Location: I am located in MA.
I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask
Does anyone know what route to go if by chance you call APS for self neglect on someone and they do not follow through or consent to whatever help is offered? What legal routes would be my option, or those that should be looked into, if any?
My mom is 62. Her health has had a quick decline over that past 6 ish months and it seems she plans on staying this way, and allowing herself to get worse. She is also a raging narcissist who has worked in the medical field (as an medical asst) so unfortunately she thinks she knows better than anyone in the medical field regardless of their specialty.
My aunt is currently helping care for her, but she has no medical background and my mom can be really emotionally abusive towards her. Not doing something quick enough, right enough, having to repeat herself etc. my aunt however essentially has a trauma bond with her, as she allows the behavior because she feels badly for my mother. However I have told her two things can be true at the same time: she is having medical issues but also being abusive.
I am not currently able to assist much in her care because I have a non weight bearing fracture of the ankle so it’s hard enough for me to move around and be able to do the necessary care. I do live with her, but due to my mother’s narcissism, our relationship is incredibly strained. Before I had sustained the injury though I had finally been able to hound her into going to the hospital, where it was discovered she had fatty liver (exasperated and due to her being an alcoholic), dehydration and malnutrition
However once out of the hospital she started a FAST decline once more. She ended up on Prednisone, which caused severe edema, but would not address it with her doctors to ween off this med. It got to the point she needed a walker. Then she stayed on the couch all day, getting bed sores. She went back to the hospital for pneumonia recently and I think signed herself out, and came back home on antibiotics, weening off the high dose of pred, but is still not moving much. She had five bed sores discovered at the hospital. She also started wearing diapers when the edema first started, because she was missing the bathroom at times but has now regressed to being in so much pain that she just goes in them, having my aunt change her. She just rented a wheelchair and it came in yesterday.
She has been solely relying on the gi doctor for most information. She refuses to get a primary care because they work in the same system she used to work and she doesn’t want anyone she used to work with reading her file. Yes. This is the only reason she has given.
I tried to have an intervention with her but my brother derailed it. He was much more softer than necessary as of these were recent happenings and not treating it properly as the ‘this has been going on for too long now, kiddie gloves to address this have been used so much they’re worn down, now it’s time to be serious’ it needed to be. He let her get away with avoiding questions, blatant lies, etc. during this intervention though while reading a message exchanged with her GI doctor, the GI doctor TOLD HER to get a primary to address these issues she was having early on, she just never did.
She lies a lot about plans, makes excuses. Sometimes even changes things doctors have recommended upon discharge. She hasn’t bathed in a long time. She sits on the couch in just her diaper, even when my boyfriend is here (I have a room in the basement I reside in because of my injury and he helps me). I try to talk to her about her health but she starts having ego rage and yells. Cries and claims I’m treating her like a child, says there are appointments that magically get cancelled or never come when I follow up and ask about them.
I’m sorry for all the quick details. I’m not able to provide much here without writing a book like I said, but I will answer any questions in the comments.