We (19F and 21M) have been in a relationship for 2 years now. It started out great and I really felt his love when we started dating (i was 17) so we moved in together pretty soon. I was in high school while he would work, i would clean and cook for him and stuff like that. Never was a problem. Though because of past problems I had issues with trust, and it was hard for me to trust him regarding other women. This all started 3 months in. Since the start of the relationship, he was controlling about what I could wear and about male friends, now I am too, but at the start I really wouldnt have cared if he had any female friends, or about him going to parties etc. but now it is forbidden on both sides. I kept not trusting him and he gave me reassurance at first, then he stopped and he would gradually become mad about situations in which I wouldnt trust him. in October I asked an old guy friend about advice on how to trust him, because he is a man and I needed to talk about it with a man, he found out and broke up with me. We got back together but afterwards he would check my phone and other stuff like that. In December he found old vape checks that I bought and didnt tell him about, it was at night, and it was the first time he physically hurt me – he beat me and kicked me out of the apartment. Thank god my sister took me in. He fought hard to get me back and I eventually agreed and forgave him. Ever since, he has called me ugly names and in April he broke up with me over text and a few hours later told me he was about to commit sicide. I forgave him. In may he broke up with me after a fight which he escalated in which he purposefully got on my nerves, asked me to come back after 5 days, and a few days later I got jealous, he grabbed my hair and slapped me, never apologized because nobody knew and the next day he was telling me I deserved it and i had 15 minutes to pack my stuff and go. My sister wasnt picking up so I called my mom (he didnt expect it because she was abusive and I didnt talk to her) begging her to pick me up, crying, and then he mysteriously calmed down and I didnt have to go anywhere. Now we have a new apartment and I do not bother him much with jealousy, he just feels bad when I am around, lately has been telling me i do not clean (I work and do clean!!!) that my food is disgusting and that I need to lose weight and I am useless because I put no effort in what I do. Ever since I have been cleaning more and cooking “better”, and still nothing changes. He calls me ugly names and if I come back from hanging out with friends he feels bad because “if you dont trust me i dont trust you too” starts fights for no reason, tells me I am stpid, an idit, uselss, f4t… i try to avoid these fights and he tells me i have a week to move out because he is sick of me, then this disappears and i do not have to move out. These days have been very tough because he is just not in a good mood around me. today i did get a bit jealous about something on the tv and all i did was say “are you serious?” he got all in my face, grabbed my face, called me a stupid wh*re, kicked me and i think he wanted to slap me too. later he needed to drive somewhere so i packed him a sandwich that HE asked for, in the end he didnt take it because “it looks disgusting and without effort so he will just buy one” and left home as i cried. I feel like a slave but it is so hard to leave because I love him. He says that his behaviour is because when he did everything for me and put all his efforts in the relationship I didnt care and didnt trust him anyway, that if i keep on not trusting him he will find someone else while we are still dating. Please help. There have been fights in ehich he purposefully days things to hurt me and I ignore him, and if i do ignore and not respond, he goes crazy and starts doing weird stuff like singing, and when i get back into bed after ignoring his attempts to make me feel bad, he kicks me multiple times. Please tell me what you think…
TL:DR Relationship turned abusive and it is soo much.