I think it is fine if your romantic relationship is known by family and friends, but I find publicizing your relationship, say, via public social media accounts, to be undesirable.
I also find PDA of the romantic/sexual variety to be unsightly. I think it is pretty disrespectful of those around you and should not be tolerated outside of deliberately sexually charged venues or environments. Romantic relationships and what they entail ought to be virtually private.
Edit: Platonic PDA is fine, even great. I’m not against love, affection, etc. My being against romantic or sexual pda especially is asking others to think outside of themselves and to have awareness that public space is shared space. People ought not to just care about how their behavior makes them feel, but also how their behavior may impact others. I am very glad for those in romantic relationships (well, as long as they are decent ones devoid of significant abuse).
Even romantic PDA can be disruptive still because it turns a shared, public space into an arena for someone’s personal emotional life, which can feel intrusive and uncomfortable for other people. I find certain acts of romantic PDA that are borderline platonic are fine. I find platonic PDA to be less emotionally exclusive, less imposing on shared public spaces, and tends to signal more of an invitation to connect. I think it is a lot more likely to promote social cohesion than romantic PDA.
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I mean I think a lot of people post about being in a relationship on social media both because that’s where they talk about their lives, and also because if you’re not publicly in a relationship on social media you WILL get hit on.
The problem with this is it makes cheating massively easy.
Why/how would romantic PDA be disrespectful?
Consider: You can look away if you find me kissing my girlfriend on the cheek that “unsightly.”
No.
Why is PDA such a problem? Is showing affection to your children in public also not okay? Or is it only romantic love that’s somehow “unsightly”.
Shit like this is why everyone calls Americans prudes
The thing is…it just has fuck all to do with you. I love my husband. I’m gonna love him everywhere. When I’m looking at him, no one else is in the room, including you. When you’re excited about something, don’t you want to yell about it? When you’re in love with someone, don’t you want to show them? You’re just not even a smidge of my concern when I’m loving my beloved out loud. This is a you problem, because people aren’t loving love for your benefit.
I knew a girl who had a new boyfriend every week and posted “in a relationship” on Facebook every time…
One time, I tried to tell her that guys don’t like that, and she should probably wait to see if it works out she got all mad at me…
Hilariously, her boyfriend liked my post, and to nobody’s surprise, they broke up shortly after
For pda are you talking hand holding, hugs, and an arm around the shoulder? Cause that’s pretty benign…I think people making out in front of others is gross though
It’s fine if romantic PDA is not wayyy too much and anything sexual should be private
That’s between you and the person or persons you are with. That’s it. You don’t get a say on other people’s relationships.
I think any overt romantic displays in public are insufferable. Even something as innocuous as holding hands. Insufferable. But truly overt displays? It’s like a frenzied little Pomeranian yapping and phlegming and turning in wild circles incessantly! Does it physically affect you or hurt you? No. But do you want to grab it by the neck and just Snapppp! Yes! Especially adults, over 40, like nasty guys, nobody wants to hear that wet schmacking of faces and goofy whispers! Enough lol!
“You’re allowed to be happy, just not in front of me.”
– Larry David
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most redditor post of all time lol. do you hate joy and love or what
I remember when I was on a trip in Bangkok, there was this really tall white couple literally making out while waiting for the train. I was a kid back then and I just felt so uncomfortable. Everyone was just side-eyeing them lol. There‘s a time and place.
>Romantic relationships and what they entail ought to be virtually private.
Hard disagree. Take an upvote.
What do you define as PDA.
So, according to you, since you included PDA of the romantic variety, couples shouldn’t hold hands, hug one another, basically touch each other at all because you don’t like it.
Has it ever occurred to you not to look? After all, no one is asking you to partake. So if you think they should be kept private, have at it.
How is it disrespectful?
I like to validate my relation in public
While I agree couples dry humping in the supermarket is distasteful, so does most of society. For anything else you are free to use the two foot rule. Don’t like what you see? Use your two feet to walk away. If people holding hands or hugging in public bothers you that much the solution isn’t changing society. You’re welcome to avoid it though.
I love obnoxiously making it clear to everyone around us that we’re together by how openly and shamelessly affectionate we are; few things excite me more than her doing something like grab my ass in public.
If you don’t like it, tough.
I mean my husband and I aren’t huge on pda for ourselves and he doesn’t use social media and I don’t for work. But idc if someone wants to kiss their partner or something in public or post cute little photos of each other. If you’re in love, and want to show it, why not ?
This opinion typically comes from bitter people who are single and unable to find partners. I’ve seen it over and over again.
you have not really said anything else than “im uncomfortable with this”, which is fair enough given the name of this sub, but it doesn’t really give a concrete argument for why this shouldn’t be tolerated. I think most of this uncomfortableness comes from social norms and isnt grounded in anything other than maybe our own jealousy for the situation
Counterpoint: I have the cutest wife and everybody should know how much I love her.
Meh, mind your own business.
I think your account should be set to private.
You need to relax bud
You can always look the other way, you know?
Oh look, a muslim
>I also find PDA of the romantic/sexual variety to be unsightly.
Seyual yes. Romantic, no way. Also they don’t do it for YOU.
Hand holding is fine except on a narrow sidewalk where you’re preventing those walking the opposite direction as you to get by. Also, you’re likely walking slowly so people behind you are trying to pass and can’t.
This and people walking side by side and not making room when other people are trying to get by irks me so much, and it’s becoming more and more common.
Mostly agree with the first part. FB reels has a lot of couples content, and what the creators call a ‘joke’ is usually openly trashing your spouse and getting internet strangers to defame your husband or wife without his/her knowledge. It’s kinda crazy how much people share then try to damage control in their comments afterward.
Counterpoint, everyone in a relationship needs to be branded so I know who I can’t hit on
I kiss my girlfriend where and when i want to. I do not care about your loneliness or your religion or whatever brings you to that mindset. Dont go out if you cant handle it
Uh oh…I know a group of people who are known for being pissed at couples for displaying affection around them.
Just say you’re jealous and move on.
Jealousy at its finest.
It’s also how you ruin your marriage at Coldplay concerts
Honestly, people who air out their relationship online get me so 🤣🤣 bcs boy ik y’all ain’t that happy irl (bcs 98% of them break up anyways)
This post makes me wanna go kiss my girl in public. Gonna take her to McDonald’s and just kiss her in front of the order machines til someone has the courage to ask us to move or hurry up. Might even grind on her while she chomps down her nuggies. Thanks OP.
PDA is such a loosely defined term, is a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips PDA, or just how I greet and say goodbye to my partner?
If you’re talking about full on making out, highly sexually charged, “We’re about to strip our clothes off and go full feral” activity, I agree with you.
That said, I feel like hugs, holding hands, kisses on the cheek, forehead, peck on the lips, and even leaning on each other (like a light snuggle) are perfectly appropriate for public between two people that love each other.
>it turns a shared, public space into an arena for someone’s personal emotional life
..uh huh. My hand holding and light peck on the cheek totally does that.
I think it’s one thing to say, “I don’t want to watch people suck face in public, or sit on the same side of the booth doing weird hand stuff under the table.” But you didn’t.
Romantic PDA includes a couple touching hands across a table, or holding a partner’s arm as the two of you walk. Certainly you’re not implying that sort of physical engagement is out of pocket.
Also who the hell would know the difference between what was romantic between two people & what is platonic if it’s a hug or something?
I’m really glad I didn’t have to bother saying what I was thinking because the replies did it for me 😂
Sounds like something a two timer would say
I think there’s a line of what’s acceptable and what is too much.
This post sounds like an old person made it
Upvote because this is an annoying post.
I have never had an issue with couples holding hands or even pda in general.
It doesn’t involve me, and we need more happiness in the world.
People like op just come off as bitter. Like why are you focusing on some random couple you dont know? Don’t you have things to do other than people watching?
Idk why but whenever I see PDA it makes me think of dogs who pee on everything to claim their territory.
I don’t like posting my life online, but I think having some photos with your partner is the bare minimum. Sorry, but if a girl doesn’t have photos with her boyfriend on Instagram, I assume she doesn’t have any, meaning she’s a green light. (I imagine other men think the same.)
Honestly, I agree. Some things are acceptable to me, like a kiss on the cheek, holding hands, a side hug, or a quick kiss on the lips. But otherwise? I hate seeing people go at it in public. Like holding in line and watching two people in front of you French kissing… god that is awkward.
But regarding publicizing your relationship, I think that I don’t agree with you on that as much. If your whole online presence is with your partner, then yeah I agree. But if some online celebrity or influencer posts with their partner a few times, I don’t think it’s a problem.