You see it all the time. Someone gets rejected for whatever reason, and everyone around the rejectee (mainly their friends and family) start saying “Its their loss”, “You deserve better”, etc. Its a horrible course of action to take.
Sure it may serve as a decent coping mechanism, but its an extremely immature response to someone handling an uncomfortable situation as best they could. Unless someone was straight up being an asshole in the way they rejected someone, all you did was insult an innocent person. You didn’t really comfort the person who was rejected at all, you just falsely fed into their ego at a vulnerable time. The world doesn’t revolve around the rejectee, and feeding this advice to them is harmful in the long run.
No it wasnt ‘their loss’ for rejecting someone they arent interested in. Nor are they a bad person for doing so. They are within their rights to be with whoever they wish. Just because you dont fulfill that criteria doesnt mean they’re automatically an asshole.
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It’s their loss isn’t an insult
Employers make poor hiring decisions all the time. It really is their loss.
Maybe it isn’t but I’ve definitely told myself this when applying for jobs
You gotta keep your confidence up when applying for work ! If I love me, you’re gonna love me
it’s their loss doesn’t even kind of mean they’re an asshole it just means they are going to miss out on the person they rejected. regardless of how they feel it is still their loss, by their own choice sure, but the point still stands.
technically both parties are at a loss in that sense but i don’t see an issue with the phrase
Unpopular? That suggests anyone else thinks this. Which I kinda doubt.
It’s immature to take a simple platitude meant only as a consolation so seriously.
Great, but do you have an alternative.
Sure, fine, but I’ll take the decent coping mechanism over caring how someone copes
Agree with “it’s their loss”, always thought that was cringe. I take “you deserve better” as “you deserve someone who’ll appreciate you” though. Doesn’t always have to be an ego thing.
How is “it’s their loss” an insult and calling someone an asshole?
You sound like a terrible friend. This is just a nice thing to say and it reminds the rejectee that someone thinks highly of them.
There’s no need to be so 100% accurate about society and life all the time. If a child is scared and you tell them everything will be okay, that’s always a lie. But shoud you say, ‘The future is uncertain and tragedies happen to good people all the time. All we do on Earth is to ignore the fact we’re bound to die.’ ?
Definitely an unpopular opinion, yeah. You sound like someone whose ex’s friend told them it was “your loss” and wanted to let out some steam about it.
People say, “it’s their loss,” to express that they think their friend has value despite the rejection and want to reassure the friend that their value is not defined by whoever did the rejecting. It doesn’t mean the rejector is somehow going to regret their decision or care that they’re “missing out.”
A good person can still made a bad decision, it happens all the time. Why would this be an insult?
It’s not that serious.It’s an affirmation that the rejectee has value and that the rejector is losing out on that value. I don’t even think it’s an unpopular opinion. It’s just wrong.
You’re not wrong, but also I just think this a pointless hill to die on tbh
In a sub of strange hills to die on, this is a strange hill to die on. It’s just a simple platitude that says “I see you as a great person, it’s a shame they didn’t see that”. It’s not really insulting at all
To be fair that’s such an awkward situation to try to comfort someone in because you weren’t part of their relationship.
It’s “their loss” because they are missing out of the experience of having the person they rejected in their life. That’s what the phrase means. They are losing out on a benefit (of knowing that person). It’s has nothing to be with assholery. No one thinks that when they hear that phrase.
And when a person is down (especially if they just got dumped) is the time to feed someone’s ego. They probably feel like shit in that instance and you are reassuring them that it’s not their fault.
‘It’s their loss’ genuinely isn’t saying anything about the person who turned them down. It’s just a nice, sweet lie to tell your buddy.
“Their loss” means they lost the opportunity for someone good, not sure how that is an insult
I agree with you. It doesnt comfort me in any way if someone says that to me. Because I have rejected great (as far as I know) people plenty of times. I never once regret it or even think about those people afterwards. It was not a lack of information about their greatness that made me reject them, it was solaly the lack of attraction.
But then again if someone says that to me, it means that I was complaining about being rejected and my friend is trying their best to make me feel better, which I very much appreciate.