Seeking Advice on Emotional and Moral Struggles with a Friend

Hey Reddit,

I’m 25 and studying abroad for my master’s. I met a man from the same country as mine, who is also my senior. We became close friends, and he has been incredibly supportive and understanding, especially when I was dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Over time, our relationship became complicated, and we became emotionally and physically involved, despite both of us being married, with our spouses in our home countries.

I’ve struggled with vaginismus, and with his support, I was able to overcome it, something that wasn’t happening in my marriage. While I know what we were doing was wrong, I developed strong feelings for him. He has been emotionally supportive, offering care I wasn’t getting elsewhere. But he’s married, and when our relationship started, his wife was pregnant with their daughter.

Now, he’s leaving soon to reunite with his family, and I’m struggling with letting go. I know I need to focus on myself, but I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself. I’ve neglected my personal growth and healing because of him, and I’m afraid of being alone. I’ve distanced myself from others and feel like I won’t find friends who genuinely care and understand me the way he did.

I know I need to move on, but the fear of being alone makes it hard. How do I focus on my growth, stop being afraid of loneliness, and make positive changes in my life?

Please don’t judge me; I found a friend in him, someone I never had before, and I really appreciate that.