Dear community.
I’m at a breaking point and I would love your opinions.
I’m in a relationship, we’ve been together for three years and when he moved in with me, he moved to the country.
I paid the bills the first six months.
When he got a job, much higher paying than mine, we split everything 50/50.
This would come to be a mistake as I was really suffering trying to keep up with bills and having any money left at the end of the month.
Fast forward to now, I left a toxic workplace that broke me and I’m having to negotiate that he steps up and takes care of more of the financials while I’m going through this tough period. I am just so frustrated that even after he got a great job, he did not offer to pay back some large expenses I undertook in this time period and now I’m having to beg him to contribute more so I can focus on getting better and getting another job. Please tell me I’m not crazy for wanting to leave this relationship if it doesn’t improve. I learned a hard lesson in assuming I would be treated equally here.
Comments
You’re not crazy. He’s taking advantage of you.
What you wrote seemed pretty coherent to me. Why would you be crazy for leaving? Is your last sentence not the answer? Leave him. Like yesterday.
Talk to him that you are feeling resentful. Resentment is a relationship killer.
Doesn’t sound crazy to me. Living together before marriage is risky (though I did it too), and you unfortunately won’t get any of that money back, but you can prevent yourself from losing more.
Doing 50/50 with a man is almost always a mistake. Men almost never have the emotional and physical load women carry.
There will be resentment. 50/50 with a man is like a roommate. I will never do that. I would rather live with my best friend and actually do 50/50 vs do that with a man I also have to take care of. No thanks.