I am married 23 F married to 22 M we have a pretty we have sex pretty regularly and it’s fine and good. I don’t always cum and when I do it’s because I have assistance iykyk. But anyways There’s been times where i’ve walked in on him masturbating after we’ve had sex. We could have sex 2-4 times and the next day he’s masturbating. I can go days with out. We are on vacation and I mentioned it’s starting to upset me how much he is watching porn and touching himself and his response was “Would you wanna eat the same food everyday” I’ve asked him if he’s addicted to porn and he denys it. I feel very strongly that he is. Is this normal? He says he touches himself when he gets bored or horny which okay but it’s so often it makes me have less respect for him. Am I crazy ?
S/o addicted to porn?
r/Advice
Comments
He’s a porn addict yes there’s really a guy like that that enjoys masturbating sometime
Honestly. As a man. That’s incredibly disrespectful what he said to you.
It sounds like he is seeing you as another way to get himself off. If he was really committed to you, he wouldn’t be watching other people or making remarks like that.
That should show into his character, not yours. You are sure as hell not crazy and I admire you for having the courage to seek advice on it.
Take a night. Think on it. If he really loves you and wants to keep you, he will quit.
If he just wants to get himself off, and continue watching it religiously, that should tell you his values. No need to constantly watch others when he has a perfectly human girl in front of him.
If he doesn’t want to quit or hear your concerns, he isn’t respecting the vows you guys made.
I do preventing myself from porn.
I was addicted to masturbation now I’m holding and it’s been 70+ days..
Now it is hard for me to control.. I think I’m gonna a do it…
Any tips for me, I want to keep going but cant
One, communicate more about your orgasm needs. Many women need sex toys and extra stimulation to get off, but he should be part of the process. Kisses, gentle stroking, loving, connecting, active participating even if you prefer to use the toy because you know how to navigate it better. But its on you to communicate your needs and set standards for yourself. Dont give him head or sex if hes not helping you finish after you’ve had this important conversation about what’s bothering you about your current sex life.
Two, hes ALLOWED to masterbate as much as he wants. Men typically have very high libidos. Women can go weeks or months without sex easily, but healthy men can often go over and over. Daily.
You don’t get to be upset because he masterbated. That’s selfish. Hes also allowed to watch porn. Women need to stop being insecure and trying to police that.
As long as you are both having sex with each other, then you have no reason to feel insecure about his masturbating or visual aid.
You also can’t diagnose anyone with porn addiction. Period. Hes said hes not. So that’s the answer. Grow up.
Definitely he’s addicted to porn. Porn has taken over his sex life. That will make things harder for you then. 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
Let them watch. No harm.
Better he is wacking himself off than have another woman do it for him
As a man I refrain from porn and masturbating because both of those in excess affects my sex drive and in return affects my relationship.
Porn addiction directly impacts your relationship and mental health just do some research on it and you’ll find out how bad it is.
He is addicted to porn , porn is poison and these are the kind of people that cheat if they don’t nip it in the bud
Me and my wife climax every time , she does many times each time
We do not watch porn or entertain the idea or image of others
He’s a young guy. He needs constant sex. Its ok doesnt mean he doesn’t love you. His comment was childish though this is normal
I suggest visiting r/loveafterporn. Ignore all these trollers saying you’re insecure
It’s not you or porn, it’s nature.
He’s 22 – he thinks about that stuff about 70% of the time, at least.
When he’s 30-32, those thoughts/actions will appear to fall off a cliff.
When I was 35, I remember thinking, “Holy shit, I can’t believe the volume and persistence those thoughts played in my life when I was 25.”
I’m often surprised that I had any personal/professional accomplishments in my 20’s that weren’t tied to bettering my chances of getting laid.
He’s 100% addicted to porn but either doesn’t realize it or won’t admit it.
Balance and discipline it wouldn’t be an issue if there was more control the comment he made was rude this one thing im sure doesn’t define him entirely so just ask him to chill bro there is more to life than gooning on porn
Two routes you can go. Leave him and be insecure about any man who looks at porn or even glances at another woman or… harness his energy for your self give him porn but dictate it. Dominant him!! he’ll be playdough. He’s taking care of him self your turn to have fun with porn
I have an honest and sincere answer. Sex drive in dudes can be ungodly high when we’re younger. Hence both of you could be intimate and he ends up choking his chicken an hour later.
But the “would you eat the same food every day” comment was extremely rude. He shouldn’t have said that.
If someone’s dealing with a porn/masturbation addiction and they find a bf/gf who can help then thats great. More power to them.
But your bf has lost any kind of pity from me. That’s shithole behavior.
I don’t think you are crazy but you should think of sex differently you shouldn’t shame him for watching porn and masterbating but he definitely is doing it a little too much but yall are young so I give him a pass
It’s not normal. Please please please do not waste your 20s with someone like this. It may have been something to work through with him but the food comment is absolutely disgusting and I’m mortified someone could say that to any woman let alone his wife.
Does he try to make sure you cum? Or is he a 2 minute man?
To me what’s crazy about this is he’s not even hiding it and the reply to what you asked him is kinda dark. It’s an addiction sooner or later it’ll become a reality he’ll go down the rabbit hole and start cheating
If you love the food, you would want it every day.
You’re not crazy at all for feeling this way. It’s not just about sex — it’s about how his habits are affecting your connection and how you feel in the relationship.
Masturbation isn’t wrong, but if it’s happening often enough to make you feel disrespected or distant, that’s valid. His response kind of dismisses your feelings instead of addressing them.
You deserve open, honest communication and intimacy that feels mutual. If this keeps bothering you, it’s worth having a real conversation or even considering couples therapy.
You really have to ask urself what’s ok for you & whats going to torment your soul for years to come? No pun intended. This porn crap is an easy out for men to be driven by sexual impulses act like it’s not “their fault” bc their animalistic duh and create a lack of ability to control themselves for the greater good and respect their partner’s temple. it’s destroying the home of two people trying to raise children. Women who put the content out, enjoy having men act like dogs, being center of one’s desires & get off on manipulating others.. not everyone
You get me tho. I was totally ok with it when I started dating my ex. I adored him. He adored me. We watched & played together. When we had our 1st child…Wed go like rabbits. I’d leave to go to the store, God forbid I forgot something? I found him jerking of over the fucking car seat he put in the bathroom with our new son in it. Uhh still pisses me off. Woke up in the middle of the night he’s on the couch was “oh sorry, couldn’t sleep” uhhh
10 years down the road… forget it
It was so confusing? Catching him on live web cams when I would pull in from work. He made a jerk off station behind our house, we’re in a rural area. It mashed you hate them.
He was Doing it at work in the equipment, same time everyday.
We had a Great sex life. So Intense, present, and ravishing really! Never made sense?
I eventually became obsessed with “how’s bad is it”?
Just go now.
Some things you just can’t unsee.
There’s a dynamic among men today…the longer a marriage goes on the more that they are programmed to dislike when their wife talks or has questions about them. Therapy is “weak” they are dumbasses.
It’s normalized for married/committed men to LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN SEXUALLY via phones. That shit graduates my love. PROMISE!
Nah not going to allow that ever.
It’s making them need no effort to sustain the emotional balance of the home and those who live in it.
Most importantly it’s creating a habit of serious addiction. How can one desire a partner if you are doing that everyday? I finally escaped my 14 years of hell with a man who said one dream and towards the end was going to kill me bc I wouldn’t buy in to his fantasy world and just accept the porn addiction. It took me so many years to understand, he wanted to have both worlds. Eventually he ruled by fist.
Run. He’s a lesson, not a blessing.
You don’t satisfy him
Ew.. yeah, once you lose respect for him, it will become extremely hard for him to earn that back and I doubt he’d try. Soon, he’ll just be repulsive to you.