I’m (36) moving in w my bf of one year. I paid rent on my place but have almost fully moved out and half way into renovating his place in preparation for his 40th bday party. It’s been heaven and hell with more frequent fighting. He’s been the only one I managed to see a future with. He’s very sweet, giving and loving. The other side to that is he can be stubborn and dismissive when frustrated. Last night we went out. We got dressed up and we were having a good time. Then when he went to get us drinks, some guy brushed up against my butt (I’m wearing a thigh length dress and it wasn’t too crowded), then proceeded to get in my space while he was with a his gf I presume. It felt so deliberate, I thought it was my bf being flirty, so when I turned around I was grossed out to see it wasn’t. When my bf returned I told him what happened and he said that’s my friend he’s going to my party. He also said he’s had issues getting in trouble for being touchy feely in the past. Adding that he did the same to him earlier, as in he rubbed up against him that night too. I told my bf that 70/80 chance he did it on purpose and is a pos. If he isn’t, then he wouldn’t mind apologizing for the drunken accident if I call him out.
I thought he agreed until when we were driving home it came up how some guys are just deviant and will do it to guys too. There should be no issue with him apologizing if he didn’t do it on purpose. My bf got really mad and said he wasn’t going to have me make a scene at his bday. I got really mad and said it didn’t have to be a scene if he texted him to point it out and ask. I don’t want some creep invited to where I live. He said he wasn’t going to text his friend that. I said he’s choosing the opinion of some creep over me. Then he told me I could leave. He told me to move out and take all my things. Since he was driving my car I told him to pull over so I can take my car. I told him to take an uber. He told me to not go back, so I drove home to where I paid rent. I only have a bed here, no clothes. I was so upset, I’ve blocked him. I can’t believe this is happening. A few days ago we had a terrible argument where I wanted to break up with him, but he talked me off the ledge and we made up. It was a sad and somber day of us crying and promising we wouldn’t ever break up and it wasn’t okay to threaten it or bring up if we didn’t mean it. Is this salvageable or a huge mistake. It’s not easy to do a 180 this far into moving out. Am I making a huge mistake leaving or staying?
TL;DR bf and I fighting more as I move in. We had a fight after his friend rubbed up on me in public. He says the friend accidentally rubbed on me. I say if it was an accident he needs to apologize. Bf told me to move out instead.