Seeing MIL after 8months NC. Update

I posted a couple of days ago as DH, LO and I were going to a big family event out of town and knew MIl would probably also be there.
I wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented as I really needed some supportive words & a little confidence boost going into the situation.

Overall the event was great. Everyone commented on how beautiful and friendly our LO was. I’m an introvert but l tried to make sure I was approachable & happy/friendly with everyone, just like some of you suggested.

Only one family member asked why DH wasn’t talking to his mother. She said she understood what DH mother was like & agreed that as a grandmother herself she doesn’t interfere with her adult kids lives. DH said he felt validated after that conversation, which was good!

When we first walked in Mil was sitting down eating. She saw us and started doing an exaggerated wave, trying to get LO’s attention (but failed). We just walked past quickly to the buffet as we were starving.
She tried again to wave from across the room but LO didnt notice. I think she got the hint from there as I wasn’t going over to say hello.

Mil did approach DH afew hours later while me & LO were dancing. Apparently she asked him “Am I not allowed to talk to ‘OP’ then?”
I can’t remember what DH said his response was but he did mention he had told her not to talk to me.
After their interaction MIL and DH both looked angry and annoyed. I hate seeing my husband upset but I think once the party livened up he was OK again.

Mil didn’t come near us again but I definitely think she was upset we weren’t pretending everything was fine. DH said she’d sent him an angry message later that night but he couldn’t really make heads or tails of it, likely because the alcohol was flowing lol.

Once we got home the next day DH did mention he felt a bit emotionally drained from the situation. He’s never had conflict like this with his mother, he’s kept her at arms length all his adult life & that’s how he avoids dealing with her.

I did ask him if he thought there was a way to resolve the issues with his mother but he said he doesn’t really see anything changing if MIL won’t even sit down & have a conversation with us.

DH has come to the conclusion that his mother is unable to self reflect and probably thinks if we sit down to talk it will end up being an attack on her character and us just listing out all the things she’s done wrong and she just can’t accept that she could be wrong about anything.
He also admits that his mother’s assessment of risk is not that of most people. She doesn’t consider the worst case scenario or the dangers of her actions or inaction which is why we can’t leave her alone with our toddler. But instead of her trying to understand or learn from her mistakes or work on how to build up that trust with us she’d rather try to get her own way by trying to force us to back down.

I do often worry I’m just too strict with my boundaries as my husband is more laid back but I can’t feel comfortable leaving my child with someone who isn’t able to assess how dangerous a situation could potentially be for a toddler & mil has shown time & time again she lacks common sense when it comes to children and doesn’t respect anyone enough to do what they ask anyway.
My husband did say he’s starting to remember situations in his youth when his mother and his uncles wife would clash because his uncle’s wife also didn’t trust MIL with her kids and had to tell her off about things she would do. So it’s refreshing feeling that I’m not the only person that has noticed MIL’s bad lack of judgement & that DH is maybe slowly seeing things more clearly.
I just worry that it’s going to take something seriously bad to happen to a kid in MIL’s company for her to really understand that she needs to be more responsible. But I’m not going to chance it with my child just because her feelings are hurt.