Seeking advice. Should I swallow my pride and contact my absent rather to try and get things out of him?

To give some background: My father has really barely been in my life. My entire life, he really only comes to see me on my birthday. Sometimes he doesn’t even do that, I haven’t seen him my past 2 birthdays and there’s been other’s that he missed before that. He doesn’t talk to or see me otherwise. He actually also wasn’t even there when I was born.

Last year I tried to contact him through email, the only way I have to reach out to him, and it went completely ignored. I sent this e-mail after the last time he saw me, where he admitted that he was very absent, expressed regret and blah blah blah. After being ignored I pretty much decided that, since I am now an adult, I would wash my hands of my father and not attempt to have a relationship at all.

To be completely clear here: my mother isn’t preventing my father from having a relationship with me at all. In the past she’s often contacted him trying to get him to spend more time with me (dr’s appointments, little trips, things like that). I even once spent a few days at his home, and met his wife and their daughter.

Now to the part I need advice on –

My father recently emailed my mom to ask her for my phone number. My mother asked me if I was ok with her giving out my number. I told her to just give him my email. I’m sure you’re probably able to understand why, after deciding to not worry about my father anymore, I wasn’t willing to let him have my phone number. My father sent back that he wouldn’t bother me anymore since I didn’t want him to have my number.

I was fine with it. I told my grandma about it and she told me that I should’ve just gave him my number. To sum it up, her reasoning was that I should remain in contact with him in case I need anything from him.

My perspective is, I haven’t needed him before and I don’t need him now. In all honestly, I’m trying to forget about my parents and their issues (my mom is a whole separate problem herself) so that I can focus on me and build a good life for myself. I don’t think my father has the right to keep picking and choosing when he gets to be in my life. I want to make boundaries for myself so that I can heal and “glow up” (lol). With that being said, I understand my grandmothers side of it too. He has gifted me a car in the past and I wanted to use his military benefits for college. I understand that sometimes you have to swallow your pride if it will ultimately benefit you. I guess I’m stuck at a crossroads here. What do? I could try to email him again to give him my contact info.

excuse the awful grammar in this post. it’s hard to write out all of my thoughts and feelings

TLDR; My deadbeat dad wants my phone number. I chose to only give him my email. My grandmother thinks I should give him my phone number in case I ever need anything from him. I feel like I don’t need him and I just want to erase him from my life.