My dad has always taught me to do this and he is in his ’70s always said it was the polite thing to do
But I’ve heard somewhere that this is actually a big no from some people like it’s actually frustrating so I’m confused and worried.
Thank you.
My dad has always taught me to do this and he is in his ’70s always said it was the polite thing to do
But I’ve heard somewhere that this is actually a big no from some people like it’s actually frustrating so I’m confused and worried.
Thank you.
Comments
I don’t mind, but when people sandwich silverware in between the plates it makes it easy for plates to fall over.
Im curious why anyone would be annoyed?
I worked as a busser for a few years and i always appreciated when people would tidy up their dishes
Waffle House: Yes
linen tablelcoths & sommelier – NO
For me the only time it is a little irritating is if they try and hand you said stack of plates but it isn’t a stable stack eg there is a smaller plate or cutlery inbetween. Or when they put glassware on top of the plates. But I still appreciate the effort regardless
Depends how good they are at stacking.
A neat pile of plates with napkins and cutlery on top? Great.
A precarious Jenga pile of plates with cutlery sandwiched willy nilly between the dishes? Not at all helpful and would be better to have just let me do it myself.
It’s about 50/50 between servers/bussers who like it and those who are bothered by it. Some employees have their own preferred way of bussing the dishes. Some customers are bad at stacking dishes and, while they mean well, will stack them in a way that’s annoying for the person bussing the table.
The standard for full-service restaurants in America is that the employees stack and bus the dishes. I think even the employees who appreciate stacked dishes wouldn’t hold it against customers who don’t stack them. Personally, after having worked a decade in foodservice, I do not stack the dishes after I eat in a restaurant.
Worked in hospo for years, & it’s generally very helpful! But yeah, if food/utensils are in the stack, less so.
Top tip if you’re gonna do it: if there’s any leftover food on plates leave them as they are, stack the rest with the utensils on top.
Of course you’re not obligated to do any of it x
If you do it neatly, leaving the plate on the top with any scraps – don’t stack the cups (that can break them if made of glass) – and don’t wad up any trash into cups – yes – it’s highly appreciated
It’s only bothersome if you stack plates with food and silverware in between. Otherwise it’s generally appreciated. Although I’d much rather stay on my game and clear the before the guest has a chance to stack them. I work fine dining, so it’s an expected part of service
I always stack it appropriately when doing this. Larger plates are the bottom, and so on and so on. Cutlery, I put it on top of the pile or all in a different plate
Not a problem if you stack it the correct way, but people don’t always know the correct way. Also, i worked in a restaurant with many ramekins which required their own stacking method, so even if you have restaurant experience, some places may require different techniques
Depends, are you doing it in a stupid way where you stack plates with food still on them and silverware haphazardly falling out, or are you doing it the way you would if you were the one clearing plates? Competence is always the difference between help and hindrance.
I do it so they don’t have to touch your dirty germ utensils. If they don’t like it they’re not thinking it through IMO.
I don’t stack for some of the reasons stated here. But I’m a fast eater, and my husband is slower, so I put my dishes to the side. Mainly so I leave it alone and not play with my utensils.
Not helpful. Bussers have techniques for this.
Also fine dining faux pas
NoSupidQuestion: What is the apostrophe before 70s supposed to be abbreviating?
Depends. Are you making their job easier or harder?
If you stack the plates neatly and the silverware separately and it is all easy to carry, we’re good.
If you stack plates with garbage on them and silverware stuck between the plates, you have made it so that I either have to re-stack the plates right in front of you (customers don’t appreciate their help being denied – plus I have to use your table to move things around – not a good look) or carry the plates to the back like I’m carrying a half mutilated JENGA stack…. Either way, not good.
I don’t work in a restaurant anymore but I did for several years at a fancy Mediterranean restaurant. I have, since then, also helped stack plates for my bus-person to take away. It’s helpful and a good indicator to them that I am done and ready to have the plates taken away.
As someone who has worked in restaurants it can be appreciated if you stack the plates together then put the silverware either on top or all together in a cup lastly if you have napkins or straw wrappers you can either pile them together separately from the dishes or if the plates not sticky on the top for easy disposal.
Honestly, I have only seen people complain about it online. In person, I have had multiple servers thank me/my party for stacking our plates (not trying to toot my own horn, this has happened maybe 3-4 times in my life).
However, the complaints I’ve heard the most are about poor stacking. Smaller plates/silverware in between larger plates, food left on lower plates causing instability, napkins jammed into cups, etc. I do none of those things and try to stack as stable as possible. If I try to stack something and it seems unstable, I will separate stacks so it’s still tidy, but whoever busses can decide how they would like to finish it off/take it. Like, if we have oval and round plates at the table, and the rounds don’t nestle into the oval and the ovals seem like they’d slide off the rounds, I stack ovals and rounds and leave them next to each other. I don’t always stack cups, but try to make sure any remaining drink has been consolidated into one glass, so they can stack if they like.
how about if you do utensils in the cups?
Oh god it’s very annoying, I work in a restaurant in a four star hotel.
It’s not really done in my country because we’ve compitant waiters and about six different bins in the back where the waste and dirty dishes go.
You’re creating more work for staff because staff already know what’s the best way to clear a table
They tend to be precariously balanced most of the time, so I’d just prefer to do it myself. It doesn’t really save me any time.
Just to add- never try to help by putting things on or taking them off a tray for your server- nearly dropped a tray full of drinks when someone grabbed one because it threw the balance off.
If that’s all you have to worry about you’re doing good kid.
If you stack empty plates on bottom, empty bowls on top of that and then silverware it’s good.
I was always taught you never stack dishes at the table— they only get stacked in the kitchen out of view from guests, whether it’s a home family dinner or at a restaurant.
I waited tables for years. If someone stacked plates it would mean I wasn’t doing my job. Servers should be attentive enough to pick up plates before everyone is finished.
I don’t like it because it puts too much weight on my wrist. I would rather place them up my arm but now the bottom of the dishes are all nasty. Plus if there is silverware in between it’s just asking me to drop them.
Restaurants, yes. Banquet events, maybe if you leave it at the table. Never EVER stack them yourself and put it on a tray on the perimeter of the room. Banquet servers are particular because if their tray is unbalanced, it’s easy to tip.
Honestly if there’s enough plates that are in my way after dinner when we’re still talking/waiting for the bill and no one has come to get them out of our way, I’m stacking them (neatly). I get that people are busy and I truly don’t mind. I just don’t want to have conversation while we wait for our bill with all our dirty plates in the way.
personal experience from being a server 10 years ago at a diner:
nice gesture but didnt care cause i was just gonna toss it into a bus bin behind the flappy doors for the busser to deal with later
was nice when people would at least put their finished plates at the end of the table so i can just grab and dip while scanning the table.
summarizing what ive read in this thread so far
It doesn’t affect or bother me if you do or don’t!
if you do, sometimes I feel obligated to thank you for doing it… if you do it wrong and I pick it up and they fall everywhere I get irritated. If you are adding more to the stack while I’m holding it, I’m done with you lol
I had a pretty specific way I liked to stack dishes, so I wasn’t a fan when I was serving, but I did appreciate the effort and knew it was coming from a good place.
I was a busboy not a waiter/waitress. I hated it when customers stacked their dishes.
My experience was that it was usually more annoying than helpful. If I only had one table to clear then it’s kind of whatever, but as soon as I was clearing multiple tables I would basically have to unstack everything just to get it in my tub(s) efficiently.
Another LPT, don’t stack your groceries on top of each other on the belt either. You might feel like you are unloading your cart faster but I promise it does not make things faster. Checker has to take the extra step of unstacking them plus now your groceries are arriving in a manner where the squishables are getting scanned first and either need to be set aside or will just end up in bottom of your bags.
You’re worried? Seriously?
My partner and I both worked in hospitality for years when younger. We almost always stack, but we know how to do it properly and I’ve had servers that really appreciate it.
If you do it right of course it helps
I always “hate” the people, from the stand point of a fellow customer, who leave the table covered with plates and crap at the self serves places.
I always try to clean up my own mess where ever. I am proud to see my kids follow my example and do the same. And to clarify, I am talking about pizza places and the sort where they give you a plate at a counter and you seat yourself.
Now to get the kids to clean up after themselves at home… oh, and for the boy to put the toilet seat down.
Make sure there’s nothing between plates, your mugs are NOT a temporary bin for your suger sachets they go soggy and stick to the mug and someone needs to fish it out, I also used to hate people bringing me their plates, I might not remember where you were sitting and now I need to wipe all the tables again
We don’t do a perfect stack but every thing does get stacked silverware on top
Plates are fine. Just don’t shove your trash into your half empty cup. That’s the worst.
I started stacking my dishes after a friend did it when we went out to eat one time, she’s a former server so I just copy how she did it.
I use to stack, but when my daughter was a waitress she asked me to please not do it…. I haven’t since.
It’s gonna be different at every restaurant. I am a waitress. Please everybody don’t worry about it it’s not a big deal
Stacking dishes is low end …
come on … at a high end restaurant do they stack the plates? …. never!
Stack your plates when you’re done as if you were going to carry them away
Its fine, honestly. I usually fake-scold my guests who do this. “Oh no, now I have to give you a 1099 form to fill out so I can pay you” with a laugh.
Whenever I sit in a booth I always move all the dishes and garbage to the accessible end of the table so they don’t have to “climb in” to get them. I used to bus at a club and the booths were very long/deep and high up and it was so annoying getting glasses left near the wall end.
I hated it because I had a system and doing dishtank is always way easier when I do it the way I like – I was never upset it about because I knew the intention was nice, but it always led to more work.
Stacking in an inefficient manner doesn’t exactly help but it’s still a nice gesture.
To answer a related question, 50% of the people think the thermostat is set to hot and 50% think it is set too cold.
Not currently working on. A restaurant but depends on two things: first, whether they are stacking them as it is, with food and cutlery (big no no) and secondly, how do the waiters carry the plates. It is often easier to grab single plates and put them on already stacked ones on your tray/arm than grabbing 5
So… I’d say from irrelevant to annoying. I would not recommend you do it
It’s a polite gesture but I’d say not a requirement at all because they still have to clear all the stuff off the plates and stack them in the dish pit. From what I’ve seen, when servers come back with a stack like you described, they often just leave it there and clear the top plate since everything is one there and leave the stack which makes it unorganized. But that could very well be the servers doing when clearing the table.
Rule of thumb: just don’t be messy and ignorant and it doesn’t super matter
I personally didn’t like when customers stacked the dishes. Usually it wasn’t helpful and made the job harder
Just know that in fine dining it’s a huge faux pas to even touch that shit after you are done.
My brother is a cook and he always does this whenever we eat out and insists that it’s helpful so I’ll take his word for it.
It is helpful and noticed, even if you do it wrong, we appreciate the effort.
My family spent a long time working in the restaurant industry and they always taught me and my siblings to properly stack the plates (all the plates together, utensils, scraps and napkins on top). They said they always appreciated it when customers did it for them, and they always wanted make it easier for the servers.
I do it when the server takes too long.
When I was a server, I always appreciated the effort. Having said that, if you really want to be an A+ customer, there are ways to level it up.
(PSA- Some of this stuff is subjective and others may disagree)
Stack your plates, largest to smallest, with largest on the bottom and smallest on top. Also, don’t stack more than maybe 3-4 at a time. Make sure all food waste is scraped onto the top plate, not hidden in the bottom plates waiting to make a mess all over the place if you pick it up.
Silverware can go in a cup if the cup is clean, but I personally hate the half full water cup filled with nasty ass food water. Same with napkins.
If you did these things in a casual restaurant, I would feel like you set me up well for success. But simultaneously, I would never expect it. It’s my job to make your life easier, not the other way around.
Yes. Anywhere yes. Just go largest to smallest and make sure they don’t wiggle
Depends. In restaurants that have more attentive and nuanced service it’s not just annoying, it’s unhelpful. But the motive behind it purely good intentions and strong foundation in helping others.
But sometimes you just need to be served and not try and always be a hero.
Do not stack. Please, please do not stack.
There is a method and an order to the way things are removed from the table. Allow your server to do that. Diners are not helping by stacking and it’s poor manners. Your job as a diner is to enjoy your meal, make conversation etc. The diner’s job is not to manage the dish ware.
Putting your napkin in your dirty plate is also highly discouraged. It makes clearing the table difficult, it unnecessarily soils the linens, and just makes a mess of things. Your napkin should stay in your lap until the meal is concluded and everyone leaves the table.
If you know how to stack it’s helpful if you don’t it’s unhelpful. Just keep in mind that I will likely be trying to carrying everything away with one hand. Can I pick up your stack with one hand? Will it be stable when carried with one hand? If the answer is yes, your are being helpful. If the answer to either question is no you are being unhelpful because I will have to restack everything which is usually more difficult, time consuming and messy then if I’d just done it myself from the get go. Bonus points, in higher end establishments managers seeing you stack plate will take it as a sign that the serving staff is not doing their job and bussing in a timely fashion.
Actually, stacking plates is not proper etiquette.
Stacking everything into a tower 🙁
Scaping off all plates onto the top plate and then stacking the rest under 🙂
Putting all the silverware into a tall cup 🙂
Leaving a napkin at the bottom of that cup 🙁
Leaving everything at the edge of the table most accessible to busser 🙂
When in doubt, walk away and lemme do my job. I won’t be offended. If you bring in kids that are messy as hell, you can still walk away, but we will roast the shit out of you when you leave with your rug rats.
I haven’t worked as a busser in 15 years, but that’s how I remember feeling about it.
Stack plates and then all silverware on top. Stack garbage on a plate.. NEVER stuff the garbage in a cup.
I’ve asked friends who are wait staff.
Some say yes, they appreciate it.
Others say that they have a specific way of doing things, and they’d just prefer you left it alone so that they could do it more quickly. Maybe the system at that restaurant is such that they’d have to undo some of the work you did.
I don’t care but don’t start attempting to help when the server has begun to bus the table.
As a service industry vet: If servers have the energy to get mad that a guest thoughtfully stacked the plates and set them to the side, they should have the energy to clear them before anyone has a chance to. I welcome and appreciate any amount of consolidation from guests if I’m too busy to tend to it myself!
Never stack different types of glasses. And, make sure there are no knives or forks sticking out from the stack.
An ex friend used to call me a hick and imply I was so classless for stacking the plates (neatly) at a resturaunt.
I was always told that it was rude to do this.
Then my 88 yo mother (who told me it was rude) turns around and does it. 🙄
Imagine you had to clear the table, what would be helpful and what would be annoying.
Food has to be scraped in trash, dishes get dropped in the bin, often silverware in a separate bin.
Just put yourself in the servers shoes and you’ll figure it out.
Of stacked “correctly” helpful, I bussed tables as a teenager so will stack the stuff how I was taught still, as someone that bussed, stacked wrong is worse as you have to awkwardly take it away as disassembly of the stack in front of the customers would come across as rude
At a more casual spot super helpful
At higher end, not helpful. solely because we have very specific ways of clearing tables, number of plates to pick up at a time, and often if people start stacking it’s looked at as us (the staff) being a step behind
I jput the plates at the end of the table. It makes my back hurt to force someone to lean over the table to clear things.
As a former dishwasher, you stacking your own plates is doing more than the unbussed trays some of the servers leave on top of my garbage cans. Just put your silverware/napkins/scraps on to one plate.
Obviously read vibe of the establishment your going to. If they have valet service and an attendant in the bathroom handing out towels and mints then no, you’d be insulting their service. But a supper club, bar & grill, or a dinner than go for it.
One time I thought I was being helpful at the end of my meal and tried stacking two water glasses. They both broke immediately. At that same exact second I looked up and made eye contact with my disappointed server and just let out a sheepish “sorry”.
I’m pretty sure he thought that was annoying.
As a general rule only stack as high as you could carry on one hand; bigger on bottom, small on top, cutlery and trash last. There’s nothing worse than having to split a stack and get sauce/food residue all over your hand cause it’s on the underside of the plate. Also, please for the love of god don’t stack glasses. If they are not specifically designed to stack they get stuck and/or break.
It depends on the restaurant. I worked in a fine dining place where the servers were told we couldn’t stack plates as it “ruined the aesthetic”. So if a customer stacked them for us, we had to unstack them and carry plates with food stuck on the bottom.
Helpful, if they do it right.
I’ve heard it can be annoying at very upscale cruise restaurants, idk if that’s true at very fancy restaurants. the reason they gave was that the service is supposed to to be so good the customer shouldn’t have time to stack their own stuff.
Those of us who do this really are trying to be helpful. I hope any of you who work in the food service industry know that. My wife and I both do when we go out to eat. We try to stack like dishes or larger ones on the bottom and smaller on the top so it’s easier to pick up. I try to be nice to the people working there. I’m fortunate to have a job outside the service industry but I know how shitty some people can be. I know those of you working there just want to do your job and go home without being treated like shit. So I say please and thank you. I try to leave as little mess as possible and I give a decent tip.
As others are saying, it depends so I really wouldn’t worry! Just neaten up a bit and that is already plenty of help.
However, please for the love of god, do not put things in your water cups/liquids! It’s so gross and we have to fish that shsh out if the restaurant doesn’t have a good system for it. Blegh it was one of mine and my coworkers biggest pet peeves when I was a server
When I was a bus boy, i had a certain way to carry the most stuff to the back. They took bus tubs away from us at one point, so we had to un stack the plates anyway
Yeah we don’t mind and it can be helpful as long as
A) it’s empty plates underneath (not half a meal left or cutlery)
B) You don’t stuff used napkins inside the cups
I’ve seen this question here before. If you can stack it like the bussers would stack it, it’s a help. If you know what you’re doing it’s a help. If you’ve never bussed, or haven’t watched bussers, please don’t try. They know what they are doing, and it’s takes extra time to undo your “help” if it didn’t actually help.
I try to stack plates largest to smallest, keep silverware separated or at least on top. No trash in-between anything. And I don’t even mess with cups or glasses, I don’t know where they dump those.
So my experience may be different, but when I worked for a buffet as a server, I loved it when customers would clear and stack their own plates. It made it so much less of a hassle to deal with.
I feel like most people who do this were once servers themselves, including myself. 🙂 Makes it easier to bus the table when you leave.
Having been a busboy/dishwasher, I nicely stack stuff.
No garbage in the glasses. Silverware on top of plate.
My mom was a server for 20 years and always taught me that every individual person has their own system for stacking plates. If they don’t know how you did it and you balanced something weird, they could drop them. She taught me to leave them close to the edge of the table and free of trash (& to put any leftover food you’re not taking home on the same plate), but don’t stack them yourself.
It always comes off as very impatient to me.
Helpful…when you do it RIGHT!
I was always told it’s rude to do/ low class
I’m going to allow the employee to do their job and tip 30%
I always appreciate the intent. If they’re trying to be helpful it doesn’t bother me. But it’s most helpful to only stack empty plates and collect the trash on the top plate. Separate cloth napkins and cutlery from the trash at least enough for it to be easy to grab without getting garbage hands. The only thing that really bothers me is people stuffing napkins into their cups, especially if there’s still ice or liquid in there. We have to fish those out with our hands because they’ll clog the dump sink when they get wet, and we can’t dump the ice/liquid in the trash.
Former busboy
When I stack our table’s dirty dishes, it’s ready to go.
If you’re good at it, thanks! If you like to hide the silverware between two plates with the rest of your mashed potatoes than I’ll just take care of it myself, thanks.
If you are asking yourself, where does the silverware go instead? Preferably in an empty water glass, handle facing upward.
But yes this does make our job much easier especially when busy. Final tip, please don’t stack too many plates especially if they are heavy. Our wrists are basically always ready to snap lol
When I was a server, I found it extremely annoying. Also there’s just no purpose in my opinion. I’d clear as I went along, so there shouldn’t be a huge stack of plates anyway.
Soooo, when people stack their plates, I feel like I/my support staff, haven’t done our jobs. If guests feel the need to stack plates to get them out of their way then we took too long to get to them. But I always thank them for helping me out lol. I will on occasion deconstruct and reconstruct their stack to make sure I don’t drop anything
Only if you do it “correctly”
If you do it right, it’s appreciated. If you do it wrong, we hate it. It’s hard to explain how is right bc there’s so many variables. Basically, if you ever did it for money – you know. Keep on doing it that way. If you never did it for a job — don’t help.
As a server I hated it. Theoretically if you did it right it would be helpful but 90% don’t so it’s better just to tell everyone don’t fucking do it
I wasn’t a server, but used to be a dishwasher. I would find it somewhat inconvenient if stacked dishes had trash in between them, either napkins or significant bits of food. It’s nice when you can put dishes in the sink by the stack without ending up with soggy napkins getting bits everywhere. The top plate is easiest to scrape trash off into the can, and it was mildly annoying to check under each plate or go one by one with half the space taken up by the bin they’re in.
When I eat at a restaurant, I like to stack the plates, but make sure the trash parts are kept in one spot, usually the top plate.
It’s called the pre-bus. The main thing is to make sure like items are together. Put the silverware on one plate. Put trash together on another. Make sure a stack is able to be lifted with one hand. Make sure you’re not sandwiching any leftovers. Or just leave it all alone and let he bussers do their thing. The idea is to make it easier.
If it’s neatly stacked in a way I can easily clear everyone stuff, I love it! That’s where I can tell you are intentionally trying to be helpful.
If it’s haphazard and precariously stacked in a way like ”get this away from me” (or moved to a clean table nearby), then I’m annoyed—that increases my work and makes ME seem incompetent if something gets dropped.
For many seasoned servers, we can see your intention in your actions and attitude 🙂
When clearing your table, put refuse in a small pile. Stack silver on top of the plate stack neatly. Stack the cups next to the plates, not on them.
Ideally you put all the cutlery on one plate, the plate you put the cutlery on should go on the top of the stack, so that one shouldn’t be the largest plate, the largest plate should be the clearest, because everything goes on top of that plate. If that doesn’t make sense, then just don’t do it, if that makes sense then you’ve always been doing it right.
It depends on where you’re at. Fine dining? No do not do that. Casual? Sure!
Helpful usually
It probably depends on the busser. Some people just throw everything on the cart, for them its probably easier, some people stack the dishes in a specific way, for them, its more annoying. I would say just put everything close to the table end that they will come to clean, and pile all the napkins and garbage together, thats the most helpful thing you can do.
Let your server/busker decide how to get rid of the plates. Individuals can carry more/less weight, move differently around the restaurant, and accidents happen when someone feels obligated to go beyond what they’re comfortable with. Also, depending on the type of restaurant, they may have clear instructions from management on how they should clear tables.
Talking as someone with a lot of experience in hospitality.
I stack it intelligently because I just want it out of my way. I want to put my hands on the table and not stare at a dirty plate, so if they’re not picking it up I’m stacking and moving.
My daughter was a server for many years. I learned from her when we went out to eat and she immediately started stacking the dishes on our table when we were done.
This is for fastfood restaurants: It’s no problem, but throw the garbage away. Otherwise I’ll have to throw it away myself, and thats annoying. I’ll have to do it for every customer.
I think the sentiment is very sweet so I don’t normally mind even if they do it incorrectly
Please don’t do it if I am your server. I would take plates and sometimes people try to pile on more plates onto my arms. I am already at capacity and more weight will make me drop everything.
I always clear the food from all plates on to one plate, stack the plates, napkins on top of food and silver ware on top of the napkin. Cup/glasses grouped together, if any have handles they face out ward towards the outside of the table!!
If you know how to do it well, it’s welcome. But even then you never know the hand/wrist health of the person bussing that table. Hand/wrist injuries are common in serving, and you could turn a quick clean up into an ordeal for someone. Some people think they’re helping when they submerge used napkins and straw wrappers in drinks, but when workers have to throw wet paper and ice into the trash, it really sucks for the person who has to take out the trash.
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