So I (17m) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for about 3 months now. We started off very chatty you know she was interested in what I was doing I was interested in what she’s doing we had a mutual bond and showed reciprocated interest and admiration for each other.
However in the past month idk what it is but she’s become less and less idk if this is the right word but available? It seems like I’m always the one trying to organise being able to see her and I feel like there is no reciprocated effort anymore. In this past week we haven’t had a single real conversation and the longest conversation was 5 texts a maximum or 5 words per text.
Idk what to do I have clinical anxiety so I do think through all the outcomes but I’m not sure what I’ve done or if there is anything at all.
As a couple I’m usually more outgoing where she is more quiet when it’s just us however socially with our friend groups it’s more the other way around.
I guess I’m worried that I’ll lose her even as a friend. I’m moving countries in 10 days to start University and will have to do long distance in 10 week stints and if it’s going to be like this I’m not sure it’s going to last if there is no mutual effort to connect.
Should I raise it with her? Idk what to say. Having her as a friend is worth more to me than our romantic relationship she’s been one of the only people to really understand me for a while as I’m quite an outsider at school cause I’m a bit geeky.
Please any help would be appreciated!
Comments
talk to her in person before you move tell her you value her and the friendship but you’ve noticed she’s been less engaged ask if something’s going on and listen without interrupting then decide together if you both want to keep investing in this long distance
OP it sounds like you’re putting in all the effort while she’s just coasting and that gets old fast 😬. Three months in is still the honeymoon phase so if she’s already this checked out now that’s not a great sign. You deserve someone who matches your energy instead of making you feel like you’re bothering them just by existing. Have an honest talk before you leave for uni and see if she even wants to keep this going. If she doesn’t step up you’re better off freeing up your time for someone who’s actually excited to be with you.