you have had problems with it in the past, could be an issue. If you have had issues with alcohol, especially dependancy issues, that is really not good. Don’t go down that rabbit hole again.
I don’t know your dymanics, but move out or go find a nice boyfriend and split the rent and have an open relationship or none at all. If he is going out with his new girlfriend while living with you, he doesn’t have any respect for you, so don’t give him any. Do what makes YOU happy and don’t drown your sorrows in alcohol. Bad things will happen.. Split the fucking bills and go enjoy your own life. Don’t sit at home and drink alone. Need a friend. You’ve got a few right here. 🙂
you’re grieving something huge. of course it hurts. the relapse doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. please be gentle with yourself tonight. you’re doing your best in the middle of heartbreak.
Sounds like you made your life around him. Treat this as a golden opportunity to reclaim your own life. What do you enjoy doing? Gardening? Go to Pike’s or your local nursery and pick up some flowers. Books? Find a local women’s book club in your area through Meetup. Pottery? Join a local pottery class. In each, focus on yourself and what gives you joy. Pursue those things right now. You will be amazed at what happens once people around you see a renewed, passionate you doing things that make you happy; you will become a magnet for similarly minded people and your friendship circle will grow and expand. You will also recenter and find yourself again and carve a life that is centered around YOU. Don’t worry what your ex does – just do you.
May God bless you and don’t give up. We all make mistakes.
Sobriety works. No matter your pain, understanding your pain is better than numbing it. Try and take it one day at a time. You can do it.
Relapse and addiction are rooted in trauma. 10 years is a long time. This isn’t uncommon. Relapsing is one thing but it’s how you pick yourself up andget back to. Yourself is what counts
It’s okay to fall once in a while. It’s how you pick yourself back up is what matters OP. Keep your head up and dig for that strength of yours
Stay focused on healing. Pray to God Almighty for strength and peace. Good luck. Believe.